FAITH

I've started a new book that was recommended by my friend, Jan. It is about Faith. So far, I really like it. The most recent chapter went through the definition of faith and all the different meaning of the word according to different ways that it is used. The last thing that the author states I really liked. His wording is excellent. Thought I would share it. He said that faith is "the vital link between God and man. It is God activating in man such assurance and conviction regarding His will that one cannot but do the things that He asks." It is amazing when we are really paying attention to what God wants for our lives and really trusting HIm how much easier it can be to know the next steps to take. I say that on a day when I really am struggling with some decisions that we (I) have to make. The catch with this whole thing is that I am not sure there is always only one right answer. God gave us free will, and sometimes I think he provides options for us. I am struggling right now with that. Is God providing an option or is He specifically wanting me to go in one direction? If there is only one right answer, what is it?

We need to generate some additional income. The weekend after this realization, the doctor across street who has also become a friend, talked to me once again about working for him as his office manager. The timing of the conversation and the potential really excited me. But as time passed and the job began looking a little different than what I had imagined, I was not so excited. Today was the day of the interview, and to be honest, I was very, very nervous and really feeling like there was no reason to go because I just did NOT want to do the job. I felt a lot of pressure surrounding the whole situation for many reasons. My prayer all morning was that I would communicate well my strengths, my weaknesses and my desires and ask the right questions, which I think I did. There are three other doctors in his practice, so I met with him and two of them. The interview went well, and afterward, I felt much, much better about the possibility again. These waves of changing emotions are always the things that confuse me. For starters, I find it scary to rely on emotions when making decisions. (Of course, I have done it.) If I did it always, who knows where I would be right now, but definitely not right here. But I also know that God created us and made us with the emotions that we have, so maybe I should listen to them some, and sometimes they have steered me correctly. But how do you listen to something that changes like the wind. I am so thankful that God is unchanging and stable and wants what is best for me. I don't know at this point what I will do or even if they will offer me the job. That is left to be seen, and in the meantime, I will be praying a lot that God will make it very clear to me what I am supposed to do. I want nothing less than to be in the center of His will!

On another note, we are finally well in our house!!! YAY!!!! We had small group tonight for the first time in three weeks. Brent is actually out of town, so it was just me and two other couples (and of course all the kiddos running around). It was a nice evening. We had good discussion about God using our past to make us who we are today and how to forgive the hurts. I plugged the book I finished reading not too long ago, God Never Wastes a Hurt. I love small group. I love it that one of the couples does not profess Christianity but is willing to engage and be a part of the conversation. I love what I can learn from others. I realize how much I have missed not having a small group! It's good to have one again!