Good News!

Praise the Lord, the pediatric ENT said that Sarah is just fine. She said she was healing well and the stitches looked good and well-placed. She said we could return in 6 months for a follow up appointment but only if we felt it was really necessary. She expects we will have no complications. We were so thankful! Thanks for all of your prayers. For those of you who have not experienced major injuries to your children, especially blood related ones when you cannot identify the severity, I do not think it is possibly to describe the fear. Throughout everything with Sarah and with Jason years ago, I just prayed for them and prayed that whatever the outcome, I would glorify God because in my fear, I become afraid that I might not be able to glorify Him. I am so awed by watching the faith of people who go through the loss of a loved one, and especially a child. It is such a testimony to me.

I am also struck by the reality that I have very little control over my children. I can watch like a hawk, but things still happen, and I have to trust God with them completely. While there is fear in that, there is also freedom. I have three incidents in my life that I can think of right now that really speak to that. The first was when Jason cut his wrist and the ER doctor said that if the cut had been on more millimeter, it would have cut his main artery, and the chances of saving him would have been slim. The second was when the doctor was working on Sarah's mouth and said that he was just so glad she had not hit her parotid artery which was close to the injury. The third is a story involving James and a snake. He was at a friend's house and later told me that they were throwing rocks at snakes to kill them. Of course, as a mother, I told him he needed to stop doing that because it was dangerous. Later when I was expressing my fear to Brent, he said, "If God wants him to die by snake bite, there is very little you can do about it." While that is true, Brent was being silly and serious at the same time. He just wanted me to keep perspective. With four kids (or even just one), I could worry all of the time and be useless for God. Basically, our kids are in His hands. I am thankful for that because I can rest in the fact that He is in control. He kept Jason's artery from being cut (1 mm - I could never have controlled a millimeter). He kept Sarah's parotid artery from damage, and even protected that parietal gland that the ER doctor was concerned about. And thus far, He has also protected James from snakes or anything else that he might have gotten into without my knowledge. And He has protected David from who knows what, which could be a full-time job for any human! It is hard to let go of control, but sometimes it's not a matter of letting go, just a realization that I never had the control in the first place!

I try to think of how a person who does not know Jesus deals with this, and I just can't even imagine. I know if I have to lose a child, it will be incredibly difficult - I have no idea how I would handle it, but I would have the advantage of being able to remember the God who I serve is ready for the child to return home. James used to tell us that he was not going to live to be ten. It was never a fearful thing. In fact, he never even really told us outright, just made comments like, "If I am ever ten . . . " instead of "When I am ten . . . " When I asked him about it, he just always said, "I would really like to return to Jesus before then. I want to be with Jesus." It was such a sweet, innocent love of the Lord. I was always in awe because I was terrified of dying when I was his age. It's still not at the top of my list, and yet for him, it was a way to get to Jesus. It was really cool! Of course, we were also relieved when we had his 10th birthday and he was still with us!!! You begin to wonder after a while. I pray for a faith like that for myself and for that strong of a desire to be with Jesus.

I don't mean to talk about dying and pain so much, but it has been on my mind. I want to be able to let go of my children when God asks (realizing that they are going home to their Heavenly Father), and I will tell you that when the alarm went off when Sarah was receiving her stitches, I did not feel ready - I don't suppose a parent ever does. I don't know what happened exactly, but she needed oxygen, and she needed it fast. All I knew was that beeping like that in a hospital was not a good thing, and I was scared, as any parent would be. But once again, he protected her, and here we are a week later and she is in the other room trying to manipulate her father and being a sweet (and picky) as can be with two cheeks on her face that are the same size!!! Again, thanks for all of your prayers!