Today was one of those really great days!
We got up this morning, and I took James to the orthodontist, which was uneventful, but I had a few minutes of time with James, which is always nice.
I went home to get Sarah and take her to the foot doctor, where we were hoping she would get her cast removed, but I was fearful that it would not happen and we would end up at the beach on vacation next week with a daughter in a cast . . . that would really stink. But we were excited to find out that her foot was mostly healed, enough to remove the cast. It was such an exciting moment. I wish I could have caught her on video. She was giddy with excitement, squealing, "I'm healed, Mom. I'm healed!" Super sweet.
Brent met us at the doctor, but then he headed off to lunch and I took Sarah to find a pair of sandals that had a little more support than flip flops!! And we stopped for lunch together.
I went into work late, not until about 12, and Brent picked Sarah up from me. I had a couple great visits with foster children and a good visit with a couple foster families.
Brent took Sarah home and in the mail was our camera. It has been in Florida since April. We left it there, and it has been one LONG process getting it back. We were so glad to get it back before our vacation. Brent scrubbed Sarah's not so fresh leg and she got a nap. After that she and David went to spend the night with some friends and Brent and James and Jason met me at a barbecue for the former foster youth that we work with a Covenant. It was fun to hang out with these young adults and with my coworkers. None of the participants I work with actually were there, but I am excited to say five of them were missing because of work. I can't tell you how exciting it is that they are all working!! Of the other three, one has a job but that is not why she wasn't there tonight. I was thrilled to realize that of the 8 young ladies I work with, all but two have jobs!!!
After the barbecue, Brent and I took James and Jason to Dewar's for some ice cream. We so rarely have time with just the older two boys, and it was great to sit with them and not have little ones around interrupting. When we got home, Jason and I went out for a run. He actually rode the scooter while I ran, and though I was huffing and puffing, I still enjoyed his company. He talked and I answered with very quick answers because that's all I could get out, but I enjoyed listening to him or just being silent with him. It was precious time.
It's the simple things, nothing particularly special happened today, but it was just all in all a great day!!! I had a little bit of alone time with all my kids, except David. I can't say that too often. And I had alone time with David Saturday and again Tuesday. And as I wind down this week, I am eagerly anticipating a fun Community Group Sunday morning with Pancakes and people we love, followed by a vacation with even more people we love. I can't wait for our week away with the Casselberry's. What fun it will be!
All I can say is Thank You God for the simple blessing of a great day!!! It was truly wonderful!!!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Visitors
We've been blessed this summer with quite a few visitors, which has been nice since we didn't get to go back to Oklahoma this year. That's been hard, so we really appreciate the little blessings of God sending people our way!!!
At the end of May, my dad came to visit for a week. He got to hang out with all of us and go down to San Diego and surprise his mom with a visit as well. He spent a lot of time with the kids, taking them on bike rides and even taking the older two up to the Sequoias . . . they LOVED it!!! He looked a little for a job . . . it would be exciting if anything came to fruition. We are praying and waiting on God in that area.
Just after he left, Ann and Wes Rumph came. Wes is now in Santa Monica doing on internship. Our intention is to see him periodically, but with all our June medical emergencies, we haven't seen him since they were here on Father's Day. It has great to have time with them. Ann is such a great friend!!! She is one of my closest friends and mentors and we were in small group together for years and years. It was partially the challenges given by her husband that led Brent down the path of ministry. We enjoyed having Ann over for dinner. They were able to visit church and then we had lunch before they returned to Santa Monica.
Joel and Krista were here this last week. They are friends from Oklahoma . . . we were in small group together. Now they live in Costa Rica and are missionaries. They are a fabulous couple, and we just love them. They were such an encouragement to us in the 24 hours we had to spend with them, and hopefully we were a bit of an encouragement to them. We had a nice dinner at home last night. Then took them on a tour of Bakersfield . . . proving to them that Bakersfield is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I think Joel especially liked seeing the Kern River. They were able to join us for church this morning and jumped right in helping set up and tear down. Then we came home for leftovers. The older boys remember them well and were so excited to have them here. David remembered them once he saw them. I don't think Sarah could remember them, but she LOVED them . . . I'm afraid almost to death, or at least the point of being overwhelmed!!! Hopefully they will come back again!!! :)
Next week, a third family from Oklahoma will be meeting us at the coast for a week. Caroline and her husband, David, were also in our small group for years and years . . . and she is an adopted grandmother to my children. David was an amazing man. He died from a brain tumor in 2001. She has four grown children. Three of the four will be coming with her for the visit. It will be a tremendous week, and I should have lots to post about it afterward. I can't wait for the time with them.
The day after they leave, our friends the Fishers will arrive in LA. We will get to see Dalene and her mother, Esther, I'm sure, but the main thing we will be doing is picking up Steve and Dalene's oldest son, Spencer, who is James's best longest friend and bringing him up here with us for a while. I so look forward to the time the boys will have together. I wish all of the family could be up here with us, but they have some stuff going on down south, and Brent and I did get quality time with Steve and Dalene back in November. James is so, so excited!!! We've talked about doing this every summer but it just hasn't worked out.
Basically as soon as Spencer leaves, my mother will arrive. She will be here for about a week to hang out and so stay with the younger kids when we take James down for his second cleft lip surgery. I'm glad she will get to be here to see us and to be with the kids. She hasn't been here since we launched Kaleo; I am excited for her to meet our friends and to hear Brent teach.
As I type this, I realize even more that we had something incredible in our small group in Oklahoma. In 2010 alone, we have had the opportunity to see at least 2 members of four different families from that small group. We had such impacting (them impacting us) relationships with everyone in the group. It was such a diverse group . . . singles, couples, families with young children, families with older children, families with an empty next . . . we learned so much from each other, and though we had a lot of differences, we formed amazing bonds . . . friendships that will last our lifetime, I'm sure. It's very cool!!!
I hope the relationships we are building in our small group now will become the same. I love all these people as well, and while it's probably not as diverse, we have a lot of differences in other ways and still have a LOT to learn from each other. I'm glad God made us to be in relationships!!!
By the way, we LOVE visitors . . . come see us anytime!!!
At the end of May, my dad came to visit for a week. He got to hang out with all of us and go down to San Diego and surprise his mom with a visit as well. He spent a lot of time with the kids, taking them on bike rides and even taking the older two up to the Sequoias . . . they LOVED it!!! He looked a little for a job . . . it would be exciting if anything came to fruition. We are praying and waiting on God in that area.
Just after he left, Ann and Wes Rumph came. Wes is now in Santa Monica doing on internship. Our intention is to see him periodically, but with all our June medical emergencies, we haven't seen him since they were here on Father's Day. It has great to have time with them. Ann is such a great friend!!! She is one of my closest friends and mentors and we were in small group together for years and years. It was partially the challenges given by her husband that led Brent down the path of ministry. We enjoyed having Ann over for dinner. They were able to visit church and then we had lunch before they returned to Santa Monica.
Joel and Krista were here this last week. They are friends from Oklahoma . . . we were in small group together. Now they live in Costa Rica and are missionaries. They are a fabulous couple, and we just love them. They were such an encouragement to us in the 24 hours we had to spend with them, and hopefully we were a bit of an encouragement to them. We had a nice dinner at home last night. Then took them on a tour of Bakersfield . . . proving to them that Bakersfield is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I think Joel especially liked seeing the Kern River. They were able to join us for church this morning and jumped right in helping set up and tear down. Then we came home for leftovers. The older boys remember them well and were so excited to have them here. David remembered them once he saw them. I don't think Sarah could remember them, but she LOVED them . . . I'm afraid almost to death, or at least the point of being overwhelmed!!! Hopefully they will come back again!!! :)
Next week, a third family from Oklahoma will be meeting us at the coast for a week. Caroline and her husband, David, were also in our small group for years and years . . . and she is an adopted grandmother to my children. David was an amazing man. He died from a brain tumor in 2001. She has four grown children. Three of the four will be coming with her for the visit. It will be a tremendous week, and I should have lots to post about it afterward. I can't wait for the time with them.
The day after they leave, our friends the Fishers will arrive in LA. We will get to see Dalene and her mother, Esther, I'm sure, but the main thing we will be doing is picking up Steve and Dalene's oldest son, Spencer, who is James's best longest friend and bringing him up here with us for a while. I so look forward to the time the boys will have together. I wish all of the family could be up here with us, but they have some stuff going on down south, and Brent and I did get quality time with Steve and Dalene back in November. James is so, so excited!!! We've talked about doing this every summer but it just hasn't worked out.
Basically as soon as Spencer leaves, my mother will arrive. She will be here for about a week to hang out and so stay with the younger kids when we take James down for his second cleft lip surgery. I'm glad she will get to be here to see us and to be with the kids. She hasn't been here since we launched Kaleo; I am excited for her to meet our friends and to hear Brent teach.
As I type this, I realize even more that we had something incredible in our small group in Oklahoma. In 2010 alone, we have had the opportunity to see at least 2 members of four different families from that small group. We had such impacting (them impacting us) relationships with everyone in the group. It was such a diverse group . . . singles, couples, families with young children, families with older children, families with an empty next . . . we learned so much from each other, and though we had a lot of differences, we formed amazing bonds . . . friendships that will last our lifetime, I'm sure. It's very cool!!!
I hope the relationships we are building in our small group now will become the same. I love all these people as well, and while it's probably not as diverse, we have a lot of differences in other ways and still have a LOT to learn from each other. I'm glad God made us to be in relationships!!!
By the way, we LOVE visitors . . . come see us anytime!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Less Spiritual Thoughts While Running
So, sometimes when I run, I think about very little, other than getting it over with. Here are some of the thoughts I had tonight when I was out running in the upper 90 degree weather (with slight humidity, though nothing my friends in Oklahoma or other parts of the country are experiencing).
1. Definitely run after the sun is setting or before it has fully risen, when the temperature is at least 15 degrees cooler.
2. Definitely run after dinner has had plenty of time to settle or before I eat breakfast.
3. Run far away from home because the first part of the run is easy, and when it gets hard, I am motivated to get home. Not good if I am just two blocks away.
4. I hate to fail, but even more I hate to fail in front of people; thus, run with someone!!! Even my children keep me going, not because they encourage me necessarily but because no way do I want them to see me quit!!!!
Shallow, I know, but true!!! I need to get in the shower!!!!!
1. Definitely run after the sun is setting or before it has fully risen, when the temperature is at least 15 degrees cooler.
2. Definitely run after dinner has had plenty of time to settle or before I eat breakfast.
3. Run far away from home because the first part of the run is easy, and when it gets hard, I am motivated to get home. Not good if I am just two blocks away.
4. I hate to fail, but even more I hate to fail in front of people; thus, run with someone!!! Even my children keep me going, not because they encourage me necessarily but because no way do I want them to see me quit!!!!
Shallow, I know, but true!!! I need to get in the shower!!!!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Our Month in Review . . . A Bit Stressful
This will either make you stressed or crack you up, one or the other. I know this pales in comparison to many people's lives . . . we are healthy and happy, but the sheer number of times we have been to the Emergency Room/Urgent Care this month is unbelievable, especially when you consider how many different people in one house have been there. I need to call my AFLAC agent, and currently I am thankful we have it!!
May ended and June began with major trauma. Brent's back has been terrible, and he finally gave up on it getting better on its own and saw the doctor the last week of May. The doctor gave him medicine, so we decided that I would take the kids to San Diego for Memorial Day by myself so he could stay home and lay flat in bed in hopes of his back getting better. That's usually what it takes . . . a couple days of rest and pain medicine/muscle relaxers. Then it's usually better for several months. Well, he did that, and our trip to San Diego was fun!!! We had a good drive, followed by enjoyable time with my family. I drove back on to our street at about 7:30 Monday night. I could tell there was something going on at our neighbors and people were scared. I told the older two boys to take the younger two kids into the house and to tell Brent that something was happening. I ran over to find that the grandmother in the home (who was probably about 80) was in the car but not breathing. She had an oxygen tank, but it didn't seem to be working. I know nothing about oxygen tanks. The young woman in the house (her granddaughter-in-law) was calling 911. Brent came outside. The 911 operator told us we needed to get her out of the car and flat on her back in the driveway. She was a larger lady and Brent should not have been lifting her, but you do what you have to do when someone seems to be dying in front of your eyes. So Brent and her grandson lifted her out of the car. Her grandson began trying to do CPR while we waited on the ambulance. I continued giving instructions and talking to the operator. It appeared to me that she had already passed away, but we continued on, praying the whole time. The firetrucks and ambulance arrived, along with many family members. They transported her to the hospital where she was pronounced dead about 20 minutes later. We've both experienced death before, but never so traumatically. It was a tough night.
The next day, I was at work and got a phone call from the school that David was in the office saying, "My heart is cracking," and he was crying. He doesn't usually cry. Brent was closer to the school, so he went to see what was up. I thought everything was probably fine. My first thought was that he must have gotten in a fight with Reese or Sophie and meant "broken" not "cracking." However, Brent got worried and called me when he was on his way to Urgent Care. Brent was in such pain and had Sarah who was still in her PJs because he had been laying down all morning. I met him at Urgent Care and he left with Sarah to go back and rest. I was a little bummed (embarressed) to have to stay and explain the situation to the doctor (because I really thought he was fine), but I did. Thankfully, the doctor decided it must have just been heart burn. I don't know that he's ever had heart burn, so he probably didn't know what was happening. I think Brent was a little shaken from the night before (and maybe not thinking real clearly with the medication) and just overreacted a bit. It was actually kind of funny!!! That was June 1st.
On Friday, Brent went back to Urgent Care and got more help for his back. He also saw a pain management doctor and started physical therapy. That was Urgent Care visit number 2 for our family this month.
About a week and a half later, on Wednesday the 16th, we left the kids at home for a little bit while Brent went for a meeting. I was at work. Jason called and David fell off the swing that hangs from his bed and hit the back of his head. He was crying, but it was not a long fall, and I could not imagine it was that bad. He bangs himself up a lot. Brent's meeting was close to over and he was closer to home, so he went to check on things. David was throwing up by that time and could barely stay awake, so I met them both at the emergency room by my office. David had a mild concussion, and they wanted to do a CT scan to make sure it wasn't worse. We were at the ER for about 4 hours (really not so bad, actually). When we got home, Sarah who was home with James and Jason, was on the couch with ice on her foot, crying. Jason was lying on his stomach on the exercise ball. She jumped on his back and the ball rolled. Somehow in all of this her foot got twisted and Jason was on her. Because she cries so easily, we thought it probably wasn't a big deal and we watched it but ended up putting her to bed. However, when she woke up in the morning, it was swollen and discolored, so off she went to Urgent Care. She now has a cast on her foot until July 15th because she has a broken bone inside her foot.
Seems like three Urgent Care visits and one ER visit should be enough for one family in one month, right???? Well, I guess not. Last night, I drove to pick Jason up from a friend. All of the sudden, my vision got really messed up and I wasn't sure I should continued to drive. I stopped and called Brent and took a break for a second. My vision straightened out, so I went ahead and drove the rest of the way home. When I got home, I had a headache and things felt a little foggy. I was kind of groggy. I told Brent it kind of felt the way I feel when I come out of a seizure, but I was certain I had not had a seizure. Generally I have grand mal seizures and there is no way I wouldn't have realized. I have had smaller ones, but I still think I would have known. We decided to call the nurse hotline. While I was on the phone with the nurse, my lips got numb, and the fingers on my left hand started tingling. By that point I was pretty freaked out. They sent us to Urgent Care, but Brent was not sure that was enough, so he called our friend, David Rumph in Oklahoma, to see if he recommended the ER instead. He told Brent that it sounded like classic signs of a migraine. That put me more at ease, and we went ahead and just went to Urgent Care. David sure is a good doctor . . . I highly recommend him!!!! He was right, even from hundreds of miles away. I had an ocular migraine. They treated me with morphine and reglan at Urgent Care then sent me on to have a CT scan, just to make sure. It was clear, and we came home. This time, while we were gone, we asked our neighbor to come over and hang out with the kids. She didn't stay the whole time, but long enough!!! I'm thankful for a neighbor we can call on like that.
Needless to say, I am not sad that June is coming to an end. My goal is to stay away from doctors for the next three days and then all of July. And to submit those claims to AfLAC so we can pay for the medical bills we have accrued. I'm choosing to laugh at this point. It was nice to see our friends Eric and Shannon this morning and get to laugh with them about it.
Please put Brent's back on your prayer list. He is in so much pain. It's hard and so frustrating for him because it limits what he can do. He had an MRI last week, and is waiting on a return call from his doctor to see when he can get in to see what's going on. We know he has two herniated discs in his lower back, but usually it feels better faster than this, so we are becoming more concerned that there could be something else. In all of this chaos, we know God is in control. We are still trying to figure out what He wants us to learn from all of it!!!!
May ended and June began with major trauma. Brent's back has been terrible, and he finally gave up on it getting better on its own and saw the doctor the last week of May. The doctor gave him medicine, so we decided that I would take the kids to San Diego for Memorial Day by myself so he could stay home and lay flat in bed in hopes of his back getting better. That's usually what it takes . . . a couple days of rest and pain medicine/muscle relaxers. Then it's usually better for several months. Well, he did that, and our trip to San Diego was fun!!! We had a good drive, followed by enjoyable time with my family. I drove back on to our street at about 7:30 Monday night. I could tell there was something going on at our neighbors and people were scared. I told the older two boys to take the younger two kids into the house and to tell Brent that something was happening. I ran over to find that the grandmother in the home (who was probably about 80) was in the car but not breathing. She had an oxygen tank, but it didn't seem to be working. I know nothing about oxygen tanks. The young woman in the house (her granddaughter-in-law) was calling 911. Brent came outside. The 911 operator told us we needed to get her out of the car and flat on her back in the driveway. She was a larger lady and Brent should not have been lifting her, but you do what you have to do when someone seems to be dying in front of your eyes. So Brent and her grandson lifted her out of the car. Her grandson began trying to do CPR while we waited on the ambulance. I continued giving instructions and talking to the operator. It appeared to me that she had already passed away, but we continued on, praying the whole time. The firetrucks and ambulance arrived, along with many family members. They transported her to the hospital where she was pronounced dead about 20 minutes later. We've both experienced death before, but never so traumatically. It was a tough night.
The next day, I was at work and got a phone call from the school that David was in the office saying, "My heart is cracking," and he was crying. He doesn't usually cry. Brent was closer to the school, so he went to see what was up. I thought everything was probably fine. My first thought was that he must have gotten in a fight with Reese or Sophie and meant "broken" not "cracking." However, Brent got worried and called me when he was on his way to Urgent Care. Brent was in such pain and had Sarah who was still in her PJs because he had been laying down all morning. I met him at Urgent Care and he left with Sarah to go back and rest. I was a little bummed (embarressed) to have to stay and explain the situation to the doctor (because I really thought he was fine), but I did. Thankfully, the doctor decided it must have just been heart burn. I don't know that he's ever had heart burn, so he probably didn't know what was happening. I think Brent was a little shaken from the night before (and maybe not thinking real clearly with the medication) and just overreacted a bit. It was actually kind of funny!!! That was June 1st.
On Friday, Brent went back to Urgent Care and got more help for his back. He also saw a pain management doctor and started physical therapy. That was Urgent Care visit number 2 for our family this month.
About a week and a half later, on Wednesday the 16th, we left the kids at home for a little bit while Brent went for a meeting. I was at work. Jason called and David fell off the swing that hangs from his bed and hit the back of his head. He was crying, but it was not a long fall, and I could not imagine it was that bad. He bangs himself up a lot. Brent's meeting was close to over and he was closer to home, so he went to check on things. David was throwing up by that time and could barely stay awake, so I met them both at the emergency room by my office. David had a mild concussion, and they wanted to do a CT scan to make sure it wasn't worse. We were at the ER for about 4 hours (really not so bad, actually). When we got home, Sarah who was home with James and Jason, was on the couch with ice on her foot, crying. Jason was lying on his stomach on the exercise ball. She jumped on his back and the ball rolled. Somehow in all of this her foot got twisted and Jason was on her. Because she cries so easily, we thought it probably wasn't a big deal and we watched it but ended up putting her to bed. However, when she woke up in the morning, it was swollen and discolored, so off she went to Urgent Care. She now has a cast on her foot until July 15th because she has a broken bone inside her foot.
Seems like three Urgent Care visits and one ER visit should be enough for one family in one month, right???? Well, I guess not. Last night, I drove to pick Jason up from a friend. All of the sudden, my vision got really messed up and I wasn't sure I should continued to drive. I stopped and called Brent and took a break for a second. My vision straightened out, so I went ahead and drove the rest of the way home. When I got home, I had a headache and things felt a little foggy. I was kind of groggy. I told Brent it kind of felt the way I feel when I come out of a seizure, but I was certain I had not had a seizure. Generally I have grand mal seizures and there is no way I wouldn't have realized. I have had smaller ones, but I still think I would have known. We decided to call the nurse hotline. While I was on the phone with the nurse, my lips got numb, and the fingers on my left hand started tingling. By that point I was pretty freaked out. They sent us to Urgent Care, but Brent was not sure that was enough, so he called our friend, David Rumph in Oklahoma, to see if he recommended the ER instead. He told Brent that it sounded like classic signs of a migraine. That put me more at ease, and we went ahead and just went to Urgent Care. David sure is a good doctor . . . I highly recommend him!!!! He was right, even from hundreds of miles away. I had an ocular migraine. They treated me with morphine and reglan at Urgent Care then sent me on to have a CT scan, just to make sure. It was clear, and we came home. This time, while we were gone, we asked our neighbor to come over and hang out with the kids. She didn't stay the whole time, but long enough!!! I'm thankful for a neighbor we can call on like that.
Needless to say, I am not sad that June is coming to an end. My goal is to stay away from doctors for the next three days and then all of July. And to submit those claims to AfLAC so we can pay for the medical bills we have accrued. I'm choosing to laugh at this point. It was nice to see our friends Eric and Shannon this morning and get to laugh with them about it.
Please put Brent's back on your prayer list. He is in so much pain. It's hard and so frustrating for him because it limits what he can do. He had an MRI last week, and is waiting on a return call from his doctor to see when he can get in to see what's going on. We know he has two herniated discs in his lower back, but usually it feels better faster than this, so we are becoming more concerned that there could be something else. In all of this chaos, we know God is in control. We are still trying to figure out what He wants us to learn from all of it!!!!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thoughts While Running
I have been trying to run regularly. Brent and I started out doing a couch to 5K program. Since then, his doctor told him that because of his back condition, he can only walk briskly, but I am determined to complete the program . . . even if it kills me!!!! I don’t particularly love to run, but it has been good. I have been spending the time praying for people, particularly my family. In my prayer time, I have found myself asking and wondering what is truly important for my kids, particularly James and Jason, as they are getting older and their time at home is becoming shorter . . . Blah!!!
It’s been a tough year for James academically, particularly second semester. I say that only because school always seemed so easy for him, but it has gotten harder, and he has had more difficulty with it. A lot of it is because of his social life and possibly his priorities not being on the right things. I think because it always came so easily he has had to learn a hard lesson that sometimes it takes more work then you expect. But as I have been praying for him, for balance, for perseverance, for a good work ethic, I have also been thinking about how he has changed and how social he has become. This has not been a bad thing. He has a HUGE impact, or at least the opportunity to have a HUGE impact on his peers. If he was coming straight home every day and only doing homework, he would not have the friends he has or the opportunities he has to show them Jesus. Now, does that excuse poor work ethic? Of course not, the Bible says, “Do your work as unto the Lord.” This goes for students as well. But it has caused me to stop and think about things.
Parents can sometimes tend to focus on the wrong things. For some, it is athletic ability; for others, their child’s social life. For us, in the case of James, it has been his academic abilities and his potential. There is a difficult balance in this. Definitely there are great things that kids learn as a result of sports, social life, academics, drama, or any other extracurricular activities, and we, as parents, should encourage them in these areas. However, how often do we get too focused on these things, and forget the child’s heart. I don’t mean their salvation. I think most parents who love Jesus WANT their children to know Jesus, but I also think that after that decision is made, we sometimes become negligent of helping them grow in Christ, in helping their hearts develop to be like Jesus’s heart. How many times a week, how many hours a week, do we have our children practice sports or work on their multiplication tables or on their writing? How many hours a week do we have our children really seek to discern how the Lord is working on their hearts? For me, personally, it is a sad reality that the second is significantly less. I think, for some reason, that I just expected that after salvation, the rest would follow. There are many times in the day that I point my children toward Jesus, but how often is it truly intentional? How often do I really encourage them to seek to figure out how God is convicting them? Yet, I spend a lot of time reminding them to finish Geometry or spelling or whatever is on their plate.
I am now including in my running prayer time, that I will be a mom who focuses on the right things with my children. I want to encourage them in the areas where they excel, but what I want them to excel most at is being like Jesus. As their mom, as their greatest encourager, this needs to be my focus. All their abilities are temporary. They could be gone so quickly. I was no star athlete in high school. In fact, if any of my high school volleyball teammates read this, they might laugh at even the mention of it, but I was busy with other extracurricular activities, and I was very focused academically and made good grades. I also remember the day at church camp the summer between my junior and senior year when I had my first seizure, and I remember the day I was diagnosed with epilepsy and started on medication, and I remember how that changed my life, and how much it complicated things for the first few months. I struggled academically as I adjusted to new medication. I could not drive. I’m sure if I had been playing any sports at the time, I would not have been able to do it because I could barely get through a day of school from being so tired. There is about a month of my senior year that I really can’t remember because I was such a mess from the medication. The loss of abilities can happen so fast. They could be lost by an injury, an accident, health, anything. But what is in a child’s heart is there forever. Obviously, a person’s heart can go astray. But I believe the values that have been cultivated and grown, can be drawn out of them again. And if they have been cultivated well, it is probably less likely that they will go astray. I wrote in my status update on Facebook, Lord, help me raise my children to have hearts for YOU, and not get too focused on what they can and cannot do.
It’s hard . . . We made a decision this year not to allow David to compete in gymnastics. It was a HARD decision for me. He is a great little gymnast, and he loves it. It’s fun to watch him, and it’s fun for him (and for us, if I am to be honest) for him to get attention for his abilities. Brent had to remind me many times that we always said we would not let sports consume our children or our family when they were that young, if ever. It was still hard, and I know people in our lives who thought it was the wrong decision. I will say that we did not necessarily make the decision for the reasons I have written here, but I am glad that we made the decision now that I am pondering all of this. It is just too much for a child his age to go to school, do homework, practice like he was going to have to practice, and grow in his relationship with Jesus . . . and too much for the parents to be able to stay on top of. We would have neglected the cultivating of his heart, I am sure!
I’m sure I have friends out there who will read this and disagree with me. There are probably others who can, or think they can, do all of it. There are many people who balance better than we do, I know that to be a fact. That’s okay . . . I just feel convicted by it, and wanted to share. The important thing is that we focus on our children’s hearts, on helping them to have hearts like Jesus, who loved and served others.
It’s been a tough year for James academically, particularly second semester. I say that only because school always seemed so easy for him, but it has gotten harder, and he has had more difficulty with it. A lot of it is because of his social life and possibly his priorities not being on the right things. I think because it always came so easily he has had to learn a hard lesson that sometimes it takes more work then you expect. But as I have been praying for him, for balance, for perseverance, for a good work ethic, I have also been thinking about how he has changed and how social he has become. This has not been a bad thing. He has a HUGE impact, or at least the opportunity to have a HUGE impact on his peers. If he was coming straight home every day and only doing homework, he would not have the friends he has or the opportunities he has to show them Jesus. Now, does that excuse poor work ethic? Of course not, the Bible says, “Do your work as unto the Lord.” This goes for students as well. But it has caused me to stop and think about things.
Parents can sometimes tend to focus on the wrong things. For some, it is athletic ability; for others, their child’s social life. For us, in the case of James, it has been his academic abilities and his potential. There is a difficult balance in this. Definitely there are great things that kids learn as a result of sports, social life, academics, drama, or any other extracurricular activities, and we, as parents, should encourage them in these areas. However, how often do we get too focused on these things, and forget the child’s heart. I don’t mean their salvation. I think most parents who love Jesus WANT their children to know Jesus, but I also think that after that decision is made, we sometimes become negligent of helping them grow in Christ, in helping their hearts develop to be like Jesus’s heart. How many times a week, how many hours a week, do we have our children practice sports or work on their multiplication tables or on their writing? How many hours a week do we have our children really seek to discern how the Lord is working on their hearts? For me, personally, it is a sad reality that the second is significantly less. I think, for some reason, that I just expected that after salvation, the rest would follow. There are many times in the day that I point my children toward Jesus, but how often is it truly intentional? How often do I really encourage them to seek to figure out how God is convicting them? Yet, I spend a lot of time reminding them to finish Geometry or spelling or whatever is on their plate.
I am now including in my running prayer time, that I will be a mom who focuses on the right things with my children. I want to encourage them in the areas where they excel, but what I want them to excel most at is being like Jesus. As their mom, as their greatest encourager, this needs to be my focus. All their abilities are temporary. They could be gone so quickly. I was no star athlete in high school. In fact, if any of my high school volleyball teammates read this, they might laugh at even the mention of it, but I was busy with other extracurricular activities, and I was very focused academically and made good grades. I also remember the day at church camp the summer between my junior and senior year when I had my first seizure, and I remember the day I was diagnosed with epilepsy and started on medication, and I remember how that changed my life, and how much it complicated things for the first few months. I struggled academically as I adjusted to new medication. I could not drive. I’m sure if I had been playing any sports at the time, I would not have been able to do it because I could barely get through a day of school from being so tired. There is about a month of my senior year that I really can’t remember because I was such a mess from the medication. The loss of abilities can happen so fast. They could be lost by an injury, an accident, health, anything. But what is in a child’s heart is there forever. Obviously, a person’s heart can go astray. But I believe the values that have been cultivated and grown, can be drawn out of them again. And if they have been cultivated well, it is probably less likely that they will go astray. I wrote in my status update on Facebook, Lord, help me raise my children to have hearts for YOU, and not get too focused on what they can and cannot do.
It’s hard . . . We made a decision this year not to allow David to compete in gymnastics. It was a HARD decision for me. He is a great little gymnast, and he loves it. It’s fun to watch him, and it’s fun for him (and for us, if I am to be honest) for him to get attention for his abilities. Brent had to remind me many times that we always said we would not let sports consume our children or our family when they were that young, if ever. It was still hard, and I know people in our lives who thought it was the wrong decision. I will say that we did not necessarily make the decision for the reasons I have written here, but I am glad that we made the decision now that I am pondering all of this. It is just too much for a child his age to go to school, do homework, practice like he was going to have to practice, and grow in his relationship with Jesus . . . and too much for the parents to be able to stay on top of. We would have neglected the cultivating of his heart, I am sure!
I’m sure I have friends out there who will read this and disagree with me. There are probably others who can, or think they can, do all of it. There are many people who balance better than we do, I know that to be a fact. That’s okay . . . I just feel convicted by it, and wanted to share. The important thing is that we focus on our children’s hearts, on helping them to have hearts like Jesus, who loved and served others.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
A Glimpse of Jason's Heart
Jason wrote this in school, and I am reprinting it with his permission. I just thought it was sweet. It will be fun to look back on one day.
"Thinking Ahead"
What will I be when I'm 23?
I will be finishing college and I will have a part time job as a photographer. The college may be Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I will live in a campus apartment, so I am closer to my classes. When I graduate, I want to have my master's degree. After I graduate, I will come back to California and work for my church.
What will I see when I'm 43?
I'll have a beautiful wife, three kids and two or three dogs. We'll live in Oklahoma, out in the country. We'll own seven to eight acres of land and a big house with a pool. My kids will be 15, 13, and 9.
What will I do when I'm 62?
I'll be close to retirement, but I will work for a church. I might even become a pastor. I will have grandchildren. I will live in the same house. My wife will be retired. I will want to have my grandchildren around a lot. My youngest child will still be in college. She may go to Oklahoma University.
If I'm Alive at 95 . . .
I may have great grandchildren. I will be retired but in shape and healthy. I will live in the city, and my wife will be with me. She'll be healthy. My grandchildren will be under the age of 50. My brothers and sister will still be alive.
"Thinking Ahead"
What will I be when I'm 23?
I will be finishing college and I will have a part time job as a photographer. The college may be Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I will live in a campus apartment, so I am closer to my classes. When I graduate, I want to have my master's degree. After I graduate, I will come back to California and work for my church.
What will I see when I'm 43?
I'll have a beautiful wife, three kids and two or three dogs. We'll live in Oklahoma, out in the country. We'll own seven to eight acres of land and a big house with a pool. My kids will be 15, 13, and 9.
What will I do when I'm 62?
I'll be close to retirement, but I will work for a church. I might even become a pastor. I will have grandchildren. I will live in the same house. My wife will be retired. I will want to have my grandchildren around a lot. My youngest child will still be in college. She may go to Oklahoma University.
If I'm Alive at 95 . . .
I may have great grandchildren. I will be retired but in shape and healthy. I will live in the city, and my wife will be with me. She'll be healthy. My grandchildren will be under the age of 50. My brothers and sister will still be alive.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Status Updates
I thought it would be fun, for myself, to look back through my facebook status updates to see the funny little things my kids, particularly the younger two, have said over the last couple years. Brent’s grandmother has always told me I needed a little book to write down all the funny things. I never listened to her, but now I have a little record through FB. I decided I am putting it in my blog because it takes a long time to got back through status updates for the last 2 1/2 years.
I just picked David up from his first day of kindergarten. He said, "It was awesome! But I missed you mom!" That's the best evaluation I could have gotten!
When I was pregnant with Sarah, I wanted to name her Katie after Katie Casselberry and Katie Rumph (sorry to those of you who do not know these amazing young women!) because I wanted a daughter just like them. Today, I must say, she is not meeting those expectations!!!
The conversation in the other room: Brent, "You have to wear a shirt, Sarah." Sarah, "Dad, they're boxers." Brent, "You still have to wear a shirt. You don't see mom running around without a shirt on." Sarah, "But Dad, they're boxers." My poor daughter, growing up in a home with only brothers!
David told me tonight, "I want to go back to the old days." He's 6!!!
I think the internet and text messaging has ruined spelling for the current generation. As a mother, it's making me crazy!!!
Tonight David asked if we can see Jesus. I told him that when he was on earth, people saw him, but that was a long, long time before he (David) was born. He asked, "Did Grandma Mabel see him?" Grandma Mabel is 90. It's funny what a long, long time ago is to a six year old.
Sarah just came in and asked me to smell the stamp on her hand. I guess it is supposed to smell like candy canes. I told her it smelled like a dirty hand. She said, "You're not nice. You called me a trash can!!"
Brent and I went on a nice date tonight. This is what Sarah said when we got home, "I can't believe you went on a date without me, mom." James said, "That's the point!!!" I can tell who's growing up!!!
Sarah, standing in my closet looking at a dress I wore to Becky Casselberry's wedding, "Mom, when will you wear this dress again? Are you going to wear it to my wedding?" Me, "No, probably not (with a little snicker)." Sarah, "You're not going to come to my wedding?” Only she was almost in tears!
Apparently growing up with all boys is taking it's toll on Sarah. Just now she asked me, "When I get married, what will you name me?" I was trying to explain that her first name won't change but her last name will. I told her Colaw will change to the same last name as the boy. She responded, "Not a boy, no, not a boy. I don't want to marry a boy." Oh my!!! We have some teaching to do!!!
James cleaned the kitchen so nicely!!! Too bad he threw away our thawing dinner . . . even when I try to cook, something happens!
Tonight I was teasing my boys about growing mustaches when they grow up and Sarah said she wanted to grow one. I heard David tell her girls can't have mustaches. She immediately asked if this was true. When I told her yes, she began to cry!! OH MY!!!
Conversation with Sarah after coming home from Wendy's, which she requested: (Very Cranky Voice) Mom, why'd they give me fries? Me: Kid's meals come with fries. Sarah (still very cranky): I didn't want fries. Me: Okay, don't eat them. Sarah (normal voice): I want to eat them. I like the salt.” I am a girl, and I do not understand her!!!!
Sarah cracks me up!!! This morning I took her into her room to pick out clothes, which she helped me choose. A few minutes later she came into my room with a very cranky voice and said, "Mom, I look ridiculous! I look like David!!!" I have no idea why she said that. However, when I told her we could go choose something else, she refused. I can't imagine what things are going to be like when she is a teenager.
In effort to put things into perspective, God provided a situation that was much worse than the insurance thing. David did not come home from school today. His friend said he wasn't on the bus, but the school office said he wasn't there either. . .After a couple minutes of panic on our part, he walked into the school office. He missed his bus stop and was in deed on the bus, so the driver took him back to school.
If my son does not accept my friend request, I am deleting his whole facebook account!!!!
Just had to wake David up to get him OUT of the shower, and now he is telling me he is NOT tired and does NOT need to go to bed.
David just ran into my room saying, "This movie freaks me out!" He's watching Babe. Yes, the movie about the pig . . . not the best movie ever, but not one I would expect to freak him out either!!! Weird!
Made ribs for dinner tonight (a first, and they were pretty good)!!!! I was pulling the meat off the bone for Sarah. She asked, "Are those real bones?" Her response to my "yes" was, "Whose bones are they???"
Brent just corrected Sarah when she said, "Oh My God" by saying, "Sarah, we can't use 'God' as an explicative." I'm sure she totally gets it now!!!! Sometimes his father in him comes out big time. He says he used to have to go ask his mom to translate.
There are so many things wrong with this . . . keep in mind, David is terrible with names so he often has to describe people. David: "It's someone's birthday today." (Clearly, that's true, but I figured it must be someone he knows.) Me: "Whose?" David: "You know the one in my class who disobeys a lot . . . but sometimes he doesn't." (I guess he was giving him some grace? But also doesn't that describe almost everyone in his class???) Needless to say, I was no closer to figuring it out after that description.
Role playing in Sunday School about telling people about Jesus . . . David to Paul, "Do you know Jesus?" Paul, "No." David, "Jesus died on the cross for your sins and if you believe in Him, you can die on the cross also." Oooops!!! We all got a good laugh out of this one before he corrected himself!
I'm wondering what it says about me that anytime I am sweeping or vacuuming or any other type of cleaning, the kids ask, "Who's coming over tonight?"
Me: donde esta su padre? Sarah: if you speak Spanish, I'm going to say you don't have eyelashes. Me: WHAT????? Sarah: well, dora doesn't have any! I don't think that's the message the producers were trying to tell.
James is definitely taller than me now!!! I still have the psychological advantage, however!!! And he better not forget that!
I learned a couple things through doing this: 1) Sarah causes me to say “Oh, my!” a lot! 2) I need to post more about James and Jason, but Jason especially.
I just picked David up from his first day of kindergarten. He said, "It was awesome! But I missed you mom!" That's the best evaluation I could have gotten!
When I was pregnant with Sarah, I wanted to name her Katie after Katie Casselberry and Katie Rumph (sorry to those of you who do not know these amazing young women!) because I wanted a daughter just like them. Today, I must say, she is not meeting those expectations!!!
The conversation in the other room: Brent, "You have to wear a shirt, Sarah." Sarah, "Dad, they're boxers." Brent, "You still have to wear a shirt. You don't see mom running around without a shirt on." Sarah, "But Dad, they're boxers." My poor daughter, growing up in a home with only brothers!
David told me tonight, "I want to go back to the old days." He's 6!!!
I think the internet and text messaging has ruined spelling for the current generation. As a mother, it's making me crazy!!!
Tonight David asked if we can see Jesus. I told him that when he was on earth, people saw him, but that was a long, long time before he (David) was born. He asked, "Did Grandma Mabel see him?" Grandma Mabel is 90. It's funny what a long, long time ago is to a six year old.
Sarah just came in and asked me to smell the stamp on her hand. I guess it is supposed to smell like candy canes. I told her it smelled like a dirty hand. She said, "You're not nice. You called me a trash can!!"
Brent and I went on a nice date tonight. This is what Sarah said when we got home, "I can't believe you went on a date without me, mom." James said, "That's the point!!!" I can tell who's growing up!!!
Sarah, standing in my closet looking at a dress I wore to Becky Casselberry's wedding, "Mom, when will you wear this dress again? Are you going to wear it to my wedding?" Me, "No, probably not (with a little snicker)." Sarah, "You're not going to come to my wedding?” Only she was almost in tears!
Apparently growing up with all boys is taking it's toll on Sarah. Just now she asked me, "When I get married, what will you name me?" I was trying to explain that her first name won't change but her last name will. I told her Colaw will change to the same last name as the boy. She responded, "Not a boy, no, not a boy. I don't want to marry a boy." Oh my!!! We have some teaching to do!!!
James cleaned the kitchen so nicely!!! Too bad he threw away our thawing dinner . . . even when I try to cook, something happens!
Tonight I was teasing my boys about growing mustaches when they grow up and Sarah said she wanted to grow one. I heard David tell her girls can't have mustaches. She immediately asked if this was true. When I told her yes, she began to cry!! OH MY!!!
Conversation with Sarah after coming home from Wendy's, which she requested: (Very Cranky Voice) Mom, why'd they give me fries? Me: Kid's meals come with fries. Sarah (still very cranky): I didn't want fries. Me: Okay, don't eat them. Sarah (normal voice): I want to eat them. I like the salt.” I am a girl, and I do not understand her!!!!
Sarah cracks me up!!! This morning I took her into her room to pick out clothes, which she helped me choose. A few minutes later she came into my room with a very cranky voice and said, "Mom, I look ridiculous! I look like David!!!" I have no idea why she said that. However, when I told her we could go choose something else, she refused. I can't imagine what things are going to be like when she is a teenager.
In effort to put things into perspective, God provided a situation that was much worse than the insurance thing. David did not come home from school today. His friend said he wasn't on the bus, but the school office said he wasn't there either. . .After a couple minutes of panic on our part, he walked into the school office. He missed his bus stop and was in deed on the bus, so the driver took him back to school.
If my son does not accept my friend request, I am deleting his whole facebook account!!!!
Just had to wake David up to get him OUT of the shower, and now he is telling me he is NOT tired and does NOT need to go to bed.
David just ran into my room saying, "This movie freaks me out!" He's watching Babe. Yes, the movie about the pig . . . not the best movie ever, but not one I would expect to freak him out either!!! Weird!
Made ribs for dinner tonight (a first, and they were pretty good)!!!! I was pulling the meat off the bone for Sarah. She asked, "Are those real bones?" Her response to my "yes" was, "Whose bones are they???"
Brent just corrected Sarah when she said, "Oh My God" by saying, "Sarah, we can't use 'God' as an explicative." I'm sure she totally gets it now!!!! Sometimes his father in him comes out big time. He says he used to have to go ask his mom to translate.
There are so many things wrong with this . . . keep in mind, David is terrible with names so he often has to describe people. David: "It's someone's birthday today." (Clearly, that's true, but I figured it must be someone he knows.) Me: "Whose?" David: "You know the one in my class who disobeys a lot . . . but sometimes he doesn't." (I guess he was giving him some grace? But also doesn't that describe almost everyone in his class???) Needless to say, I was no closer to figuring it out after that description.
Role playing in Sunday School about telling people about Jesus . . . David to Paul, "Do you know Jesus?" Paul, "No." David, "Jesus died on the cross for your sins and if you believe in Him, you can die on the cross also." Oooops!!! We all got a good laugh out of this one before he corrected himself!
I'm wondering what it says about me that anytime I am sweeping or vacuuming or any other type of cleaning, the kids ask, "Who's coming over tonight?"
Me: donde esta su padre? Sarah: if you speak Spanish, I'm going to say you don't have eyelashes. Me: WHAT????? Sarah: well, dora doesn't have any! I don't think that's the message the producers were trying to tell.
James is definitely taller than me now!!! I still have the psychological advantage, however!!! And he better not forget that!
I learned a couple things through doing this: 1) Sarah causes me to say “Oh, my!” a lot! 2) I need to post more about James and Jason, but Jason especially.
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