Family Prints

Jason

2011-09-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

Early this summer, Jason came home and asked for a Fedora. I didn't even know what a Fedora was!!! Luckily he has a dad and brother who are clued in. Here he is climbing a rock at the beach in his fedora. Who wears a fedora while climbing??? He loves it, and he wears it pretty well. This is classic Jason. I understand that these are becoming more popular, but I can tell you that I've never seen one of Jason's friends wearing one. He is such an individual. It poses it's challenges, but it is also a great characteristic. He continues to grow in his beliefs and has very strong convictions; we are working with him on grace and less judgment. Life is black and white, and for the most part he wants nothing to do with anything he thinks is morally wrong.
However, he is also quicker than his older brother to push the rules Brent and I set for him, especially if he doesn't agree with them. He is a good friend and will stand up for the underdog, which is something I am very proud of in him. He's a great conversationalist. I was on the phone with a friend the other day, and she said something about really enjoying conversations with Jason. She said she is around other kids his age, and they can't carry on a conversation with adults, but she finds it easy to talk to him. It's true; he's so social and has very good social skills with kids of all ages. He is good to babysit and play with his younger siblings, but he is equally great in adult conversations.
He loves to take pictures and talks now of being a photographer one day. This summer he and some of his friends got into making "stop motions". They took hundreds of pictures of lego guys and put those pictures into video form. He had a blast doing this and it occupied lots of time. I still can't seem to add a link, but Normal Joe Productions is the name of their youtube channel, and the address is http://www.youtube.com/user/normaljoeproductions. It's pretty entertaining!!!!
I look forward to see where his creativity takes him.
when James and Jason were little guys, maybe 3 and 6, Grandpa Colaw used to say that when they grow up, they should have a company together. James could be the brains behind the whole thing, and Jason could charm their way into everyone's life. Not that James can't be charming and Jason isn't smart, but this continues to summarize our two oldest boys very well. Grandpa had incredible insight even when they were so young.

James

2011-09-06T21:56:00.000-07:00

"I'm sure you know this already, but man James is an awesome kid. :-)"

This was written on my Facebook wall the other day by a friend who also attends our church. I can't tell you how proud that made me. He really is an awesome kid!!! We have so many things that we love about him, so many funny stories. He's a hard worker. His boss calls him the robot because he works so hard without stopping. He's funny and makes us laugh all the time, most of the time intentionally. He's creative. He can draw and design and edit video and does it all with excellence. He is a great writer. I love finding his notes in my Bible. He writes little notes to us that mean so much. We love talking to him after church on Sunday to hear what he learned from the teaching and his critique of his dad. Brent says that if he wants to know the truth, he asks James. His critiques are normally very helpful!!! He loves the Lord and he loves people. He is a servant. One of my favorite recent memories was at a Gone for Good when we went to feed the homeless. Brent was not with us, and he's usually the one who draws all the people together and uses his hospitality gifts as easily in the homeless park as he does in our living room. I was busy serving with some of the other adults in our small group while other adults were watching the kids who were with us, so the people were not being drawn into conversation and rather than sitting with us, they were getting their food and going to sit under a tree. I looked up and saw James and Jason walking over to sit with them. They sat down on the ground right next to them and were striking up a conversation. After I finished serving, I went over to see what was being discussed. They were discussing the Vietnam war. The two man they were talking to at that moment had both served in Vietnam. James continued talking to them for probably over an hour. When we were driving home, I told him how proud I was of him for taking initiative and going over there. He said, "I just wish I was more like dad." I asked what that meant. He said he has to force conversations with them. He wished it came as naturally as it does for Brent. I almost laughed at his expectations for himself. Not only is he only 16 and speaking to homeless people, but he's 16 and speaking to 50-60 year old men and feeling bad for his conversational skills when obviously those men felt perfectly comfortable to talk to him for so long. He's just incredible with people. Many 16 year olds would have been mad at their mom and dad for making them go to the park and would never have considered going and sitting on the ground to be part of the conversation. Not James.

He had a really interesting/scary experience about a week ago. He was out on his skateboard at about 9:00 a week and a half ago on a Friday night with his friend, Jake. They were on their way home from grabbing a bite to eat. It had been a rough week, and I was wiped out, so I was laying in bed watching a movie. Brent was beside me when the phone rang. It was a very odd conversation that I could not understand but it seemed obvious that I should jump up and get ready to walk out the door. James was down the street, by the elementary school that David and Sarah attend, with Jake and the police. He and Jake were riding down the road when they realized a car was driving slowly beside them with about five guys in it. They decided to make a turn and go into a neighborhood to get away from the car. They were punching in the code to open the gate when the car pulled up and two guys jumped out of the car. Jake realized what they were doing and rolled his skateboard to them then ran into light and called the police (FLIGHT). James, on the other hand, responded by shoving the first guy out of the way and running after the second (FIGHT). When he ran after the second, the first got up and used a taser on James's abdomen. They then grabbed his board and ran. It turned out that James and Jake were maybe the third victims of the evening, and another boy was attacked after them. (This fight or flight story is a perfect example of James and Jake's friendship. They are as opposite as can be, but incredible for each other.)

It was super scary for all of us . . . the boys and their parents. We've all recovered, though I still think I may be a little overprotective for a while. James works at a skate and surf shop, so the next day when he went into work, his boss gave him a skateboard, and James bought Jake a new board also. That night we took James over to Jake's house, and both boys were back on their new boards. The police caught the criminals and they (at least some of them) are in juvenile hall. Some, if not all, of the items have been recovered. Brent was on the news as was the back of James while on his board. I was nervous about the news involvement, but I guess it's all okay. I can't seem to upload the link to the news story, but it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORyWtyBUoK0, if you want to cut and paste it.

This has been another moment in my life as a parent where I realize just how precious life is and how I need to be careful not to take things for granted. We are so thankful they had a taser and not a knife or gun. It could have been so much worse. As we talked to Jake's parent the following and watched the boys on their boards playing and having fun, I think we were all incredibly grateful.

trying a new thing . . .

2011-09-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

I've been terrible about this blogging thing. Seems like I'm so busy, but I really like looking back on what I've written and being reminded of various things, including how God was working in my life at different times. So I was trying to think of what I might like to blog about, something that might make me excited to write.

I'm going to try to start with writing something about Brent and I, something about our relationship, how God is using us, whatever. If I can stay disciplined, I will do one day about us, one about each of the kids and one about work or something like that.

I must tell you that ministry has been beyond stressful lately. Actually, just life in general has been. There have been all sorts of stress: finances, relationships, time management, work related stuff for me, you name it. We can sense God really using us in different ways, but it also takes a toll. (I'm not one to blame everything on spiritual warfare, but looking back on our year, I can't help but wonder if Satan is trying to drag us down. I'm tired of picking up the phone to call home with another catastrophe.) We've had some friends going through a rough time in their marriage. We love being there for them, but it also brings up garbage in your own marriage, so we have had to talk through some stuff, which is not really all that fun. But in the process of watching Brent handle difficult situations, I have been so proud and so thankful for the man God gave to me. He has been so reliant on God. This particular situation is so much more than we know what to do with, but we know that we were called into the middle of it for a reason, and we want to be where God wants us to be and to be used by Him. I have watched Brent sit quietly praying for the next step and then listened to him as he acted on what he felt God leading him to do or say. It has been exciting to watch lives transforming because Brent has allowed himself to be used by God, even when he felt totally incapable. Truly amazing!!!!

I was "telling my story" at small group the other night. I've done this so many times before, beginning back when we were in Kyle Unruh's small group in Bartlesville, but it's always a little different and I always teach myself something (or remind myself of something) as I tell my own story. The thing I realized as I told my story last week is that God puts us through circumstances and gives us opportunities for a reason. If we are willing to be his tool, he will use us in really big ways. I've been watching my husband be taken out of his comfort zone to be God's tool, and he has been doing an amazing job.

I would just ask any of you who happen to read this to be praying for us. We had all the physical injuries last year with all six of us being in urgent care at one time or another (and David in on three occasions). There is an earlier post about that, I think. Recently, it has seemed more relational and emotional. James was mugged a little over a week ago. I will tell that story another time. I had to make a decision in effort to protect James's emotions in another situation and force him (and Jason) to delete one of our "friends" from Facebook because of hateful, sarcastic comments, which has caused even more relational turmoil for Brent and me, and as much as I play "tough", I don't like people not liking me, and Brent hates it when people are not happy with him. He wants to be loved by everyone. So it's been a tough couple weeks, and we could use your prayers for protection and for wisdom.

Here's the most recent family picture I have from our vacation to Yosemite last month. We went on our first ever camping trip. I will have to blog about that soon. Not the best picture. We were being swarmed by mosquitos, but the lake was beautiful and we hiked 3.5 miles one way to see it, so we had to get a picture.

18 Years

2011-06-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

It's 10:00 my time, so midnight Oklahoma time. 18 years ago right now, I was still out with my bridesmaids and other close friends being silly in Tulsa. They made me look ridiculous, took me to Albertsons (only I'm sure it was not Albertson's at the time . . . that store' been so many different things over the years . . . Food Pyramid now, I believe) and embarrassed me, then drove me to Tulsa to TGI Fridays and embarrassed me some more. We had fun giggling and enjoying each other, then got to bed far too late. I was up early the next morning to get ready for the day.

I loved my wedding day! It was perfect with the exception of not being able to be at much of our reception because of pictures . . . and the simplicity of the reception. It was beautiful, even the teal bridesmaid's dresses, which Brent looks back on and doesn't like (but I think that's all part of it)!!! They were a beautiful color then!!! Our wedding was a little long probably, but we loved it, and it was OUR wedding!! We had a lot of songs. Our parents sang. Brent wrote me a song with Larry Dearman's help with music, and Terri sang it. My roommate sang a song, and Larry also sang another song!!! Then we had all the other traditional things of the time . . . unity candle, communion, vows, a prayer with all of our parents.

Brent had beautiful bouquets of flowers made, one for Joyce and one for Vinita (his biological mother). I knew nothing about it until the wedding day. I knew how thoughtful he was, but those flowers coupled with the song he wrote for me so confirmed to me the heart of the man I was marrying. He continues to be equally amazing to this day!!!

I shed lots of tears that day . . . tears of happiness (I think I cried most of the way through the wedding) and tears of sadness, saying goodbye to my parents who would be long gone from Bartlesville by the time we returned home. The next time I saw them things would be just a little different since I now had a husband and was no longer just their little girl, and that was a little hard even though I was so excited. We also had lots of laughs that day. During the wedding, Grandpa Colaw referred to me as the husband or Brent as the wife (I can't remember which). I thought he said it wrong, but I was nervous and uncertain, so I corrected him, but with some hesitation. I remember everyone laughing behind me. But the funnier thing (funnier now than then) is that when we got to Tulsa after the wedding and went to check into our hotel room, they asked Brent for ID. You had to be 21 to rent a room, and we were not. They almost didn't give us our room, and did, in fact, ask Brent to call his parents to drive to Tulsa to rent the room for us. Yes, talk about an awkward moment. Brent refused and ultimately the poor lady let us check in.

I can hardly believe it has been 18 years since that amazing day! No day will ever be the same. Sometimes I wish we could go back in time and relive certain moments. This is one of them. I loved that day, everything about it. I can't be honest and say that I have loved every day since then, but I can say that I do love the journey that we have had together and will continue to have. Brent is the best husband and best friend I could ask for. God knew what he was doing when he brought us together. I cannot imagine where my life would be without him. Marriage is not always easy . . . in fact most of the time it isn't easy. When it seems to be easy, I think I better watch out because Satan will probably be attacking. But marriage is incredible. I am so thankful for the things God teaches me through Brent and our relationship. I am blessed as I look back over the last 18 years of my life with Brent . . . so many little memories pop into my mind, and I smile. Thanks, God, for the most amazing husband in the world!!!

A Whirlwind . . .

2011-04-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

I wanted to title this "In a Nut Shell" but there is no way I can type all that's been going on in what people would consider a "Nut Shell", so I'm not even going to try or lead whoever may read this to believe otherwise.

First of all, I want to say that we are really doing well!!! I have repeated the verse, "Count it all joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds," James 1:2. And I have been remembering that while things may seem difficult in our lives in some ways, there are so many worse things going on all around us. With that said, I thought I would share things that have been going on with us . . . good and bad.

Today, Friday April 15th (just in case it takes some time to get this posted), James was officially diagnosed with epilepsy. Wow! That was harder to type than I thought. First of all, let me tell you that he has been such an incredible testimony, and I am one proud mama!!!! He got pretty sick with a virus in early March and was in bed for six days running a fever. It would go up and down, but never really went away until the final day. Even after he returned to school, he was exhausted and came home after school and went almost immediately to bed . . . after a snack, or should I say first dinner because he doesn't really have snacks anymore. The kid can eat!!! After about a week of this, I decided it must have become a habit, and I needed to put an end to it, and started making him stay awake after school. Sometime during that second week, he started complaining of very short lapses of time. You would think that having a seizure disorder myself, my mind would have gone straight there, but I guess I was living contentedly in a world of denial. I kept thinking it must have been related to being sick and that it would go away. It wasn't affecting him significantly because they lasted for such a short time, but one night he came into our room and said he really wanted to go to the doctor. At that moment Brent said he wondered if James was having seizures. With that now in my mind, I acted quickly and got him a doctor's appointment immediately. That was about a month ago. He has continued to have anywhere from 3-5 of these little "lapses" every day. The lapses are followed by short spells of either a headache, tight muscles in his stomach, some anxiety or depressed feelings or a combination. He has had an EEG and an MRI. We were happy to learn today that the MRI was normal, ruling out a brain tumor. The EEG was also normal, but that has little meaning. It just means they didn't catch any seizure activity during the 20 minutes he was hooked up to the machine. I've had many normal EEGs in my life but have also had many abnormal ones and have had seizures anyway. With the normal EEG, I must say that I was hesitant to begin medication, but the truth of the matter is that the doctor identified the issues he was having as seizure activity a couple weeks ago and wanted to start medication then. James hates having these little seizures, which at this point are just more of an inconvenience than anything, but which at any moment could lead to a grand mal seizure, which could be very dangerous for him. So tonight, in about an hour, he will take his first dose of anti-seizure medication.

This is the culmination of a year of incredible medical problems, mostly just injuries, but medical problems none the less. It's been rough, and I have had moments of frustration with God (If I am to be open and honest). The moments have been brief accompanied by tears and then me trying to seek and trust God with everything, but they have happened. I have been watching my kids and learning lessons from them, and they have learned lessons from us. The financial impact of all these medical issues has been one the the greatest difficulties in all of this. We are so thankful to our parents and a few dear friends who have helped us through a couple of tight spots. I don't know what we would have done. I tend to steer away from giving Satan too much credit for the personal sin that we as humans have, but I must tell you that in this case, I feel Satan has been attacking. In a very small way, I have felt like Job with all of us experiencing significant medical issues this year. James had been the one free and clear of Urgent Care/Emergency Room visits, (He actually still is because we never took him to either of those places!!!) and I was happy that at least one of us had not had some medical crisis, but that did not last. His crisis is likely the worst due to longevity issues.

In addition to all of the medical issues, there have been a few other things that have happened that have been difficult and challenging. At first I was going to mention it, but I don't think I will now. Seems pointless and complaining. What I will say is that these challenges are molding me more and more into the person God wants me to be. If I can look at them in that light, they don't seem quite so bad!!!

And in fact as I type, so many blessings come to mind. A couple weeks ago, we enjoyed an amazing weekend of fellowship and service with our small group and church, enjoying each other's company on Saturday night, and taking lunches to the homeless on Sunday. This past Sunday, Brent had the opportunity to dedicate a beautiful baby girl in our church, and afterward we enjoyed a great time with her family and their friends. Today that sweet baby had her adoption by this family finalized. It's such an incredible testimony of how God adopts us. We sat down with our small group on Tuesday night and just had an incredible time with this group of people who we love and who have become incredible friends and encouragers. God used them that night to really encourage us in so many ways. We love them. We are currently in the process of doing pre-marital counseling with an amazing couple who attends Kaleo, and we are loving the friendship we are building with them. And I love listening to Brent talk to them about marriage. We're both learning and growing in this process as well, and I realize more and more what an incredible husband I have!!! On Wednesday we met some friends for coffee and closed the place down laughing and sharing life with them. They are at a HUGE crossroads in their life and wanted to bounce some stuff off of us. We were able to share our story of how we ended up here . . . the good and the bad and in the process, remind ourselves of how GREAT our God is. Things may not go our way, but He is sovereign and He works things out for good according to His plan. We are so privileged to be a part of that plan. We were able to laugh with them and share the tough stuff with them and use our story to remind them that God has a plan for them. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what that is or when/how it should take place, but God will provide direction in His time. We have certainly learned that as we have walked the path that we have been walking. There are so many other great things. I could write and write a list of things that I could thank God for right now, things He just did or showed us in the past week even.

In addition to all this greatness, we have our kids. What a blessing they are!!! It makes me want to cry as I think about this. They can be frustrating and they need discipline and correction . . . sometimes a lot, but they are amazing, and their hearts are turned toward Jesus, and I am thankful. As we have dealt with all this stuff with James, there have been a couple things that have stood out in my mind. We were to have a CT Scan one day a couple weeks ago. I took James down to the radiology place. He was a little anxious as this test was to rule out a tumor, which his pediatrician mentioned in front of him, so he was a little worried. It ended up being a HUGE mess. I was expecting to pay them my normal co-pay, but they wanted half of the total cost of the CT. We did not have the money for that so they would not do the CT. I was initially in total shock, but ultimately asked to speak to someone in the billing department thinking there had to be some way to set up a payment plan. Even after talking to all of them, they would not budge. We had to write a check for half of the total cost or he could not be seen. I did not even have a credit card, so there was nothing that could be done. In this whole process I had gotten pretty upset and was crying a lot. James put his arm around me and had to remind me that it would be okay and that God was in control. Even in his anxiety, that was clear to him. It wasn't so much to me. We went to the neurologist a couple days later. He asked if we had gotten the CT scan. When Brent said no, he said he was glad because really James needed an MRI. We would have paid all that money for nothing. God was totally in control. It was that morning that the neurologist said he was pretty sure James had epilepsy. When the appointment was over, I asked him how he was doing and what he thought about what the doctor said. His response was simply, "I'm fine. We knew something was wrong. We might as well have a name for it." He was so calm and collected, and that has pretty much been the case today as well. I so appreciate his faith. I have not heard a complaint out of his mouth about any of this.

In the midst of al of this, God has crossed our paths with many people experiencing much greater difficulty than us and some of them do not have faith in a God who loves them and who they can trust. I have had many moments of reminding myself to keep perspective!! We would greatly appreciate your prayers as we continue walking down this road with James and just the road God has us on in general. Pray that we would remember to "count it all joy!"

James . . . 16

2011-02-14T21:21:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday James turned 16. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I remember crying the night before his 8th birthday because we were half way to 16 . . . that also seems like yesterday. And here we are four days past his 16th birthday. He's going to be 32 before I know it (okay, that's a little extreme, but you get the point)! It's so hard to believe that time has passed so quickly.

I must say, however, that I like 16 so much better than 13!!! James is growing up to be such a great guy, and I am so proud of him. I know church planting and attending a small church has been tough on him. We don't really have a youth group or a leader who really invests in him. Brent and I have pretty much been the only people locally who have done that. My greatest sense of loss when we left was what James was losing by not having Jeff Berg as his youth leader and not having his amazing group of friends in his youth group. That was a tremendous loss for him, but there was HUGE gain in that loss, for us as his parents, for him as a son and for him as a friend and evangelist. We have watched as he has reached out to friends, inviting them to hang out at our house, hear about Jesus, hopefully see Jesus in us and James, and have little seeds of truth planted in them. We have watched as he hurts some through not having a lot of friends (which, by the way, is terribly hard for a mother and father), but has a few very close friends here and a couple very close friends in Bartlesville, who have remained true, even across the miles. James is a loyal friend, which makes me happy. When he took his 8th grade trip to Magic Mountain, his closest friend did not want to ride roller coasters. James, who loves roller coasters, sat out to hang with Jake. It almost made me cry at the time. I don't think I would have made the right decision at that time in my life.

As I think back on his life, I just smile. We were so young when he was born. I'm so glad that God chose us to raise him. I'm not always sure why He thought that was a good idea, but I'm thankful that we follow His plans and not our own. I remember holding him for the first time. I remember looking into his perfect (yet imperfect) face and being so thankful that God gave him to us. He was beautiful. I remember releasing him to the anesthesiologist on the morning of his first cleft surgery. I remember how anxiety provoking that was and yet how God filled us with peace as we waited for the results in the waiting room. I remember when he first walked while we were at Brent's parents' house. I remember how much he talked from what seemed like day one. We used to listen to him talk to himself until late into the night. He had all sorts of imaginary friends and he would tell them stories, sometimes even until 1 in the morning. Sometimes he would fall asleep, then wake up in the middle of the night to talk some more. Our room in that house touched his room. We could hear him from our bed, and it made us laugh and laugh.

James has never had a good grasp of his age. He has always interacted with adults in such a way that made you wonder if he really got that he was a kid. Sometimes it has been a fun thing to watch; sometimes it has caused me to cringe. One time we were sitting at dinner at Grace Community Church with a friend, Mark. Mark is a great man, but a bit intimidating to most people, at least I think so, definitely intimidating to me on some level, though I think he's great. Mark was teasing James and having fun with him. James was in early grade school. He looked up at Mark and said, "You want a piece of me?" I didn't know whether to laugh or scold him. It was hilarious on the one hand, but on the other, it was quite obvious that he was not recognizing the generational gap. That's how he has always been with adults. It's not usually intended to be disrespectful. It definitely wasn't in that case. He was just trying to be funny in response to Mark's teasing. I don't remember anymore what I did. I wonder if Mark does?

We reminisced tonight with friends about how he used to say, "If I live to be ten . . . " and follow that with something. It used to freak us out, and we were so glad when he did turn ten, but he never understood why we found it so strange. He used to say, "I want to be with God." He had no fear and such a sweet, simple faith. That has not changed really. I remember how amazed Brent and I were, when he was young, of his understanding of Scripture. His teachers used to say that to us as well. I remember having to call Brent on the phone at night when he was at work because once again James was asking a question about the Bible that I could not explain. I remember one Family Sunday in church at Grace when Rod was closing with a question for us to contemplate, and James yelled out (yes yelled) the answer. I was just so thankful that he had the right answer. He was only six or seven, but he "got" it.

I remember so many funny things he used to say and do, and I remember his raspy little voice. I miss it!!! I remember all of my later pregnancies and how excited he was when we told him a baby was coming. He always wanted a girl. I remember the day we found out Sarah was a girl and going up to American Christian School, pulling the boys (James and Jason) out of class to tell them. The look on his face was priceless. Recently he asked me if we were going to adopt a baby. In his youthful mind, it only makes sense that we would. After all, I'm a social worker and I see children all the time who need homes. We talked about it a bit because I don't necessarily think we will (I never rule anything out anymore . . . not since I said we would NEVER move to California). In the conversation he said that if we were going to adopt a baby he needs to know so he can stay close to home when he graduates. He doesn't want a sibling who he doesn't know. Again, I had tears. I am so grateful for his priorities. I know being the oldest is tough (I am the oldest). I watch him with his brothers and sister and sometimes he gets frustrated and is bothered by them, but he loves them and wants to be a part of their lives. I am so thankful for that.

I think of the sweet notes he has written me over the years, expressing his love and appreciation. I hope that continues for years to come. The notes melt my heart. He does the same for Brent and for Jason, David and Sarah. It's so incredible! I could go on and on about him. But the bottom line is that I am so thankful that God gave him to us. He is such a treasure, such a blessing, and I am so excited to continue to watch him grow into the man God wants him to be. I could go on and on about my sweet young man. We certainly enjoyed celebrating his birthday. He wanted Brent and I to have a cook-off, each of us making a separate four course meal and him determining which was better. We both think he just wanted the extra food. We didn't do that, but we did cook some of his favorite things: filet mignon, twice baked potatoes, a salad, bread and chocolate creme pie for dessert. He was pretty happy! We spent the evening enjoying him and being thankful for his life.

A New Theme

2011-01-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

In the Christmas/New Years letter that I never sent, I was going to mention how we were glad it was a New Year with a clean slate that we hoped would not include anymore trips to the ER, Urgent Care or Hospital. Well, as usual I was late getting it done, and no longer can I say that I hope 2011 will not include such emergencies/inconveniences.

Yesterday, while playing with some friends, sliding down hills on cardboard boxes, David decided he could get momentum by jumping. I saw him doing it once and as I was saying, "You need to stop before you break your tailbone," he jumped again and got a spiral fracture in his right lower leg. We were approximately an hour out of town (an hour and a half when a child's leg is broken because of how slow Brent had to drive down the dirt roads). David was in excruciating pain. Initially, I wasn't sure if he was exaggerating some, but he wasn't calming down much at all. After the x-rays were taken, and we were given a diagnosis (along with a discussion from the doctor about how these kind of fractures are the most painful), I knew the pain was very much as he was reacting to it.

It was a horrible situation in so many ways. In addition to the pain, it's always much worse to have an accident happen on someone else's property. I felt horrible for them because they felt so bad that it happened. I can relate because we had friends here just about 11 months ago and Jake fell out of Jason's bed and broke his wrist. It just feels rotten, so I could relate to how they were feeling. In addition to that, these friends (whose house we were at yesterday) lost a friend to a heart attack last night after David's injury.

To be very raw, I was really down yesterday. I'm tired of having all these emergencies. Starting last May, we have been to the emergency room/Urgent care eight times for injuries, and in addition, James had cleft lip repair surgery. That coming to a head with a spiral fracture does not look good. Let's face it, I have investigated child abuse for many years, it's suspicious. There are emotions surrounding that. There are emotions surrounding the fact that it's hard to care for injured kids in many different ways. Quick example, it hurts David to move, so he doesn't want to go to the bathroom. I just walked into the other room to check on him and there was a funny odor. He had tinkled in Sarah's apple juice cup to avoid having to get up. He made a minimal mess, but anyone could have picked that up and taken a drink. I think that may be laughable in a couple days, but not right now. There are emotions surrounding the fact that I am physically and emotionally tired. There are emotions around the fact that I have to watch my child hurt like he does without being able to take away the pain. The list goes on and on.

However, I am having to remind myself and needing to receive reminders from Brent. This is not so bad. There are people out there whose lives are forever changing because of different things . . . someone being diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening illness, someone dying suddenly of a heart attack, someone's marriage falling apart. I have seen so much pain in the lives of others. My situation is an inconvenience for sure, but it is not going to change the whole course of our lives. I write this as a reminder to myself when I am feeling overwhelmed or burdened.

In the midst of all of this, David has sweetly and unintentionally reminded me and turned my eyes toward the fact that Scripture says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord . . . " A week or so ago, David and I were at Target shopping with his Christmas money. We ran into his teacher. It's always fun for kids to see their teachers out in public, at least when they like their teachers. Anyway, as we were walking away, David said, "I didn't know we were going to see my teacher . . . but God did. He knows everything." Again yesterday, in not such a happy tone, David said, "Why did this happen? Why did I jump? God knew this was going to happen." While he was upset, it took me back to the conversation in Target. What a difference in the way it was said but what truth. God knows the good and the bad, and He has a plan for it all. It made for a good quick conversation about God's plans with David yesterday.

I don't know why it's necessary for us to experience so many visits to the doctor. I don't know why our friends had to experience two difficult situations yesterday. I don't know why marriages end and children and adults have to live with that for the rest of their lives. I don't know why people are diagnosed with cancer. And while I think sin plays a role in some of these things, and God is sad about many of them and sad about the choices we make often, I also know sometimes what happens is out of our control and something God allows for some purpose in our lives. Sometimes we see the purpose right away; sometimes we don't. It's tough; it's a battle out there. Right now I just want to drown in self-pity, but then what Glory would God get? My purpose is to live a life that glorifies God. So, I continue to pray that I will do so. If you are reading this, please pray these "inconveniences" won't get the best of me. Yesterday I felt it might.

Here's my sweet boy at the end of the day yesterday.

A Textversation With My Oldest Child

2010-10-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

James: If you bring me a Chipotle Burrito on your way from work, I will be full of happiness and my life will be further in debt to you!

Me: Debt is sinful and I am not supporting a life of sin!

James: Ummm, does that mean I no longer owe you 15 bucks?

Me: Oh no, you got yourself into that. I'm just helping you prevent further debt.

James: You can't fight fire with fire, Mom.

Me: I don't need to. I'm mom, so I win.

James: So no burrito then :( Well, I love you anyway.

Me: I love you too!

Blessed

2010-09-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

Today a friend who I sadly haven't seen in a bit asked me if I have seen anything that has helped me to understand why the month of June played out the way it did. Has God revealed anything to me, she was wondering. It's interesting because looking back on June, it just doesn't seem like it was that BIG of a deal. Our trips to the ER and Urgent Care were inconvenient for sure, as was a casted foot. And those trips were expensive also, but our money is from God, so I have to rest in that (even though it is hard at times). But really it was not so bad. However, I spent some time as I drove home today thinking about it because hopefully I can gain or learn something from the "inconveniences" in my life. This is what I came up with.

WE ARE SO BLESSED!!!!!!

My family is all together, serving God together. Everyone is healthy for the most part. I am thankful that David's scare with his heart is something I can look back on and laugh . . . because it was heartburn!!! I am thankful that his concussion was mild. I am thankful that Sarah's break was straight and that it fully repaired and she is running and jumping and back in gymnastics and just doing well. I am thankful that Brent's back is feeling better and that he is up and about and being more conscientious about what he is doing and lifting (still a little bummed that he can't run with me, though). I am thankful that I had a silly migraine and not a stroke or a seizure. We are in good health. We have great friends. We have good jobs. God is an amazing provider. I could go on and on.

I think part of this thankfulness, besides the question being asked of me, is the result of my week . . . both good and bad. Wednesday was probably the worst and most stressful day of my entire social work career. I can't express the helplessness and hopelessness I felt in a situation that I was dealing with. I thought I might leave the situation and quit my career forever. I regained some sense later. However, in the midst of those hopeless and helpless feelings, while I was completely alone with only a voice behind a closed door and a voice on the other end of the phone, all I could do was pray . . . pray for God to protect and provide comfort, peace and hope in a situation that was anything but that. As Wednesday came to an end, I was emotionally and physically exhausted and fell asleep very early, only to have terrible dreams through the night. I spent Thursday continuing to deal with the events of Wednesday and just praying for the person I was trying to help and for my own peace because I was really struggling with what had taken place. I still am on some level.

Then today, which was a tremendously amazing day, we served a group of homeless people by taking a nice meal out to them, along with some toiletry items. At the last minute, we had a friend over for the boys to hang out with so that his mom could get some work done. Then we had our Community Group Worship service in conjunction with Downtown Christian Fellowship tonight. I ended up watching the kids, which I was bummed about initially, but even that turned out to be a blessing.

As I was driving home after lunch, contemplating the question about what God revealed to me after June, it was so clear to me that I am just so blessed. My husband loves Jesus with all his heart and wants so much to grow and to help others grow in their love for God and others. My children are equally the same. I watched as James struck up a conversation with one of the women at the park today. She had a severe cleft, which had obviously not been properly repaired, and while I do not think she was actually homeless, she has very little and was obviously delayed. Yet, James was able to draw her in with that commonality between the two of them. It brought tears to my eyes. I watched as he and Jason reached out to the younger kids in our group, playing whiffle ball with them and watching over them as we were around people who could not necessarily be trusted. I listened as James told his friend, who he invited to join us in our adventure with the homeless, why he enjoys serving so much and how he was so judgmental before we lived here and he had this exposure. I listened to David tonight as he expressed how he loves Jesus and prayed that Jesus would live in his heart and how he wants to follow Him and obey Him. And I was able to giggle as Sarah exclaimed that she doesn't want to be baptized because she "still can't breathe under water."

God may have other purposes for all of our medical emergencies in June, but maybe it was as simple as just causing me to contemplate on the question and realize how blessed we are!!!! I love my family! Tonight I am just really content with where we are. I love that God gave us an opportunity to hear tonight how he is using people in our Kaleo community to reach others and to love others. It's always nice when you can really see God at work and when you can be encouraged. It's at those moments that I want to say, "God is Good." But the truth is that God is Good all the time, even when it might not feel like it, even when I am feeling helpless, even when He seems so far away, even when my kids are driving me crazy and not displaying the behaviors evident of God being the Lord of their lives. The "evens" could go on and on, but you get the picture.

As I sit here tonight, I have some dear friends going through some serious trials . . . I am aching for them. But those aches keep me praying for them, too. I know I will have trials to experience in the future . . . And yet I know that I serve an awesome God who loves me and knows what is best for my life, even if what is best is not fun. And even in those moments of trial, I am truly blessed!!!

Sarah + A Hard Lesson = A Really Funny Story

2010-09-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Sarah was outside with our neighbor, who is seven, playing in the front yard. James was out there, too, keeping an eye on her. However, I'm not sure his eyes were open!!! I heard an ambulance outside in the distance. Then I heard Sarah running into the house crying (very hard). She sounded fearful and I realized she was telling Japan (that's the neighbor girl's name) that they were coming to get her. I heard Japan tell her that it was just an ambulance. I ran to see what was going on, and Sarah was frantic, hardly understandable. I came to understand after a couple minutes, that she was in the yard two houses down and was picking flowers from their flower beds. She heard the ambulance and thought the police were coming to get her for stealing. I tried to calm her down, but she was so upset that I ended up laying her in her bed until she could listen and talk. I felt terrible that she was so upset, yet I was kind of glad that she realized what she was doing was wrong and that it scared her. I think this will probably cure her from picking flowers, at least flowers that aren't in our yard. We all got a good laugh out of it (well, all of us except Sarah) . . . but I also felt pretty sorry for her. I took her down later to apologize, but no one was home. We will have to try again.

Neighborhood Birthdays

2010-09-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

We are surrounded by such diversity in our neighborhood, and we have gotten a much greater glimpse of this over the past three weekends. Three of our neighbors' children (three different homes) had birthday parties. We have celebrated with a family from here, a family from Mexico and other parts of California, and a family from Jordan all in three weeks. It's been fun and interesting!

First a little about our small cul-de-sac. 11 houses on our little circle. Going clockwise, the families are hispanic and caucasian, hispanic, asian, hispanic, caucasian, caucasian, caucasian, african american, caucasian, jordanian and swedish, and hispanic. With the exception of a couple of the houses, we are all pretty well connected. Of the 11 houses, eight have children of various ages, so our kids are in school together. Most of the time you pull into our cul-de-sac, there is a basketball game going on between all of the teen boys and bicycle/scooter riding by the smaller children (that or riding in those large power wheel cars). Two of the homes are multi-generational. Two of the houses are owned by the same man, and his parents live in the second house (almost multi-generational). It's really a pretty fun place to live with lots of activity.

Over the past three weekends we have had birthday parties. The first was for Alyssa, who turned three. Her parents are from Bakersfield (I'm pretty sure born and raised here). I actually missed Alyssa's party because I was off in Palm Springs with my grandma, aunt and cousins. Brent and the kids went to it. The next week was for Kylee, who turned 2. She lives with her parents and maternal grandparents. They are hispanic, and they know how to throw a fiesta!!! The party was last Sunday. It started at 4. I told my friend Marcy that I was going to the party but would be home by the time she arrived at my house at about 6:30 to drop off her son, but if I happened to not be there, she could text me, I would be across the street. The point is that I really thought I would be home. I was so wrong. We had barely started eating, and there hadn't been a thought about opening gifts at that time. I finally left at about 8, but they hadn't begun winding down!!! The food was delicious . . . Mexican food with Carnitas and Carne Asada . . . muy delicioso!!!!! Tonight was Amir's 4th birthday and his brother, Ali's 17th birthday. They are our Jordanian friends, who live directly next door to us. Again, I'm having to adjust to parties that are not "American". The party started at 5. I finally told them I just had to leave to get the kids in bed because of school. That was after 8:30, and they were just beginning to open gifts. I had never been in their home before. It was interesting. Lots of interesting stuff on the wall. One of their friends was there. He just returned from Jordan and was sharing with us all about his trip and the different things he saw that he took for granted as a child. I never was certain, but he almost sounded like he might be a Christian. I need to ask Brent more about his conversation because I missed a lot of it. This family is interesting in that they are not your traditional middle eastern family who had arranged marriages. The mother is divorced from her first husband, who she met and married in Sweden, so even though her kids have dark brown eyes and dark brown hair and look middle eastern, they say they are Swedish, and they are because they were all born there. The mother met her current husband over the internet (both are originally from Jordan). After they met online, he went to Jordan, met and married her, and she returned to Bakersfield to live with him. They have since had their son Amir. Like I said not a traditional middle eastern situation. She cooked lots of interesting food for the party. There was this rice stuff wrapped in grape leaves . . . it was sour. Then there was some kind of meat with potatoes, but the seasoning was like nothing I had ever tasted before. She made some desserts that were very light in flavor. One was a cookie; the other some kind of custard or flan. I don't know if these were foods from Jordan or from Sweden. I forgot to ask, but last weekend, the daughter, Nadias, said they normally cook swedish foods.

It's really fun to have such diversity around us. There is so much to learn from other people. There were things that took me out of my comfort zone a little, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And as we allow others to share their culture with us, we are invited more and more to share out culture with them, and thus share Jesus. I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds!!!!!

Epilepsy

2010-09-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

I can't recall if I have ever blogged about my epilepsy before, and I'm not going back through all my post titles, so this may be a partial duplicate entry . . .

When I was 17 years old, I suffered a grand mal seizure at church camp. I had been water skiing that afternoon and had a significant fall, hitting my head pretty hard on the water (which may seem kind of silly, but you can really hit water painfully hard). For years I never said anything about that to doctors because it seemed so silly, but just after that, I got in a car to go back to camp and dozed off only to be woken multiple times from startle reflexes. After we got back to camp, I had a seizure. Within a couple months I underwent a bunch of tests, had another seizure, was diagnosed with epilepsy and started on medication.

The first medication was tegretol, and the effect that had on me was terrible. There is about a month of my senior year of high school that I pretty much do not remember (and it's not due to age . . . I couldn't remember it at the time either!!!) I was then put on phenobarbitol and responded much more positively to that. It's hard for me to remember the exact number of seizures I've had in my life, but it has been very minimal and for that I am very thankful. I know I had one or two in college, several right after Brent and I were married (when I was not taking medication with doctor's permission) and another the day after James turned four. That was the last one, but also the worst one . . . lasting the longest and having the longest impact on me. Brent and I were at a marriage conference at our church that weekend. It was pretty much pointless for me to have attended. I cannot remember anything about it. I just felt groggy and out of it the whole time. That was almost 12 years ago now. Thank the Lord!!!

I really have nothing to complain about and I am really thankful for God's protection of me over all of these years. I had four babies and during the last three pregnancies I was off the medication for 16 weeks without a single problem. So I was shocked when I left my neurologist today with my eyes filled with tears. It should not be a big deal, and I'm sorry if there are others who have ongoing seizures who read this, but somewhere deep inside I have always thought that one day I might be able to be medication free. It's been 12 years now since my last seizure; 20 years since I started taking medication. But I'm pretty sure that without saying it directly, my neurologist confirmed that unless I ever live in New York City or someplace else with great public transportation, she will not recommend I discontinue medication. I went into the appointment knowing that she is conservative and concerned about my safety and the safety of others (regarding my driving if not on medication), but I held onto a glimmer of hope that she would say something like lets do one more MRI, and see what it looks like. Instead, she said she doesn't see any reason to do an MRI. There's nothing about it that would change her opinion. I really like her and respect her, and deep inside I feel like she is right. I would hate to be driving and hurt someone else because I had a seizure behind the wheel.

I don't know what it is about being on medication that is so bothersome to me. It really shouldn't be a big deal at all, but it definitely affected me today. I am on a new medication now, Keppra. I don't notice any side effects from it, but compared to phenobarbitol, it is a bit costly. I can think of a lot better things to do with the money each month, but I don't think that is what makes it so hard. I simply think it is the fact that I HAVE to take it. It's a little ridiculous. I am praying that I can let go of that and focus on the positives, the fact that I am overall healthy and that I am able to live independently and work. Many people who suffer from seizures cannot say the same. Their seizures have truly changed their lives, causing brain damage or emotional damage because they cannot cope with having them. Sadly, seizures can cause embarrassment to some people because of what they cause the body to do and because of the fear others have of seeing them.

I believe that as much as I do not like the news I got today, God must have some purpose, so I pray that I will be open and attentive to be used by Him in whatever way He wants to use me . . . in regards to my epilepsy and every other aspect of my life!

Wondering

2010-08-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

I have been looking on craigslist lately at job opportunities. In case anyone from work reads this, not because I want to quit my job, but just trying to figure out if there is a way to work a few extra hours here and there in order to pay for all the many new expenses we are encountering with older children. Looks like all four kids are going to need braces. James's costs $5200.00 alone, and that is scaring me with the rest. Things could change, obviously, but Jason's mouth looks crowded. David's bite is off, and Sarah has been sucking her thumb for over five years now. The odds are in favor of braces. And then there's driver's ed and extra car insurance when James starts driving, which is around the corner, six months from tomorrow he will be sixteen. And then Jason will start in a few years, and there is college and athletics . . . you know, just stuff . . . lots of stuff!!!

By far the most "interesting" (for lack of another term) jobs I have seen posted are to become surrogate mothers or to donate eggs. I don't know if those posts are on Craigslist in Oklahoma, but they are certainly on there in CA. On top of that, shortly after we moved here, I met a nice woman who in passing mentioned that she had been a surrogate two or three times. I must have looked shocked because she went on to talk more about it, and it was interesting. The only time I heard of being a surrogate before that was in movies or in the tabloids. I guess I knew it was a real thing, but I had never thought about meeting someone who had actually done it. I think for some reason, I thought it was morally and ethically wrong, but as I talked to this woman, I learned that she was a Believer. She has great relationships with the mothers of the children and maintains some contact with at least one of the children, and the child has none of her genetic make-up. They used the biological mother's egg and biological father's sperm and implanted them into her. She was basically just the nest.

I walked away from that conversation with lots of thoughts and questions and not really sure what I thought about it. Just so you know, I was not and am not contemplating this for myself. I am certain that I could not do it (for a variety of reason . . . sadly one of them is that I am too old now!!!), but I have continued to contemplate whether or not I think it is "right". Scripturally, I don't think you can take a stance against it, unless you say that it is not the way God created things to be. But when you start with that, then there are a lot of things we do that go against the way God created them. You could take it to extreme and say God created me with a seizure disorder, so I shouldn't take medication, but I think we all probably agree that God created doctors and provided them with what they need to come up with ways to make my life livable. And I am so grateful for that!!!

But still, there is something unsettling about it to me. I'm not sure what. I am so curious what other people think. Personally I would have a really hard time donating an egg and knowing that there was someone that "belonged" to me out there, but many people give their babies up for adoption because of how much they love them, and I totally respect those women. I would have a hard time being a surrogate to another person's baby because I think it would be very difficult on my children. They get attached to babies in utero just like parents do. It would be a devastating loss for them. Not to mention, I don't know how I would part with the baby either. The other thing is that I am shocked at what they pay people to be a surrogate. Obviously they should pay medical expenses, and I guess there is wear and tear on the mother's body, but to me this seems like one of those things that if I was willing to do it, I would want to do it to be a blessing to someone who could not carry a child. If I am doing something for that reason, do I really want to be paid for it?

So, I'm just putting this out there, curious about what thoughts people have. It's one of those things I may never have thought of before moving to California. And who knows, maybe its not as uncommon in the Mid-West as I think.

Vacation

2010-08-03T21:15:00.001-07:00

I have a ton of pictures!!! They should tell the story of our fabulous week!!! It was truly amazing!!!

This is a picture of Morro Bay and Morro Rock off taken from the back of the house, outside of one of the many doors. Locking up at night was a lot different than locking any house I have ever lived in. There were at least 10 doors to the outside. That was Brent's job at the end of the night.

This is a picture taken at sunset out of the large windows on the back of the house . . . BEAUTIFUL!!!

This was a two mile hike we went on to the top of Mt. Valencia, 1367 feet, I think. Sarah hiked almost the whole way up . . . pretty impressive for such a small person. She was being so independent, it was scaring me at times.

Jason enjoyed walking with the young men and shooting photos!!! He loves the camera.

Here we are at about the half way point. It was bright, so we are all squinty, except for James, who is sporting those ridiculous looking aviator glasses. I have been enjoying teasing him about this fad!!!

The boys with Grandma Casselberry!!!

David made it up and back and didn't skip a beat . . . not shocking, though!!!

Brent and two of his boys, near the top!

"I MADE IT!!!"

Here we are!!! The whole group!!! The clouds moved in and it was very foggy. It was fun to explain to David and Sarah that we were actually "in" a cloud. It was nice and cool though, so we were grateful!!! Between the clouds and the ocean breezes, I think it was probably the most enjoyable hike I have ever been on . . .

. . . even on the way down, when Sarah was done walking. She went down most of the way on my shoulders. I didn't want Brent to carry her because of his back, and I didn't want anyone else to because I'm a mom, and there were parts that were very steep. I would have been a nervous wreck if someone else had been carrying her.

There was much exhaustion when we were finished. I love this picture!!!

One day Brent and I and Caroline took the kids into Morro Bay for several hours while all the young adults stayed at the house and chilled or worked. Caroline didn't stay long enough to ride the electric boat with us. We went all around the bay and out to the big rock. We saw seals and otters. And Jason was correct, we also saw jelly fish, large orange ones. Brent and I were not convinced that was what they were, but the guy back at the dock said they were in deed. Glad I wasn't swimming there!

This was my favorite activity . . . kayaking. Brent and I went a year ago and have wanted to take the older boys ever since. Brent wasn't able to go because of his back, so he stayed at home with David and Sarah. I was bummed that we didn't see all the sea life that Brent and I saw last year. Last year we saw dolphins and seals all over the place the whole time we were in the water. This time, we finally found seals the last 20 minutes or so that we were out. We had to go way out to see them, and we still didn't get as close as I hoped, but I was glad we saw something. Katie, Ryan, Becky and Adam didn't follow us out, but they were able to see a seal on the way back into shore. The other thing that was different from last year is that our (mine and Jason's and James's and Caroline's) kayaks tipped on our way into shore. A big wave caught us, and I thought James and Caroline were going to go on top of us. James and Caroline corrected and turned sideways, causing them to flip, and I lost control when I was turning to see if they were going to hit us. At least that's what I think happened. Jason was pretty scared, but we didn't get hurt at all, so I was thankful. Katie did get hit by one of the boats as she was trying to keep the waves from taking it back out to sea, but she was okay, especially compared to the group that came in behind us. The young lady in that group was bleeding like crazy!! I was thankful God protected us!!!

These are just some fun pictures hanging around the house!! I love the picture of Katie and Sarah, even though it is a little blurry.

We went to the beach one day with the Casselberry's, but I don't have any great pictures of that because it was so cold. On our last day, before returning home, we stopped again and flew a kite. The kids decided in the end to get in the water. David was soaked almost immediately before he got in his swimming suit. James followed with the boogie board. Jason used the skim board. I love the picture we caught of him with it still above the water. Sarah got into the water more than she ever has, but I didn't get any good pictures of her. David jumped into a game of volleyball with some older teens/young adults. I posted a picture on facebook. It was hilarious!

The whole week was just such an incredible blessing. We enjoyed our time as a family. We enjoyed our time with the Casselberry's and Mitchell's. It was great to get to know Adam a little more. We missed Johnny so much!!! And we were super bummed not to have some time with Meagan, Ryan's bride-to-be. We got to spend some time with Zach Weichbrodt as a bonus. We enjoyed sharing our lives, how God is working in each of us, the challenges we are experiencing, prayer needs that we have. We were surrounded by such amazing beauty that only God could have created: the ocean, mountains, plants, animals. We ate amazing food. We worked together cooking and cleaning. We walked and swam and relaxed in the hot tub. We just shared life!!! It was incredible!!!

A Terrific Day

2010-07-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those really great days!

We got up this morning, and I took James to the orthodontist, which was uneventful, but I had a few minutes of time with James, which is always nice.

I went home to get Sarah and take her to the foot doctor, where we were hoping she would get her cast removed, but I was fearful that it would not happen and we would end up at the beach on vacation next week with a daughter in a cast . . . that would really stink. But we were excited to find out that her foot was mostly healed, enough to remove the cast. It was such an exciting moment. I wish I could have caught her on video. She was giddy with excitement, squealing, "I'm healed, Mom. I'm healed!" Super sweet.

Brent met us at the doctor, but then he headed off to lunch and I took Sarah to find a pair of sandals that had a little more support than flip flops!! And we stopped for lunch together.

I went into work late, not until about 12, and Brent picked Sarah up from me. I had a couple great visits with foster children and a good visit with a couple foster families.

Brent took Sarah home and in the mail was our camera. It has been in Florida since April. We left it there, and it has been one LONG process getting it back. We were so glad to get it back before our vacation. Brent scrubbed Sarah's not so fresh leg and she got a nap. After that she and David went to spend the night with some friends and Brent and James and Jason met me at a barbecue for the former foster youth that we work with a Covenant. It was fun to hang out with these young adults and with my coworkers. None of the participants I work with actually were there, but I am excited to say five of them were missing because of work. I can't tell you how exciting it is that they are all working!! Of the other three, one has a job but that is not why she wasn't there tonight. I was thrilled to realize that of the 8 young ladies I work with, all but two have jobs!!!

After the barbecue, Brent and I took James and Jason to Dewar's for some ice cream. We so rarely have time with just the older two boys, and it was great to sit with them and not have little ones around interrupting. When we got home, Jason and I went out for a run. He actually rode the scooter while I ran, and though I was huffing and puffing, I still enjoyed his company. He talked and I answered with very quick answers because that's all I could get out, but I enjoyed listening to him or just being silent with him. It was precious time.

It's the simple things, nothing particularly special happened today, but it was just all in all a great day!!! I had a little bit of alone time with all my kids, except David. I can't say that too often. And I had alone time with David Saturday and again Tuesday. And as I wind down this week, I am eagerly anticipating a fun Community Group Sunday morning with Pancakes and people we love, followed by a vacation with even more people we love. I can't wait for our week away with the Casselberry's. What fun it will be!

All I can say is Thank You God for the simple blessing of a great day!!! It was truly wonderful!!!

Visitors

2010-07-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

We've been blessed this summer with quite a few visitors, which has been nice since we didn't get to go back to Oklahoma this year. That's been hard, so we really appreciate the little blessings of God sending people our way!!!

At the end of May, my dad came to visit for a week. He got to hang out with all of us and go down to San Diego and surprise his mom with a visit as well. He spent a lot of time with the kids, taking them on bike rides and even taking the older two up to the Sequoias . . . they LOVED it!!! He looked a little for a job . . . it would be exciting if anything came to fruition. We are praying and waiting on God in that area.

Just after he left, Ann and Wes Rumph came. Wes is now in Santa Monica doing on internship. Our intention is to see him periodically, but with all our June medical emergencies, we haven't seen him since they were here on Father's Day. It has great to have time with them. Ann is such a great friend!!! She is one of my closest friends and mentors and we were in small group together for years and years. It was partially the challenges given by her husband that led Brent down the path of ministry. We enjoyed having Ann over for dinner. They were able to visit church and then we had lunch before they returned to Santa Monica.

Joel and Krista were here this last week. They are friends from Oklahoma . . . we were in small group together. Now they live in Costa Rica and are missionaries. They are a fabulous couple, and we just love them. They were such an encouragement to us in the 24 hours we had to spend with them, and hopefully we were a bit of an encouragement to them. We had a nice dinner at home last night. Then took them on a tour of Bakersfield . . . proving to them that Bakersfield is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I think Joel especially liked seeing the Kern River. They were able to join us for church this morning and jumped right in helping set up and tear down. Then we came home for leftovers. The older boys remember them well and were so excited to have them here. David remembered them once he saw them. I don't think Sarah could remember them, but she LOVED them . . . I'm afraid almost to death, or at least the point of being overwhelmed!!! Hopefully they will come back again!!! :)

Next week, a third family from Oklahoma will be meeting us at the coast for a week. Caroline and her husband, David, were also in our small group for years and years . . . and she is an adopted grandmother to my children. David was an amazing man. He died from a brain tumor in 2001. She has four grown children. Three of the four will be coming with her for the visit. It will be a tremendous week, and I should have lots to post about it afterward. I can't wait for the time with them.

The day after they leave, our friends the Fishers will arrive in LA. We will get to see Dalene and her mother, Esther, I'm sure, but the main thing we will be doing is picking up Steve and Dalene's oldest son, Spencer, who is James's best longest friend and bringing him up here with us for a while. I so look forward to the time the boys will have together. I wish all of the family could be up here with us, but they have some stuff going on down south, and Brent and I did get quality time with Steve and Dalene back in November. James is so, so excited!!! We've talked about doing this every summer but it just hasn't worked out.

Basically as soon as Spencer leaves, my mother will arrive. She will be here for about a week to hang out and so stay with the younger kids when we take James down for his second cleft lip surgery. I'm glad she will get to be here to see us and to be with the kids. She hasn't been here since we launched Kaleo; I am excited for her to meet our friends and to hear Brent teach.

As I type this, I realize even more that we had something incredible in our small group in Oklahoma. In 2010 alone, we have had the opportunity to see at least 2 members of four different families from that small group. We had such impacting (them impacting us) relationships with everyone in the group. It was such a diverse group . . . singles, couples, families with young children, families with older children, families with an empty next . . . we learned so much from each other, and though we had a lot of differences, we formed amazing bonds . . . friendships that will last our lifetime, I'm sure. It's very cool!!!

I hope the relationships we are building in our small group now will become the same. I love all these people as well, and while it's probably not as diverse, we have a lot of differences in other ways and still have a LOT to learn from each other. I'm glad God made us to be in relationships!!!

By the way, we LOVE visitors . . . come see us anytime!!!

Less Spiritual Thoughts While Running

2010-07-14T19:41:00.001-07:00

So, sometimes when I run, I think about very little, other than getting it over with. Here are some of the thoughts I had tonight when I was out running in the upper 90 degree weather (with slight humidity, though nothing my friends in Oklahoma or other parts of the country are experiencing).

1. Definitely run after the sun is setting or before it has fully risen, when the temperature is at least 15 degrees cooler.

2. Definitely run after dinner has had plenty of time to settle or before I eat breakfast.

3. Run far away from home because the first part of the run is easy, and when it gets hard, I am motivated to get home. Not good if I am just two blocks away.

4. I hate to fail, but even more I hate to fail in front of people; thus, run with someone!!! Even my children keep me going, not because they encourage me necessarily but because no way do I want them to see me quit!!!!

Shallow, I know, but true!!! I need to get in the shower!!!!!

Our Month in Review . . . A Bit Stressful

2010-06-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

This will either make you stressed or crack you up, one or the other. I know this pales in comparison to many people's lives . . . we are healthy and happy, but the sheer number of times we have been to the Emergency Room/Urgent Care this month is unbelievable, especially when you consider how many different people in one house have been there. I need to call my AFLAC agent, and currently I am thankful we have it!!

May ended and June began with major trauma. Brent's back has been terrible, and he finally gave up on it getting better on its own and saw the doctor the last week of May. The doctor gave him medicine, so we decided that I would take the kids to San Diego for Memorial Day by myself so he could stay home and lay flat in bed in hopes of his back getting better. That's usually what it takes . . . a couple days of rest and pain medicine/muscle relaxers. Then it's usually better for several months. Well, he did that, and our trip to San Diego was fun!!! We had a good drive, followed by enjoyable time with my family. I drove back on to our street at about 7:30 Monday night. I could tell there was something going on at our neighbors and people were scared. I told the older two boys to take the younger two kids into the house and to tell Brent that something was happening. I ran over to find that the grandmother in the home (who was probably about 80) was in the car but not breathing. She had an oxygen tank, but it didn't seem to be working. I know nothing about oxygen tanks. The young woman in the house (her granddaughter-in-law) was calling 911. Brent came outside. The 911 operator told us we needed to get her out of the car and flat on her back in the driveway. She was a larger lady and Brent should not have been lifting her, but you do what you have to do when someone seems to be dying in front of your eyes. So Brent and her grandson lifted her out of the car. Her grandson began trying to do CPR while we waited on the ambulance. I continued giving instructions and talking to the operator. It appeared to me that she had already passed away, but we continued on, praying the whole time. The firetrucks and ambulance arrived, along with many family members. They transported her to the hospital where she was pronounced dead about 20 minutes later. We've both experienced death before, but never so traumatically. It was a tough night.

The next day, I was at work and got a phone call from the school that David was in the office saying, "My heart is cracking," and he was crying. He doesn't usually cry. Brent was closer to the school, so he went to see what was up. I thought everything was probably fine. My first thought was that he must have gotten in a fight with Reese or Sophie and meant "broken" not "cracking." However, Brent got worried and called me when he was on his way to Urgent Care. Brent was in such pain and had Sarah who was still in her PJs because he had been laying down all morning. I met him at Urgent Care and he left with Sarah to go back and rest. I was a little bummed (embarressed) to have to stay and explain the situation to the doctor (because I really thought he was fine), but I did. Thankfully, the doctor decided it must have just been heart burn. I don't know that he's ever had heart burn, so he probably didn't know what was happening. I think Brent was a little shaken from the night before (and maybe not thinking real clearly with the medication) and just overreacted a bit. It was actually kind of funny!!! That was June 1st.

On Friday, Brent went back to Urgent Care and got more help for his back. He also saw a pain management doctor and started physical therapy. That was Urgent Care visit number 2 for our family this month.

About a week and a half later, on Wednesday the 16th, we left the kids at home for a little bit while Brent went for a meeting. I was at work. Jason called and David fell off the swing that hangs from his bed and hit the back of his head. He was crying, but it was not a long fall, and I could not imagine it was that bad. He bangs himself up a lot. Brent's meeting was close to over and he was closer to home, so he went to check on things. David was throwing up by that time and could barely stay awake, so I met them both at the emergency room by my office. David had a mild concussion, and they wanted to do a CT scan to make sure it wasn't worse. We were at the ER for about 4 hours (really not so bad, actually). When we got home, Sarah who was home with James and Jason, was on the couch with ice on her foot, crying. Jason was lying on his stomach on the exercise ball. She jumped on his back and the ball rolled. Somehow in all of this her foot got twisted and Jason was on her. Because she cries so easily, we thought it probably wasn't a big deal and we watched it but ended up putting her to bed. However, when she woke up in the morning, it was swollen and discolored, so off she went to Urgent Care. She now has a cast on her foot until July 15th because she has a broken bone inside her foot.

Seems like three Urgent Care visits and one ER visit should be enough for one family in one month, right???? Well, I guess not. Last night, I drove to pick Jason up from a friend. All of the sudden, my vision got really messed up and I wasn't sure I should continued to drive. I stopped and called Brent and took a break for a second. My vision straightened out, so I went ahead and drove the rest of the way home. When I got home, I had a headache and things felt a little foggy. I was kind of groggy. I told Brent it kind of felt the way I feel when I come out of a seizure, but I was certain I had not had a seizure. Generally I have grand mal seizures and there is no way I wouldn't have realized. I have had smaller ones, but I still think I would have known. We decided to call the nurse hotline. While I was on the phone with the nurse, my lips got numb, and the fingers on my left hand started tingling. By that point I was pretty freaked out. They sent us to Urgent Care, but Brent was not sure that was enough, so he called our friend, David Rumph in Oklahoma, to see if he recommended the ER instead. He told Brent that it sounded like classic signs of a migraine. That put me more at ease, and we went ahead and just went to Urgent Care. David sure is a good doctor . . . I highly recommend him!!!! He was right, even from hundreds of miles away. I had an ocular migraine. They treated me with morphine and reglan at Urgent Care then sent me on to have a CT scan, just to make sure. It was clear, and we came home. This time, while we were gone, we asked our neighbor to come over and hang out with the kids. She didn't stay the whole time, but long enough!!! I'm thankful for a neighbor we can call on like that.

Needless to say, I am not sad that June is coming to an end. My goal is to stay away from doctors for the next three days and then all of July. And to submit those claims to AfLAC so we can pay for the medical bills we have accrued. I'm choosing to laugh at this point. It was nice to see our friends Eric and Shannon this morning and get to laugh with them about it.

Please put Brent's back on your prayer list. He is in so much pain. It's hard and so frustrating for him because it limits what he can do. He had an MRI last week, and is waiting on a return call from his doctor to see when he can get in to see what's going on. We know he has two herniated discs in his lower back, but usually it feels better faster than this, so we are becoming more concerned that there could be something else. In all of this chaos, we know God is in control. We are still trying to figure out what He wants us to learn from all of it!!!!

Thoughts While Running

2010-06-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to run regularly. Brent and I started out doing a couch to 5K program. Since then, his doctor told him that because of his back condition, he can only walk briskly, but I am determined to complete the program . . . even if it kills me!!!! I don’t particularly love to run, but it has been good. I have been spending the time praying for people, particularly my family. In my prayer time, I have found myself asking and wondering what is truly important for my kids, particularly James and Jason, as they are getting older and their time at home is becoming shorter . . . Blah!!!

It’s been a tough year for James academically, particularly second semester. I say that only because school always seemed so easy for him, but it has gotten harder, and he has had more difficulty with it. A lot of it is because of his social life and possibly his priorities not being on the right things. I think because it always came so easily he has had to learn a hard lesson that sometimes it takes more work then you expect. But as I have been praying for him, for balance, for perseverance, for a good work ethic, I have also been thinking about how he has changed and how social he has become. This has not been a bad thing. He has a HUGE impact, or at least the opportunity to have a HUGE impact on his peers. If he was coming straight home every day and only doing homework, he would not have the friends he has or the opportunities he has to show them Jesus. Now, does that excuse poor work ethic? Of course not, the Bible says, “Do your work as unto the Lord.” This goes for students as well. But it has caused me to stop and think about things.

Parents can sometimes tend to focus on the wrong things. For some, it is athletic ability; for others, their child’s social life. For us, in the case of James, it has been his academic abilities and his potential. There is a difficult balance in this. Definitely there are great things that kids learn as a result of sports, social life, academics, drama, or any other extracurricular activities, and we, as parents, should encourage them in these areas. However, how often do we get too focused on these things, and forget the child’s heart. I don’t mean their salvation. I think most parents who love Jesus WANT their children to know Jesus, but I also think that after that decision is made, we sometimes become negligent of helping them grow in Christ, in helping their hearts develop to be like Jesus’s heart. How many times a week, how many hours a week, do we have our children practice sports or work on their multiplication tables or on their writing? How many hours a week do we have our children really seek to discern how the Lord is working on their hearts? For me, personally, it is a sad reality that the second is significantly less. I think, for some reason, that I just expected that after salvation, the rest would follow. There are many times in the day that I point my children toward Jesus, but how often is it truly intentional? How often do I really encourage them to seek to figure out how God is convicting them? Yet, I spend a lot of time reminding them to finish Geometry or spelling or whatever is on their plate.

I am now including in my running prayer time, that I will be a mom who focuses on the right things with my children. I want to encourage them in the areas where they excel, but what I want them to excel most at is being like Jesus. As their mom, as their greatest encourager, this needs to be my focus. All their abilities are temporary. They could be gone so quickly. I was no star athlete in high school. In fact, if any of my high school volleyball teammates read this, they might laugh at even the mention of it, but I was busy with other extracurricular activities, and I was very focused academically and made good grades. I also remember the day at church camp the summer between my junior and senior year when I had my first seizure, and I remember the day I was diagnosed with epilepsy and started on medication, and I remember how that changed my life, and how much it complicated things for the first few months. I struggled academically as I adjusted to new medication. I could not drive. I’m sure if I had been playing any sports at the time, I would not have been able to do it because I could barely get through a day of school from being so tired. There is about a month of my senior year that I really can’t remember because I was such a mess from the medication. The loss of abilities can happen so fast. They could be lost by an injury, an accident, health, anything. But what is in a child’s heart is there forever. Obviously, a person’s heart can go astray. But I believe the values that have been cultivated and grown, can be drawn out of them again. And if they have been cultivated well, it is probably less likely that they will go astray. I wrote in my status update on Facebook, Lord, help me raise my children to have hearts for YOU, and not get too focused on what they can and cannot do.

It’s hard . . . We made a decision this year not to allow David to compete in gymnastics. It was a HARD decision for me. He is a great little gymnast, and he loves it. It’s fun to watch him, and it’s fun for him (and for us, if I am to be honest) for him to get attention for his abilities. Brent had to remind me many times that we always said we would not let sports consume our children or our family when they were that young, if ever. It was still hard, and I know people in our lives who thought it was the wrong decision. I will say that we did not necessarily make the decision for the reasons I have written here, but I am glad that we made the decision now that I am pondering all of this. It is just too much for a child his age to go to school, do homework, practice like he was going to have to practice, and grow in his relationship with Jesus . . . and too much for the parents to be able to stay on top of. We would have neglected the cultivating of his heart, I am sure!

I’m sure I have friends out there who will read this and disagree with me. There are probably others who can, or think they can, do all of it. There are many people who balance better than we do, I know that to be a fact. That’s okay . . . I just feel convicted by it, and wanted to share. The important thing is that we focus on our children’s hearts, on helping them to have hearts like Jesus, who loved and served others.

A Glimpse of Jason's Heart

2010-06-06T18:27:00.001-07:00

Jason wrote this in school, and I am reprinting it with his permission. I just thought it was sweet. It will be fun to look back on one day.

"Thinking Ahead"

What will I be when I'm 23?
I will be finishing college and I will have a part time job as a photographer. The college may be Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I will live in a campus apartment, so I am closer to my classes. When I graduate, I want to have my master's degree. After I graduate, I will come back to California and work for my church.

What will I see when I'm 43?
I'll have a beautiful wife, three kids and two or three dogs. We'll live in Oklahoma, out in the country. We'll own seven to eight acres of land and a big house with a pool. My kids will be 15, 13, and 9.

What will I do when I'm 62?
I'll be close to retirement, but I will work for a church. I might even become a pastor. I will have grandchildren. I will live in the same house. My wife will be retired. I will want to have my grandchildren around a lot. My youngest child will still be in college. She may go to Oklahoma University.

If I'm Alive at 95 . . .
I may have great grandchildren. I will be retired but in shape and healthy. I will live in the city, and my wife will be with me. She'll be healthy. My grandchildren will be under the age of 50. My brothers and sister will still be alive.

Status Updates

2010-05-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be fun, for myself, to look back through my facebook status updates to see the funny little things my kids, particularly the younger two, have said over the last couple years. Brent’s grandmother has always told me I needed a little book to write down all the funny things. I never listened to her, but now I have a little record through FB. I decided I am putting it in my blog because it takes a long time to got back through status updates for the last 2 1/2 years.

I just picked David up from his first day of kindergarten. He said, "It was awesome! But I missed you mom!" That's the best evaluation I could have gotten!

When I was pregnant with Sarah, I wanted to name her Katie after Katie Casselberry and Katie Rumph (sorry to those of you who do not know these amazing young women!) because I wanted a daughter just like them. Today, I must say, she is not meeting those expectations!!!

The conversation in the other room: Brent, "You have to wear a shirt, Sarah." Sarah, "Dad, they're boxers." Brent, "You still have to wear a shirt. You don't see mom running around without a shirt on." Sarah, "But Dad, they're boxers." My poor daughter, growing up in a home with only brothers!

David told me tonight, "I want to go back to the old days." He's 6!!!

I think the internet and text messaging has ruined spelling for the current generation. As a mother, it's making me crazy!!!

Tonight David asked if we can see Jesus. I told him that when he was on earth, people saw him, but that was a long, long time before he (David) was born. He asked, "Did Grandma Mabel see him?" Grandma Mabel is 90. It's funny what a long, long time ago is to a six year old.

Sarah just came in and asked me to smell the stamp on her hand. I guess it is supposed to smell like candy canes. I told her it smelled like a dirty hand. She said, "You're not nice. You called me a trash can!!"

Brent and I went on a nice date tonight. This is what Sarah said when we got home, "I can't believe you went on a date without me, mom." James said, "That's the point!!!" I can tell who's growing up!!!

Sarah, standing in my closet looking at a dress I wore to Becky Casselberry's wedding, "Mom, when will you wear this dress again? Are you going to wear it to my wedding?" Me, "No, probably not (with a little snicker)." Sarah, "You're not going to come to my wedding?” Only she was almost in tears!

Apparently growing up with all boys is taking it's toll on Sarah. Just now she asked me, "When I get married, what will you name me?" I was trying to explain that her first name won't change but her last name will. I told her Colaw will change to the same last name as the boy. She responded, "Not a boy, no, not a boy. I don't want to marry a boy." Oh my!!! We have some teaching to do!!!

James cleaned the kitchen so nicely!!! Too bad he threw away our thawing dinner . . . even when I try to cook, something happens!

Tonight I was teasing my boys about growing mustaches when they grow up and Sarah said she wanted to grow one. I heard David tell her girls can't have mustaches. She immediately asked if this was true. When I told her yes, she began to cry!! OH MY!!!

Conversation with Sarah after coming home from Wendy's, which she requested: (Very Cranky Voice) Mom, why'd they give me fries? Me: Kid's meals come with fries. Sarah (still very cranky): I didn't want fries. Me: Okay, don't eat them. Sarah (normal voice): I want to eat them. I like the salt.” I am a girl, and I do not understand her!!!!

Sarah cracks me up!!! This morning I took her into her room to pick out clothes, which she helped me choose. A few minutes later she came into my room with a very cranky voice and said, "Mom, I look ridiculous! I look like David!!!" I have no idea why she said that. However, when I told her we could go choose something else, she refused. I can't imagine what things are going to be like when she is a teenager.

In effort to put things into perspective, God provided a situation that was much worse than the insurance thing. David did not come home from school today. His friend said he wasn't on the bus, but the school office said he wasn't there either. . .After a couple minutes of panic on our part, he walked into the school office. He missed his bus stop and was in deed on the bus, so the driver took him back to school.

If my son does not accept my friend request, I am deleting his whole facebook account!!!!

Just had to wake David up to get him OUT of the shower, and now he is telling me he is NOT tired and does NOT need to go to bed.

David just ran into my room saying, "This movie freaks me out!" He's watching Babe. Yes, the movie about the pig . . . not the best movie ever, but not one I would expect to freak him out either!!! Weird!

Made ribs for dinner tonight (a first, and they were pretty good)!!!! I was pulling the meat off the bone for Sarah. She asked, "Are those real bones?" Her response to my "yes" was, "Whose bones are they???"

Brent just corrected Sarah when she said, "Oh My God" by saying, "Sarah, we can't use 'God' as an explicative." I'm sure she totally gets it now!!!! Sometimes his father in him comes out big time. He says he used to have to go ask his mom to translate.

There are so many things wrong with this . . . keep in mind, David is terrible with names so he often has to describe people. David: "It's someone's birthday today." (Clearly, that's true, but I figured it must be someone he knows.) Me: "Whose?" David: "You know the one in my class who disobeys a lot . . . but sometimes he doesn't." (I guess he was giving him some grace? But also doesn't that describe almost everyone in his class???) Needless to say, I was no closer to figuring it out after that description.

Role playing in Sunday School about telling people about Jesus . . . David to Paul, "Do you know Jesus?" Paul, "No." David, "Jesus died on the cross for your sins and if you believe in Him, you can die on the cross also." Oooops!!! We all got a good laugh out of this one before he corrected himself!

I'm wondering what it says about me that anytime I am sweeping or vacuuming or any other type of cleaning, the kids ask, "Who's coming over tonight?"

Me: donde esta su padre? Sarah: if you speak Spanish, I'm going to say you don't have eyelashes. Me: WHAT????? Sarah: well, dora doesn't have any! I don't think that's the message the producers were trying to tell.

James is definitely taller than me now!!! I still have the psychological advantage, however!!! And he better not forget that!

I learned a couple things through doing this: 1) Sarah causes me to say “Oh, my!” a lot! 2) I need to post more about James and Jason, but Jason especially.

My Favorites . . .

2010-05-09T22:00:00.001-07:00

First of all, I want to say that it occurred to me today that we have been in Bakersfield for three years now. It was three years ago today that we got the key to our house and unloaded our moving truck. WOW!!!

But on to my favorites . . . today I asked the kids in Sunday School what one of their favorite things was about their mothers. Mostly I got very vague answers, like, "She's awesome!" When I asked for specifics, they had a hard time. My kids said things like, "She cooks nice." or "She's fun." I hope they were just stumbling because it was so last minute and nothing else was on the tip of their tongue.

I decided that I wanted to write down some of my favorites about each of them, so here goes . . .

James: He is a good friend, and relationships are important to him. He is loyal. He is excellent at critiquing things, his dad's sermons being one of the things. A couple weeks ago, I asked, "How was church this morning?" I was in Children's Ministry. He said, "Dad did a great job. His sermon was good, very practical. His introduction grabbed my attention and his examples were easy to relate to." Occasionally, he says something like, "The introduction could have been a little better" or "Your conclusion wasn't the best." It's hilarious, but Brent loves it because it is honest. When he wants to be, he is very helpful. He can be the best big brother, again when he wants to. He is friendly and willing to take risks.

Jason: He is also a great friend!!! And he is a friend to those who have no friends!!! He's not afraid of what that might do to his reputation, and he will put up with a lot of annoyance from those who are not easy to befriend. There is one boy at school that comes to mind quickly. He is charming and most people love him, peers and adults. He is diligent, and he perseveres. He is not afraid to say no when he doesn't want to do something. He doesn't like to have his schedule over full.

David: He is so excited and happy about EVERYTHING!!!! Tonight we were watching The Blind Side, and he was cheering for the football games and clapping when the plays ended, as if we were watching something live. He is an encourager. His gymnastics coach has told me time and time again that when other kids are having trouble with something in class, it is David who encourages and pushes them to do their best. He's strong and has incredible endurance. He is a terrific older brother and loves his sister so much. He recently wrote a book and read it out loud at his writer's tea at school. He dedicated his book to his sister and gave her a big hug after he walked down from the stage. It was so cool!!!!

Sarah: She has a super laugh (only not when it is a fake laugh). She takes charge, which can be a problem, but it is fun to watch! She is hilarious and says the funniest things all the time. She is very loving to all of us and to her friends. I think she is also a very loyal friend. We will see if this continues, but so far it seems this way. Her strong opinions make me crazy sometimes, but I think it is great that she has them, too. With three brothers, she is somewhat of a tomboy, but she also likes to be girly. She loves to play dress up and wants to have tea parties all the time!!!

I'm sure there are 100 other things, but those are the things off the top of my head. I'm very blessed!!!

On My Heart

2010-05-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

I need to post about so many things . . . Easter . . . a book . . . my kids . . . life in general. So here is some rambling about what God has been teaching me. I'm still working through all my thoughts, but here goes.

Just before Easter, our small group completed a study on becoming a good samaritan. I was dealing with the abortion issues from my previous post. We have some friends who are serving and loving some homeless people and I felt a tug to get involved on some level. I completed the book The Same Kind of Different As Me and now the sequel, What Difference Do It Make, and both touched me deeply. With all of this plus my job, I figure God must be trying to work on my heart in regards to being a servant to those in need, but what does that mean? To tell you the truth, because of my job (which might seem kind of backward), in many ways I lack compassion and mercy for the down and out. It is very conflicting. I said something in small group one night that caused someone to question my contradiction, which in turn caused me to think about it a lot. What does God want from me? What do I need to do to be obedient to Him?

I think it is hard to come to a good balance with these issues. There is such a fine line in trying to balance responsibility and compassion, similar to the balance of grace and truth. In my job, I work with former foster youth, young adults who turned 18 in the foster care system. Some might think that their 18th birthday means freedom, but in the words of one of my co-workers it's more like they "were thrown to the wolves." They do not know what to do next. THey don't have the support of their family as they learn independence, no one to call when they make mistakes and need direction. I have a giant heart for these young adults. I know their back story and can totally understand why they are responding and making the choices they are making. However, I also know the only way they can redirect their lives is to learn to make good choices. The best choice they can make is to follow Jesus, but some of them aren't ready to do that. I believe they can learn to make good choices in their day to day activities without following Jesus, so practically that is what I am trying to teach them. Sometime I just want to slap some sense into them. I am working through this balance of loving and showing mercy, yet trying to talk honestly to them about the irresponsible choices they are making.

We spent Easter lunch with our friends, Seth and Callie, at this small grassy area in Bakersfield where we fed lunch to about 10 homeless people. We took tri-tip, beans, potato salad, cookies and drinks. Most of them came to us to get food, then left. A couple weren't very social, so we took some plates to them. Three of the men ate with us. One of them, specifically sat down with Seth, Callie, Brent, James and I and shared his story. What sadness and loss he has experienced. I'm sure in the midst of all his losses, he made some poor choices which has made it difficult for him to find work now, but I cannot imagine walking the path he has walked. He has no one. His parents and brother have passed away, and his sister lives clear across the country and they have not maintained contact. He truly has no one. It doesn't change the fact that he made some poor choices, but he is suffering the consequences. It's our job, now, to show compassion and to help make a difference in his life. We still don't know exactly what our specific role is, but we are seeking God in all of that, and He has laid a lot on our hearts.

I am praying that I will seek God in trying to find this balance. I think my biggest issue is lack of waiting for direction. I speak when I should be quiet and I act when I should be still and listen. I need to know from God what to say and when to say it, what to do and when to do it. I think if I can slow down a bit and wait on God, my responses will probably show this balance that I think we have to have. I just know that we are called to serve, and when I serve others, I want to serve them well, with the heart of Jesus.

Birthday Season

2010-04-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

We are nearing the end of birthday season in our house. We have all six birthdays between February 10th and April 25th with four of them in March. It's hard to believe my oldest is fifteen, but I think even harder to believe that my youngest if nearly five. As I type, she is sitting next to me writing letters on a piece of paper and adding 2 + 1. Oh, my, where did the time go?

James turned 15 on February 10th, and we celebrated by he and I jumping in a car and driving to Bartlesville. It was a great time on the road. Pretty much once we got to Bartlesville I didn't see him, but the time in the car was fabulous! He's such a great kid. He's a teenager and drives us crazy occasionally, but when I really think about it and think of myself at that age, I am so proud of him. He checks his brain from time to time, particularly when he is interacting with his siblings, but most of the time he is really on top of things. I am most proud of his walk with Jesus. When I was 15, I was boy crazy and acting stupid, making bad choices a lot of the time. He's hanging out with his friends, usually at our house. I'm sure he thinks girls are cute, but he's not over eager to date, enjoying his guy time! He's usually up early reading his Bible, and he likes to sit and hear his dad's sermons on Sunday morning. When he was little, we called him our "little evangelist". This hasn't changed . . . he has some pretty crazy friends who he loves to have over, and they seem to like to be here because they keep on returning. Most of them have had little to no exposure to Jesus. James is ready and willing to share the Truth with them! It's great!

Jason turned 12 on March 31st. He had four friends over to spend the night. He is a great friend to others, such an encourager. He does not study Scripture like his brother, but he has a heart of gold, and his actions truly display the love of Jesus. This is something we hear about him from others frequently. You can read an earlier post of mine about what his teacher said about him earlier this year, one of the greatest compliments I have received on one of my children. He is a friend to the friendless and the people who no one else will befriend. I know it's not always easy to be friends with some of the people he is friends with, but he does it anyway. He loves the Lord and grows daily to be more like Jesus.

David turned 7 on March 2nd. He actually had a birthday party this year, although not until March 13th. He had several friends over and they had a big Wii tournament on the big screen in the house. None of us really like cake, so everyone had giant chocolate chip cookies. David's were shaped and decorated like a bowling pin, a baseball, and a putting green! It was fun! I baked, and Brent decorated! David is asking so many questions about Jesus. Easter was a precious time with him this year as he was able to better comprehend Jesus's death and resurrection and what that means for him personally. He has asked to be baptized. We still are not certain he fully grasps it, so we are waiting and having almost daily conversations with him.

Sarah will be five in a couple weeks. She will have her first birthday party ever. She wants a princess tea party, but recently she told us she wanted to invite prince's also. We will see. I would rather keep it small. She has been planning every little detail, including making up her own game that I don't think I can possibly re-explain. Not sure how we are going to handle that yet! She is really into learning and will do great in kindergarten next year. She loves preschool, loves learning her letters, loves adding, and is excellent at following instructions and making sure everyone around her follows them also. She has been talking way too much lately, so that could pose to be a problem for her in the classroom. We will see! Again, I reflect on my own life, and I am sorry to my parents if they happen to read this. I love you! But the thing I remember about turning five was that it was my first birthday without my parents being together. It was hard. I'm so grateful that Sarah will remember five differently.

In the mix of all the kids' birthdays, Brent and I often don't do much to celebrate. Usually we try to get out by ourselves for dinner or something. This year I decided to try to have some friends over to celebrate with Brent. His birthday was Saturday, so I emailed a few of his close friends here and down in the Thousand Oaks area. Not everyone could be here Saturday, so we had two birthday dinners. Saturday we had steak and potatoes, and I made my first cheesecake ever, and it actually was okay. I don't really care too much for cheesecake, but Brent loves it. Scott and Amberly were here for dinner with us. Then on Sunday we had chicken and linguine with a white sauce and a chocolate chip dessert. His friend, Mike, came up from Thousand Oaks, and our friends Eric and Shannon came over also. It was nice.

Then for my birthday, we went to BJs with our small group and had dinner and my favorite, a pizookie! We laughed and enjoyed each other's company. And Brent went out shopping for an orange tree for me. He wasn't actually able to get it. They didn't have the size in that he wanted, but soon I will have an orange tree. I wanted a house with one when we moved here, but that didn't happen, so I have been asking for one since. I think it might be one of my favorite presents of all time! We just have to get it and get it planted!!!

I look at my life, at my family, at our friends . . . We are truly blessed and I am so thankful!!! It's not always easy, but it sure is incredible!!! I can add to that in another post when I share about Easter Sunday, which was such an amazing treat! Our birthdays pale in comparison to what we have to celebrate on Easter, what we need to be celebrating each day!

Update on my last post

2010-03-29T18:22:00.001-07:00

I am very, very sad to say that there was an abortion . . . and it has been hard. I did not know it took place until several days later. Please pray for this young lady. Please pray for me as I continue to love her unconditionally. My heart aches for her!

Through all of this, I have become further frustrated that abortion is legal. When you relinquish your rights to a child (I have sat through many a proceeding in this regard) you have to answer all sorts of questions to prove that you are of sound mind and not under duress or anything like that. I am just wondering who, when they make a choice to have an abortion, is "of sound mind" or "not under duress"? I remember my first few months of pregnancy . . . I was anything but. I was hormonal, sick, emotional, you name it. And a person who is in a contemplative state, considering termination of her pregnancy, must be in a more stressful state of mind than I can even imagine (for probably a million reasons I cannot understand), and not of sound mind. But a person getting an abortion does not have to prove these things. I just know this is going to be painful for her at some point, if it isn't already.

I'm not one to blog about politically hot topics, so I am not going to go on and on about this. I pray if you read this and you have had an abortion, you hear what I am saying in a loving way. That little life is with Jesus now. It is the mother, here on earth, who has to suffer from the pain of a decision she made. She is the one I ache for now. And I ache for her because I care so much about her.

This life is sad and very hard. Heaven is going to be a wonderful place!!!

Sadness . . .

2010-03-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

I have seen a lot of sad reality in my years as a social worker. I have met hurting and broken people, and seen and read things that most people pretend do not exist. The trauma that happens to children is appalling, and it carries over into their adulthood. There's no doubt about it. I have been faced with many situations which have caused me to have to really look inside to determine things that I once thought were dogmatically immoral. (For example, putting a child on birth control before she started menstruating for fear that she would become pregnant before she ever had a period . . . yes, it can happen, sadly.) That was many years ago when I felt strongly that putting kids on birth control was only encouraging their promiscuous behavior. That's still debatable, and I still struggle with it, but I also know too many people who shouldn't be parents are becoming parents. And they have not been raised with the morals and beliefs that my children are being raised with, so it's a tough one.

But a week ago I was faced with the most difficult situation yet. It was not a hard decision to give an answer to the request, but truly it had never even been something I imagined ever happening. I had someone ask me to take them to the abortion clinic. I told her immediately that I could not, but I found myself later wondering about it . . . here's the story. There is a woman in my life who had a very difficult childhood. She's barely out of that childhood now, but she is an adult. She wants absolutely nothing to do with Jesus, and I am not sure that she has any healthy adults in her life. She already has one child, who she has great difficulty parenting. I truly believe she loves him, but she has NO skills, and teaching them is much harder than I ever imagined. She has been antagonistic against anything related to "religion" or "church". She didn't even want to come to a parenting group at a church because it was held at a church, even though it is non-religious. She got mad at a friend of mine when he offered to pray for her one day. I have been building a relationship with her over several months, probably 8 or so. A week ago Thursday I got a text message from her saying some choice words but ultimately telling me she was pregnant and trying to find a clinic. I asked her to hold off on finding a clinic and told her I would be by the next day to talk to her and in the meantime would be praying for her. I didn't know what her response would be to that, but I wanted her to know it. She simply thanked me, no anger.

The next day I went over and sat with her. The story got sadder as we went along, but I will hold off on the details because of confidentiality. However, when I was at her house, she shared with me that her family was angry with her. One particular family member had recently started attending church. Before she started attending church, she was fine with cohabitation and multiple fathers, but after she started at church, she was very judgmental and basically told this person she was living in sin, so she would no longer have any relationship with her. Through this conversation, I was able to share with her the fact that Jesus loves her and that He died on the cross for all of her sins, if she would only believe that. He does judge, but more importantly at this time, He loves and forgives. He is love. She did not get angry and did not throw me out of her house. But she would not let me pray for her either. So I told her I would pray quietly and outside of her house. I talked to her about the life in her and how important this baby is and how God loves the baby. She has always thought abortion was wrong, but in the midst of fear and stress, she was/is contemplating. So I spent the weekend praying for her every time I thought of her.

On Monday when I saw her again, she requested I take her to the clinic. She said she is definitely having an abortion. I continued to counsel her along the lines of how difficult I believe this will be for her in the future as she deals with the fact that she chose to kill her baby. I told her that I cared about her and will be there for her, but I absolutely could not take her to the clinic. I asked her to hold off on making any decision until I could get her some literature on abortion and adoption. It is interesting because she thinks adoption is just as bad as abortion. It's not the killing of the baby that is so hard for her, it is the giving up the baby in any way that is hard for her. I never thought about that before, a different perspective, which makes perfect sense knowing what little I know about her history. I went to our local crisis pregnancy center, a CareNet facility, and got some literature and took it to her that night and asked her to read through it, particularly about the difficulties mothers deal with after they make that decision and then the facts about the types of abortions and what they can do physically and emotionally. I don't think I have ever read through one of those . . . terribly difficult to read. As of today, she is still pregnant but continues to say that she is planning to go to a clinic. I am trying to prolong the situation so I can continue to have conversations with her. There aren't many days that you can get an abortion here, so that is helpful, and I don't think she has any money to do it, so that also is good. i just continue to pray that things will happen that keep her from a clinic.

When I mentioned that I have continued to wonder about taking her to the abortion clinic, it's because I can't imagine her going through that alone. I can't do it (go to the clinic). Morally, I just can't do it. I think I would physically be sick if I was party to the situation, but I keep thinking about her having to sit in the clinic all alone going through something so traumatic. If she were losing her baby by natural causes, I would be there holding her hand and helping her to process. Just because she makes a choice does not mean she doesn't need the help processing and being loved. I wonder if she has ever experienced unconditional love, love given to her even when she is acting in a way that someone who loves her thinks is wrong. I think of all the times I totally and completely love my kids, even though they are doing something wrong. I think of all the times God has loved me, even though I was doing something wrong. He is there with me so often when I am making poor decisions. Those are the things that have been coming and going in my mind. Tough stuff! Pray that I would show her this kind of love through this situation and pray that she would have the courage to make the right decision, to find an adoptive home for this new little baby.

And on a selfish note, this is very stressful for me. I feel like if I can't make a difference in her choice, what am I doing in this role. Pray that I will just do what I can and be obedient to what God wants me to do and trust God with the rest, and that I won't put undue pressure on myself.

Same Kind of Different As Me = Fantastic

2010-01-21T22:23:00.000-08:00

At the recommendation of some friends, I just read Same Kind of Different As Me. For those of you, who like me a few weeks ago, know nothing about this book because you are not up on books, it is a true story about two men from very different worlds who meet and become lifelong friends through the encouragement and faith of an incredible, strong woman. It is a story of God's power to overcome heartache and pain that seem impossible to overcome.

For me, it was a story of the blessing and encouragement I can be for my husband, especially, but also for others. If it was not for this woman, this friendship would not have taken place. It was through her forgiveness and loving encouragement that her husband was able to become the man he became. It was convicting! It was through her courage and conviction that so many lives were touched. I pray I can leave a legacy (in my own way) like she was able to do. I hope I am obedient and the woman of God that I am called to be. I hope I am in touch enough that I can hear or see when God points me in certain directions so that I can leave the legacy He has called me to leave.

I can't recommend the book enough!! And, aside from the tears, it is an easy read!!!

The Holidays

2010-01-18T22:35:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a bit late on this one . . . but we had a fabulous holiday season, so late or not, I want to share!!!

For Thanksgiving, we traveled down to my aunt, uncle and grandmother's. I don't think I actually took any pictures. We spent the evening before Thanksgiving at Disneyland, then we had Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt and uncle's and spent the night there that night. It was nice. The kids enjoyed their second cousins, and we enjoyed my first cousins.

Christmas was just wonderful! We started off the break from school with our last trip to Disneyland. It was such a great year with season passes, but we had pretty much decided we would do something different for 2010, just because Disneyland passes are so expensive. So we enjoyed a night and day there. The biggest excitement that night was that David was finally tall enough to ride California Screamin'. He has been waiting for this moment all year long, and I wasn't sure he was going to make it. He was a little freaked out, as was I. I'm still not sure he was tall enough, no matter what the sign said! But he loved it and rode it several times! Here are few pics of our two days. The first is of Sarah on the Ariel Carousel while the boys were on the roller coaster.

The next is of David and Sarah on the main Carousel in Storybookland.

Then we have Sarah comparing shoes with Mrs. Clause . . . they were very similar.

I didn't get any great pics of the older boys, at least not any that are on my computer.

I spent the next couple days cleaning the house and preparing for Christmas. Dad flew into San Diego and picked up my grandmother. They arrived here on Wednesday. This was our first Christmas since leaving Bartlesville that we were with family. I was so excited to have them here!! We have done fine the last couple years, but I was really dreading not having family with us this year, so I was so happy when Dad said he was coming and then when Grandma asked if she could come, too. Among other things, she was great help in getting prepared for Christmas Eve. We invited everyone from the church over, and we had about 40 come. We sang carols, read the Christmas story and just enjoyed company. We had a lot of finger foods. When everyone left, we attempted to get some family snapshots in front of the Christmas tree. I got a couple of decent ones of the kids and the kids with Dad and Grandma, but none of the six of us.

We woke up Christmas morning and opened gifts, followed by a nice breakfast (a rare occurrence in our house)! Then Brent put together Sarah's kitchen while I finished the food for lunch. Everyone watched Up. Then at about 2:30 our friends Scott (our new strategic pastor at Kaleo!!!) and Amberly and their children, Judah and Josiah, and our friend, Susan, came for dinner. We had a HUGE amount of food. It was delicious! Clean up was followed by a short nap and playing of games.

Dad and Grandma stayed until Wednesday morning, at which time we all went to Escondido (Northern San Diego County) to my aunt and uncle's to spend New Year's Even and surprise Grandma for her 90th birthday.

New Year's Eve was celebrated at my cousin, Cindy's. The kids swam while the adults played Wii. Even Grandma had her turn batting and golfing, as did Aunt Mary, who is blind. Yes, she batted, swinging when the crowd told her to, and proudly, she scored better than her husband, my Uncle Jim, whose sight is perfectly fine!!! It was a blast.

The following day we celebrated Grandma turning 90. Her birthday was not actually until the 7th, but this is when everyone could be in town. It was special for all of us who were there. She seemed to enjoy herself very much. She is in amazing shape for her age. I hope I am doing that well if I live to be that age. She will be spending a month on a cruise in early spring . . . a month, yes!!! But I figure, at 90, if that's what she wants, that's what she should do!!! It's great to be close enough to celebrate with her!!! We returned home late that night, or rather early the following morning. I felt so blessed this year at Christmas, with friends, family and church family around. I could not ask for more, except for the rest of our family to be here, too!!!

An Amazing Compliment

2009-11-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

I think I received the best compliment I have ever received on one of my children today, and it makes me so proud of him and so thankful for how God is molding my children. I stopped in Jason's class today to take him a lunch. His teacher quickly touched base with me to see how he has been doing. After a couple sentences, she asked me if I remembered what shirt he was wearing yesterday. I did not, so she told he me was wearing the shirt that says "The Church Has Left The Building" (our Gone for Good shirt for church). I nodded, and she said, "I don't think I have ever known a child who was more worthy of wearing that shirt." She then went on to tell me what a great kid he is and how he epitomizes what the shirt says. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm just so proud of who he is growing up to be, and I can't thank God enough for how he is molding and growing each of my kids, but specifically Jason!

How Long Do We Wait?

2009-11-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

I have almost finished a book called The Tangible Kingdom, which Brent has really been wanting me to read. It was first recommended to me by some friends, Seth and Callie, who we just love!!! I really like the book. I think the authors are humble in the way they present their way of doing church, which is sometimes hard to find, and I think they bring up some excellent points. We asked another friend to read the book as well, though, and she called to talk to us about it with a few concerns, which got me to asking myself this question . . . How long do we wait to tell someone about Jesus??? Hugh Halter and Matt Smay, the authors of The Tangible Kingdom, make the point that we need to be living our lives in such a way that others want to have life like we do and will ask questions to learn why we are different. My friend's question was, how long do we wait? Some may never ask, and if we love them the way God has called us to love them, we can't wait in case they don't ask because it robs them of their opportunity for eternal life, their opportunity to know Jesus and to be all that He wants them to be. (That's put into my words!!! But essentially that is what I heard her say.)

It's a tough balance, that's for sure!!! And I have pondered this for the past couple weeks and come to this opinion: If we are not living life in such a way that makes people want what we have, then when we propose it to them, they will not listen. However, if we wait for them to ask, my friend is right, we may miss the opportunity. There is this incredible video on You Tube that Brent showed to me a while back of the comedian, Teller, that I think is just incredible, and it speaks to this on some level. Check out the link. Again, this has made me really think. If I do believe in Heaven and Hell, then I sure better be telling people about how they can spend eternity with Jesus. But I also must be living my life in such a way that people are attracted to Jesus.

In addition, I must be doing more to surround myself with people who may not know Him. The other thing that I have concluded is that I cannot do this on my own. And thankfully I don't have to. God has given me the Holy Spirit to lead and prompt me to do and say what He wants when He wants. However, I do have to pay attention and be aware of His promptings. That is where things can get tough. Sometimes it's hard to obey, and sometimes it's hard to get a clear understanding of what to do.

I wanted to quote something from the book, but sad to say, right now I cannot locate it in all of the piles around my house. That is a completely separate blog post that should include lots of tips from the FlyLady, which I receive daily and ignore:( When I find the book, I will find the quote and post another blog!!!! It is a good read and both challenged me and encouraged me as I try to live out the Great Commission.

*Note: I don't really think Hugh Halter or Matt Smay would disagree with this balance. The book just focuses on how we live more than on what we say!!!!

My Kids

2009-09-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Since it has been a while, I thought I would give a brief update on each of the kids . . .

James started high school this year!!! Oh, my! Seems like just yesterday Brent and I were lying in bed on his 8th birthday. I remember saying to Brent with teary eyes, "We are half way until when he drives. Next year we will be half way to adulthood." We are now a year and a half from driving and 3 1/2 years from 18 and then graduation. It flies, people! It really does. I am so proud of him. As do many teenagers, he drives me crazy some of the time, but he is overall an incredible kid! My favorite thing about him right now is his discipline (in some aspects). He is up every morning (more or less) at 5:30 to do his Bible study, work out and get ready for school. His friend Jacob gets here at about 6:45 and they walk to school together at about 7:15. He continues to have a heart for the lost, and I am both excited and worn out over the number of kids we have in our house on weekends. I want them here, so that makes me happy, but it sure can be messy and loud!!! The best thing is that the kids seem to like to be here, even though we will not leave them unsupervised and even though we probably don't have a coolest house on the block! James is playing soccer for a recreational league right now. He will start conditioning for the Freshman soccer team at his high school in October. He is in several clubs in school, and he is working hard academically. He still has dreams of going back to Oklahoma for college - gives me a lump in my throat to think about him being so far away.

Jason is in 6th grade, which is still elementary here, and for that I am thankful! He is loved by everyone, still a charmer. His teachers love him, and his peers love him. He recently ran for student government at his school. He ran against his two best friends, Jennifer and Ryan. I was so proud of him and the way he handled the whole situation, which could have been hard on relationships. Jennifer won, but the three are still great friends! He had to give a speech in front of the 4th, 5th and 6th graders, and he did a great job. It was a great experience! He is working so hard in school, which does not come as easily to him as it does to his older brother, but he is diligent! He decided not to play soccer this fall. He prefers to have his evenings and Saturdays free. It's much harder to get him to commit to something. He is, however, taking a trampboarding class. This is at the gymnastics center. He wears a foam board on his feet and then jumps and does tricks on the trampoline. In addition to being it's own new sport, it is supposed to help people prepare for wake boarding and snow boarding. He loves it and can do all sorts of flips on the trampoline! He also thinks very highly of his coach. He has really grown in his relationship with the Lord also. He frequently invites people to church and comes home talking about who does and does not know the Lord at school. It has been fun watching him grow and develop in this area.

David started 1st grade, despite our concerns that we might have needed to hold him back. He had such a hard time sitting still in kindergarten, and his fine motor skills were terrible. We had several meetings last year to try to make a determination about 1st grade, and the decision was to move him on with lots of work over the summer on those fine motor skills. Well, our good intentions in the summer fell short, and we did not work with him like we should have, so I was worried. However, there were some interesting things that happened in the summer. First of all, we changed bedrooms around, and David ended up with his own room. He started being so responsible and keeping it so clean. It was incredible! One day Brent asked him why he was keeping his room so nicely, and he said, "God told me to." If only we all listed to God so closely!!! The other thing was that just before school started his gymnastics coach came and talked to me and told him he could not believe the change he had seen in David's attention. He had made a 180 degree turn. His coach also said that his strength and ability were incredible and he wanted to recommend him for a pre-competitive gymnastics team. I was less excited about that than about the fact that he was listening and obeying better. After much deliberation, we have allowed him to do the Rockets (the team he was recommended for) and he is loving it. We will see where this leads. I can't imagine that we will be doing competitive gymnastics for long, but he LOVES it, so who knows. Anyway, even with that knowledge, I was still incredibly nervous about first grade, but he got the teacher we requested, and off he went the first day as excited as could be. At the end of the week, I spoke to his teacher. She said he had been just perfect and was keeping up just fine academically. We are now 5 weeks in and there are no problems. His speech teacher, who has been with him since he was 4, observed him in the classroom and then talked to me. He could not believe the change. It's so exciting, and it is making school so much more pleasant!!! He sits still and listens and has not yet been in trouble!

Finally, my sweet Sarah . . . she started pre-school. It has taken some adjusting. She has a friend at school, and as long as Zoe is there, all is well. She also loves her teacher, so that is good. She is playing soccer for the first time. It is super cute, although all she really wants to do is hold her friend, Holly's, hand and run around. She's not real competitive! She is also in gymnastics and she likes it. However, her favorite thing in the world is babies, and she does not think it is very fair that her three closest friends all have baby sisters. That's not going to change, so we are trying to teacher her how to deal with disappointment:) Her independence continues to develop, and she is very bossy to her brothers at times. She is messy and does not keep her room or any other room clean. I am waiting for God to have the conversation with her that He had with David. She loves to color and cut and glue and other little crafty type things that the boys never cared about, so that is fun!!! She has a bright smile and says the sweetest, funniest things. She keeps us laughing!!!

I feel so blessed to have the family that I have. I wouldn't change any of it. Brent is amazing and such a great husband and father. We are not perfect; we make mistakes all the time, but God is faithful and carries us through it, and protects our kids and grows their character. It's fun to watch, but it passes too quickly!

Blog Update

2009-09-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to blog for a while again, but where do you start when it has been so long? I have tons of cute stories of my kids and great stories of what God has been doing in and through me, but I have just NOT had time to sit down and write it all. Spring and Summer were hard. I really struggled in the spring with stress and sadness that I had never experienced before - I think I was depressed, but thankfully I am doing better now. Summer was good but very, very busy. We traveled more than we have ever!!! It was a HUGE blessing to get to do all that we did, and there are so many to thank for making it possible. My most recent trip was to Palm Springs with my grandmother, aunt, and girls cousins - very fun!!! While there, my cousin, Cindy, told me I really needed to start blogging again, so for the past three weeks I have been thinking about doing that. Now Fall is here, although you would not know that by our 102 degree weather the past week, but it is here. School has started, and our schedules have sort of settled down - sort of! I don't think I can go back and remember all the blog-worthy things in my life, but I can try to start from today!

Tonight I had the opportunity to have a meeting with a group of young moms who have very little support in their lives. About 21 were invited. I hoped for maybe 8 to show up, but only four were there (and one doesn't really count because she came with a friend and is not a mom, but she was really nice anyway). Initially I was a little frustrated because it takes time and energy and money to prepare for something like this, and it is frustrating when people do not come, but it was such a blessing to have the time with these four women. We just talked about parenting issues for about an hour and a half. This was not a church event, but I was able to share my convictions about certain things and talk about how God has used me and grown me through my kids. I was able to facilitate the girls visiting with each other and realizing that there are other people out there in similar situations. My ultimate goal for this, besides an opportunity to mentor and share my life, is to help them connect and be a resource for each other. By the time the night was over, two of them were talking about babysitting for each other, and one of them asked if we had to wait a whole month to get together again. She said she needs this more frequently. Once again, it's cool how God works things out. In many minds, even my own on some level, the small number equates to lower success, but I was thinking as I drove home about how adding to that group could have taken away from the openness and willingness to share and the relationships that were built as a result. I still hope that next time we have a larger group, but I am thankful for how God worked out this evening! It was fabulous! I'm thankful to the ladies who came and thankful that they shared with me and allowed me to share with them.

On a little side note - I felt really, really old!!!

Mother's Day Poem

2009-05-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

. . . given to me by all of my kids, written by James. I think it's worth sharing!!!

On this day dedicated solely to you,
I have no gift that is the perfect match.
Nothing I can purchase, make or do
Will be able to fathom or unlatch
The effort you take to try to teach
Those who stubbornly refuse to learn.
No ordinary love could create the patience to reach
Your own blood, your words which they scorn.
So as a feeble, sorry try
This gift we give to thy.
Go on a date.
Stay out late.
We'll get the little ones in bed.
We'll sweep up every crumb of bread.
We love you tons, Mom.

Jason said, "He's a poet and didn't know it. He can rhyme anytime!!!" My kids bring a smile to my face!

Insensitivity

2009-02-07T20:54:00.001-08:00

I don't know why I am shocked at the insensitivity of other believers, but I am. Forgive me for my moment of venting, but I don't really think there are too many who read this, and it is good therapy to put it down in writing. Tonight someone (from a partner church) was helping us set up for services tomorrow. I am so grateful for the people who come week in and week out to assist us, but a few of them just don't get it. Believe me I am excited at the recent growth of our church. It is fun to see as the seats fill up on Sunday mornings, but I can see how God has used us over the whole past year, even on Sundays when there were only 20 people at church. It makes me sad that so many people only see the value in the number who attend on Sunday morning. Tonight this person said to Brent, "It's great to hear that good things are happening now." This is as if no good things were happening before our numbers went up. Though our numbers have increased and I am excited for the new friends and the new opportunities to partner with people in ministry, most of our recent growth has been through other believers joining us, not through the transformation of lives. It makes me sad that people cannot see that when we only had a handful of people, some of those people were people who were just seeking God and coming to a saving knowledge of Him, people whose lives may not be different if Kaleo had not existed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to take credit. I know God could have used anyone to send the message to these people, but I am glad He used us, and that exciting things were happening, even when things were smaller. I wish people could see that more clearly. And I am so thankful for the encouragers we have in our lives who make up for the moments when others, in their moments of insensitivity, are so discouraging.

Ironic

2009-01-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

When we first started this adventure in church planting, we were looking at going to LA. I remember visiting several times, sometimes with kids and getting crazy looks because of how many we have and sometimes without kids, noticing that there just weren't very many kids, and often when we saw families, there was only one child, sometimes two and often very spread out in age. I remember thinking that we might not need a children's ministry in our church, except for our own children, and being sad about that but trusting God.

I knew coming to Bakersfield was different than being in LA, but even here we sometime got some looks. And I remember during the first or second week of living here, we were walking through Lowes with all the kids, and some guy stopped me and asked if we had four kids. He just looked shocked. He did follow the question with, "so do we, but we never see anyone else who does." I must say that since that time I have met several people who have four children, and we have some friends with five, so it is not completely uncommon. However, I am beginning to think that people must think Kaleo means Large Families Wanted! We had 37 kids at church on Sunday, just about half of our total attendance. I still think I am in awe! 37 kids is a lot of kids!!! It was great! One other thing is almost all of them are boys. Of 17 in one room, five were girls. So that thought of not needing children's ministry is out the door!!! Now we just need more people to serve and love on these kids!!!

Exciting times!!!

Follow up . . .

2009-01-20T11:44:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that Sunday was a wonderful day!!!! We had our best attendance ever, but more importantly than that, four (instead of three as I posted before) people were baptized. It was so wonderful to see each of them and the fruit of what we have been doing and, more importantly, praying for!!! We had a picnic after church with great attendance and watched so many people connecting and building relationships. It was fabulous!!! We also got to make the announcement that we have a worship leader now!!! Yay!!! That is the result of much prayer, and we are so excited to have CJ, Darcie and Christian as a part of our church family! They are fabulous! Then, since the kids were out of school on Monday and we have the AMAZING season passes to Disneyland, we got up early yesterday morning and made a day of it at Disney's California Adventure in order to have some family time! It was a great weekend. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and your part in our lives and in our ministry. This is all part of your doing also!

Happy 1st Birthday, Kaleo!!!

2009-01-17T22:56:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow we will celebrate the first birthday of Kaleo!!! Just like with a child, it is so hard to believe a year has passed. When I think back over the year to the first service last January, I am in awe of how God has carried us through so much and through so many different emotions. It has been crazy. We were in a meeting yesterday with our management team, three pastors from partner churches, and Brent was talking about how there were times that we wanted to quit. It was so hard. (I'm using the past tense loosely. Certainly, I do not think the hard is over.) There have been numerous lessons in perseverance - really the same lesson, just over and over. In the midst of it all, of course, we saw great things, but as I blogged before it is so often easy to get bogged down with the not so great things, and to forget. The last two weeks have been very encouraging, and I am so excited to go and celebrate our one year anniversary tomorrow. We will be baptizing three people, which is wonderful. After service, we are heading to a park for a picnic. The weather is supposed to be a beautiful 71 degrees. It's January, and while I live in California, it's Bakersfield, and we do have cold temperatures. It is not supposed to be this warm in January. I think it is a nice little birthday present from God!!!

I need to blog more often about the great blessings, but I have been tired and lacking time since I started my job, but I did want to post something about tomorrow. I continue to hold onto the verses in Romans 5:1-5. This has been such an encouragement to me from shortly after we began our church planting journey. There are so many things in these verses, but the thing I have to remember and to focus on is in verse 2 ". . . and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." It is easy for my joy and my hope to rest in the responses of the people around me. My hope should rest only in God.

So, as we move into year two, I pray that we will have joy that can only come from the hope that we have in Jesus Christ. And that his joy will be evident to those around us, so much so that they want to know why. Brent says that sometimes he feels that all we are doing is being faithful. We go through periods of time when we do not see a lot of fruit, and it can get us down, but our job is to be faithful to what God has called us. I pray we will continue to be faithful and that joy would be seen in that faithfulness.

"Thank You God . . . "

2009-01-13T21:41:00.000-08:00

" . . . for making me. Thank you God for making me so pretty." This was Sarah's prayer a few nights ago. I guess I don't have to worry about her self-esteem!!! It's amazing how sweet and innocent such things can sound coming from the mouth of a three year old! I love it! We must now pray for humility!!!

My Camera

2009-01-11T21:15:00.000-08:00

I've had a million things to blog about but not a second to write. I need to catch up, and I need to post some pictures, but right at the moment, it's impossible. Which leads me to my camera story, which is very cool!!!

We went to Disneyland on the first and second of January. It was wonderful!!! I love Disneyland, and I am so grateful for the Christmas gift of Disneyland passes. We will enjoy Disney several times this year! We had been home for a week when we realized we hadn't seen our camera since we returned. I was just certain we had it, but we searched and could not find it. I remembered that as we were leaving the park, the princesses were out for pictures. Sarah was asleep, and I mentioned to Brent that we should try to take her picture with them because she won't go near them when she is awake. She's too afraid (yes, even of the princesses!) Anyway, we didn't end up taking the picture, but I was sure we had the camera at that point in time. Today, I decided to break down and call the Disney lost and found. Can you believe it? They have our camera. We left it there and some very nice and honest person found it and turned it in. And Disneyland is mailing it to us. When I tried to give them my credit card information to pay for postage, they told me it was on Mickey!!! What a wonderful place!!

Fog Delays!

2008-12-12T23:35:00.001-08:00

My friends in Bakersfield probably do not care about this blog, but for my friends other places, I must share something that I find very interesting about Bakersfield . . .

Just like those of you in Oklahoma who have children in school have snow delays, we have fog delays. Yes, fog delays. We did have a couple last year, so this is not new information to me, but I never thought much about it last year. I think we only had three total, and they were pretty far apart. And the first two, we did not even know and sent our children to school anyway. After the second time, Jason came home and said his teacher said not to come in. Classrooms are still open because technically it is only a bus delay, but the teachers cannot teach regular curriculum because the students who come late cannot be forced to make up the work, so they have to do something to keep kids busy that has nothing to do with regular classroom learning. We are actually far enough for a bus (but that is funny in itself because we are so close to the school, and the kids have never ridden the bus in the morning), so my kids count in the bus delay. Plus, they do not check attendance until after 10:00, so many people keep their kids home.

Well, this year has been completely different from last year, and I have a new appreciation for fog delays. We have had at least one fog delay each week for the past four or five weeks, and both last week and this week we had two. The fog is crazy. I leave for work at 6:25, and it is unbelievable. I wish I could get above it and take a picture to show you. Some of the mornings I have not been able to see the houses across the street. I have to drive very slowly because I am almost at an intersection before I see the stoplight. I guess I probably should just stay home.

Who knew there was somewhere in the world that delayed school because of fog?

He's sweet, He's ornery!

2008-11-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

I think they go hand in hand. I've said before that David is about the most loving child there is, but he is also the most trying in my house!!!! Here are a couple stories!!!

Last night we stopped at Target to let each of the kids choose a Christmas Tree ornament. Everyone was walking around looking for what they wanted. After a few minutes, David walked up to me holding a pretty ornament, but not one that a five year old boy would normally choose. I should put up a picture. He said he wanted that one, so I asked why he chose it, and he said, "Because it was all alone." Apparently, he found it by itself on a shelf where it did not belong. He seemed genuinely sad for the ornament, and he was set on getting it. I was a little nervous because it is glass, but he wanted to carry it, not put it in the cart. So the other three kids continued to walk around looking for their ornaments. They chose Winnie the Pooh and Charlie Brown (Jason has yet to choose.) In the process of waiting, David saw other ornaments that caught his eye, but he continued to hold that other one. At some point, he walked up to me with a sad look and said he changed his mind. I hadn't heard glass shatter, but the way he talked and looked, I was certain he broke the ornament, so I had him show me where it was. With a very sullen face, he walked over to a shelf, sat down and pointed. There was the gold ornament, sitting along again. David looked like he was about to cry. It was evident to Brent and I that he wanted a fun ornament, but was broken hearted about this one being alone. I don't know if this is where he found the ornament to begin with, but I think it may have been. It just about brought me to tears. Needless to say, we came home with the gold ball ornament AND a star wars ornament!!!!

A few minutes ago, I asked David what he wanted for lunch. He said he wanted to make his own. He likes to be so independent because of his brothers. I said he could look in the refrigerator and let me know what he was going to make. He got out the buns and came in asking about pepperonis, which we do not have, so I told him that. He left and went back into the kitchen. A couple minutes later I went in to check on him. I found him sitting on the floor scooping Cool Whip into a bowl! He was prepared to eat Cool Whip for lunch. No more lunch making for David for a while!!!!

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. I will post some pics of our time in San Diego. We had a nice day with my family, then we enjoyed Wild Animal Park yesterday before returning home!! Now, it is a busy day preparing for tomorrow!

Cutie Patootie!!!

2008-11-21T22:49:00.001-08:00

Okay, I really don't know where that saying came from or if I am even spelling Patootie right, but I have a funny story about Sarah!!!

This morning I was brushing her hair and helping her with her teeth, and she was just looking so darn cute! I looked at her and said, "You are such a Cutie Patootie!" She said, "I not a cutie patooo - what you call me?" So I said, "A cutie patootie." She said, "I not a cutie patootie." I said, "Yes you are." She followed with, "No I not, I don't toot!" I held off on the conversation about honesty because I was laughing so hard!!! It's funny what our little sayings bring to the mind of a three year old!! Whatever she says, she is adorable - definitely a cutie, but maybe I will leave off the patootie part next time I am talking to her about it!!!

My Week

2008-11-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging too much lately - just too much going on. And I realized that my last few posts, with the exception of the seven random things post have been kind of downers. I don't like that because really things are good. And I don't want people not to realize that because the few times that I take a moment to write are moments that I'm not feeling so great. I am making a point to write today because I really feel encouraged. God is amazing! He does amazing things in my life, and it's no good not to mention the good things.

This was a pretty good week. Here are a few of the highlights.

I really am liking my job. The people are super, and I am learning and beginning to understand more, though I do have a long ways to go yet.

Though David has been exceptionally on the hyper side lately, he is doing better academically, at least from my perspective. Letter sounds are starting to mean more to him. He is great at sight words, and his phonics are coming along.

Jason has completely caught up in his reading level. His teacher tested him last week, and he is reading at exactly the right level. I'm not real big on tracking levels because all kids do things at different paces, but this is a big deal when you consider where he is compared to a year ago. We discontinued his tutoring, at least for the time being. Mostly because of scheduling conflicts, but we wouldn't have been able to if he had not made so much progress.

We have continued to have visitors at church, and Brent was very encouraged by this morning's lesson. Most of the people in our church have more than two kids, so the numbers add up quickly. Jill and I had 8 3-6 year olds today and two babies. We had to pull someone to come and give us a hand with the older kids (7-12), and thankfully we had someone who was willing!

I had a nice lunch with my friend Jill yesterday. It's just nice to sit and talk without our kids playing loud or fighting with each other!

Then last night I had a wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner with my mom's group. It was nice to chat with friends and eat amazing food!

James went to Acquire the Fire with the youth group this weekend. Kevin took four boys. There were several instances of touched hearts, and one of the boys accepted the Lord for the first time!!!!! We are so excited!

Tomorrow night I start a Bible study with a few ladies from our church. The two ladies who requested we start a Bible study came to our launch service after having not been in church ever or in many, many years.

We had a nice family day to the LA Zoo this week. The kids were out of school for Veteran's Day, so I switched my work schedule so I could have the same day off. We had a nice time.

I'm sure there are many more great things that happened this week, but these are the things that stick out!! I'm ready to see what is in store this week. Hope everyone else had a good week, too.

Seven Random Things About Me

2008-11-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged and need to tell seven random things about myself, so here goes.

1. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 17 - kind of a rough time to not be able to drive and to mess with medications. There are parts of my senior year of high school that I do not remember because of medication reactions. YUCK! But it all worked out, and I have now been seizure free for almost 10 years.

2. I had two marriage proposals (if you want to call them that - certainly not romantic ones) before Brent, and before I was even 19 years old.

3. At the point of graduation from high school, I really thought I wanted to be a chemist. How in the world did I become a social worker? I can't even answer that, except to say that God knew what He was doing, and somehow I wandered down a path of classes that led me to an internship at DHS, which I loved.

4. I went to 12 or 13 schools before I finished high school. By the time I was through my sophomore year in college, I had lived in Bartlesville longer than anywhere else consecutively. I actually lived in El Paso, Texas, for four years, but not consecutively. And, no, my parents were not in the military.

5. When Brent was trying to propose to me, I caused a fight. It's a good story. For more laughter, you will have to ask him to tell the story rather than me.

6. I absolutely love ice cream, and as silly as it may seem, especially those king size drumsticks - vanilla with chocolate swirls.

7. I do not like to cook. Actually, I guess I don't mind cooking, but the whole process from start to finish drives me crazy, especially when it only takes a few short minutes to eat.

Okay, I tag Courtney, Kylee Colaw, and Vickie

Lots of New Things

2008-10-31T15:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you who do not know, I have been looking and looking for a job for several months. It kept seeming that doors would open and then slam shut. Well, last week I finally started a job. And it is completely new to me. I am working for Chevron with the title of engineering assistant. I wish I could tell you more of what that means, but basically, I just do whatever I am told. So far it has consisted of data entry and printing a lot of maps. The job just fell into place. I have a friend here, and her mother was looking to hire someone, and I was the person she decided to hire. I knew her mother some, from going to different family events. She is very nice and great to work for. All of the people in my office are very nice . . . and very patient with me as I learn! Also, my boss is from Bartlesville originally, though she has been in Bakersfield since she was about five years old. Kind of fun!!! I am working three days a week, and they are flexible. Normally I am working Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, from 7:00 to 4:00. I love getting off work early, but the mornings are just about to kill me!!! I am absolutely not a morning person. However, I am so thankful for God's provision.

It has been a rough week, though. To start things off, on Wednesday, we locked ourselves completely out of our house. Later that evening, we found out something one of our kids did that was incredibly shocking and disappointing - don't want to get into the details, but we have dealt with it much of the rest of the week. I don't want anyone to worry, everyone is fine, but there were some tough lessons to learn and probably to still be learned. I am mostly not saying anything because it would not please the child who made the mistake. Then, on Thursday night, Sarah cut her own hair. While she did a nice job overall, she has bangs, which just makes me sad. I have worked hard to keep her from having bangs. Then on Friday, we got a phone call from the fraud department of our credit card company verifying some charges. Our card number had been stolen, and several charges were made. One, in particular, was a charge of over $600.00 to a florist. I'm glad the fraud department caught it and that we don't have to pay it, so really it was not that big of a deal, but still a bummer.

While most of this is little, add it all to the busyness in our lives and the stress of church planting, and it was a hard week. I spent a lot of time wondering what we are doing and having a lot of doubts. Why are we here? Why did God choose us to do this? Is this really what He wants us to do?

As I was trying to pray on Wednesday evening, my mind kept wandering, and I was frustrated. However, it did wander to Scripture, I kept thinking of Isaiah 40:31, which says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not grow weary, and they shall walk and not faint." In another version, the word "wait" is "hope". The word "hope" means to trust in or look expectantly to. This caused me to look inward and consider, "What am I trusting in? What am I eagerly awaiting?" I have to keep my eyes on what is truly important and not lose sight of the one who gives me strength, who gives me endurance to run this race. I think my focus was on the wrong thing for several days, and this isn't the first time. I have got to constantly refocus on Jesus.

I really sensed God's presence as we dealt with stuff with our kids this week. No, we definitely did not do things perfectly. There were several times when voices were elevated and tempers were lost, but God gave us wisdom, and He put people in our lives to help us as we treaded on new territory, dealing with brand new issues. Parenting grows us as much as it grows the kids, in wisdom, in humility and in reliance on the Lord.

We ended the week on a good note, with a nice family night out to Chipotle (My Bartlesville friends - you really, really need one of these there!!!) and then bowling. And since we had the little kids, we bumper bowled, which is always nicer on the scoreboard!!! It was a nice Friday evening, and I am thankful for my family and thankful for the God that I serve and for His Word, which grants us wisdom and a better understand of who He is.

Back in Time

2008-10-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

I have seen so many amazing friends over the last 3 days, and I have enjoyed all of my time with each of them. Last night I was visiting with some of my old friends from Bartlesville! We were reminiscing about old times in college and beyond and just enjoying some good laughs. It was wonderful! While I am grateful for my new friends and relationships in Bakersfield, I really miss my friends here! It is stressful to come back for several reasons, but I think the biggest is that it reminds me of what I am missing. I can put it out of my mind when I am gone and busy. While I cannot imagine ever moving back, I really miss a lot of people.

Just driving around town takes me back through the past 17 years of my life - different memories pop into my mind as I pass different locations while driving down the road - from different places that Brent and I went when we were dating to old places of employment and old friends and fun memories I have with my kids. I think about all of it and remember so many good times. Mixed in with all of that were tough times, too, but I don't seem to remember those as much. I guess that is good.

Tonight I also heard some news that is still just making my stomach hurt. Things change so much in so little time. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to when things were simpler. I doubt back then they seemed simple, but right now my memories are simple. I remember life being slower and people being happier. I wonder in ten years if I will look back and see things that I am experiencing now differently than how I feel right now as I go through life. I wish I could take people back with me and remind them of what things looked like back then - marriages, friendships, work relationships. Change is good (although not all change), but change is also hard. Sometimes I wish some things didn't have to change so much.

And yet I know God allows change to grow us and to prepare us to do His work, so I know I must accept it and not dwell on what used to be.

Pics from Palm Springs

2008-10-03T08:01:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures from my trip to Palm Springs with my grandmother, aunt and cousins - A girls weekend. We ate a lot of good food, got in some shopping, relaxed at the hotel, had manicures/pedicures, saw a movie and swam a little. It was so fun. I love being near them and being able to enjoy these times.

Galatians 6:9

2008-09-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

says, "Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Brent emailed me this verse earlier in the week. It has been a hard week this week. It seemed like there was discouragement all around us. Even as I type this we do not have a worship leader for tomorrow morning, which is only the icing on the cake. I have really felt like giving up. I know that is not what we are supposed to do, but I am weary. We had a couple visit our church last week who are interested in being church planters. They do not know us and yet they emailed saying they thought we seemed weary. I do not like it at all that people who visit our church can see that. And yet, aren't we supposed to be authentic? But, believe me, I was not trying to let that authenticity show. I have been praying through this all week, knowing that God is my strength. He carries us through these times that are so draining. This verse was an encouragement. Brent underlined the part that says "at the proper time." We don't know when that time is, but there is a time, and God does know it. I might add that we don't know what that harvest looks like either. Not all harvests are the same size. Our harvest could be a small one (like a garden grown in a backyard, rather than a farm!), I don't know, but I do know that I want to be obedient, and I certainly do not want to give up.

The sad part about the whole situation is that there have been so many encouraging things this week as well, but they have been hidden by the discouragement. So, for this moment, I want to document all the amazing things that God has done this week.

• Brent's parents were here this week. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have family here, and what a blessing it is that I have great in-laws! It was a very short and unexpected trip, but we enjoyed our 48 hours very much.

• Brent was able to share Jesus with our neighbors - the father, the mother, and the teenage son, and James invited the son to youth group, and he went. Hopefully they will be at church tomorrow.

• Speaking of James, he has been inviting lots and lots of kids to youth on Wednesday nights - I'm proud of him. And I am so thankful to Kevin who decided to lead a youth group, even though when he offered, James was the only teenager in the church.

• We had the opportunity to take the ministry vehicle to Cal State for the first week of classes and hand out ice cream as a support for Intervarsity. Brent was able to talk to some people about the church. There was also another man there who is planning to plant a church in the next few months, who we have become friends with who was also able to make an impact on the campus. The couple who leads Intervarsity stated they will be visiting church tomorrow.

• David's soccer coach from last year was married a while back. We have not had contact with her since last fall, but her new husband is now James soccer coach. They do not have a church and asked us about ours and stated they want to visit.

• I have another friend, who I have known for a few months who stated an interest in visiting also. She, too, is without a church home.

• Brent had his first men's breakfast this morning, and the guys had a great time sharing their stories with each other. Brent was encouraged greatly by this meeting.

• We will be having a women's night on Monday night in order to facilitate the women getting to know each other better. I'm looking forward to this. One of the women in the church took this on and has really done a great job of planning. Thanks Rhiannon!

• The people in our church are really neat, and we are enjoying getting to know them and learning about the way God has worked and is working in their lives. I am thankful for each and every person and am excited to be able to get to know them and have them get to know us better.

• Finally, a cool story . . . Last year we were at a birthday party and met this young couple who we visited with for a little while. A couple months ago we received a message from someone asking about the church. They just wanted to know what we believe and stuff like that. Brent called them back. They have a son, and she said they hadn't visited because services were at the same time as his nap, but they wanted to visit. They haven't come. Last night I was at a friend's house (the same friend from the birthday party a year ago) and there was this gal that Brent and I met last year. We spent the evening talking and hanging out. At some point she asked where we went to church so I told her. Can you believe it? In a city of 450,000+ people, this is the person who called about the church and the fact that her baby sleeps during service times. Isn't God amazing to put us where He puts us when He puts us there? They still have not found a church and have still been planning to attend, so I got to spend a little bit of time telling her about the church. She is nervous about leaving her son, but recently we put a speaker in a room just off the gym, with some toys and colors, for moms to use with their children as we have several who don't like to leave their kids. This sparked an even greater interest.

I post all this hesitantly. Who knows how many of the people I mentioned will visit and when, but what I am learning is that our timing means nothing. God's timing means everything. Only God could have facilitated that meeting last night. It's too cool! Even if they never visit our church, I hope God used us to plant seeds in each of these people's lives. I need to cling to Galatians 6:9, and I need to remember the positives when the negatives seem so big. In reality, there has been way more positive this week than negative, but I failed to see that initially. Please remind me of that when I am down and when I am tired. I need to press on and not grow weary while I wait for the proper timing.

Family and Friends

2008-09-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

I have felt incredibly blessed over the past few weeks to be able to spend great time with family and friends and am looking forward to Brent's parents visiting. They arrive tonight. First of all, I went to Chattanooga, Tennessee, and Lookout Mountain, Georgia, for Paige Weichbrodt's wedding. That is a beautiful part of our country that I had never seen. I enjoyed quality time with the Casselberry's, and had fun helping with the wedding. The Weichbrodt family was a little preoccupied, as they should have been, but they were still wonderful and encouraging, and it was fantastic to spend time with them, too. I especially enjoyed the late nights up talking with Caroline, the car ride from the airport with Zach and his girlfriend. Zach surprised me. I don't think I have had a real conversation with him since he became an adult. It was fun!! And the time I had with Becky Casselberry was wonderful. She is challenging and encouraging and makes me think. Plus, it's just fun to hear about her life!!! I also enjoyed seeing Covenant College - seeing Jonathan in his new place and getting to see Katie's dorm. I understand why several of the Weichbrodt and Casselberry kids have gone to school there. Caroline talks about the character of the students (and I am sure that is true and much more important) but it is also just beautiful. It was also very fun to be around Katie, even though my time with her was limited as she was trying to cover so many things at one time. Way to multi-task. I know she was tired, but she kept a beautiful smile and had a lot of fun. Thanks to all of you for letting me be apart of your families over the weekend and for the past 12 or so years.

Upon my return to California, the Rumph's were in Bakersfield. I knew that and thought I was going to miss them, but instead, we enjoyed the whole morning with them on Tuesday before they caught their plane. They were also able to attend church that Sunday, but I was not here. We were able to catch up and talk church stuff, as well as just stuff in the rest of our lives. Being around all three of these families did cause me to miss Bartlesville a bit, but more than that, it reminded me of how blessed I have been to have these families in my life. They are all such amazing role models! Thank you for involving us in your lives and in the lives of your kids. We feel so privileged to even know you!

The very next weekend after I returned from Tennessee, I met my grandmother, aunt and cousins in Palm Springs for a few days of shopping and just hanging out. We had a lot of great meals and spent as much time in whatever store we wanted without husbands or children hurrying us along. We played Uno, and Mary and I enjoyed the pool. We stayed in a nice hotel outside of Palm Springs. It was a nice, relaxing time.

A big thank you to Brent who was here alone two weekends in a row with the kids - not an easy thing these days! I am so thankful for the time away. It was refreshing. Now if Brent and I could just find time to get away together!

I don't have pictures as I didn't have my camera with me, but if you are on facebook, you can see pics from both weekends in my profile.

My Sweet Jason!

2008-08-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

This has not been the best week as far as my relationship with my older two kids. It seems that aliens have overtaken their bodies and caused them to make me crazy. They have been in a lot of trouble, just one thing after another - all little things in the whole scheme of life, but constant little things are frustrating. So, in the midst of all this, I was out for breakfast with my dear friend Amberly, who I so appreciate because I can tell her all my frustrations and my failures (in my parenting this week) and know that she still loves me and my boys. Thanks Amberly!!! As we were ending our time together this morning, she was telling me how great my boys are and just giving me a good reminder of that, which keeps things in perspective. As she was telling me that, I recalled a precious conversation I had with Jason last week and just wanted to post it, partly so I can refer back and remember and partly because it was just so wonderful!

We were in the car and for some reason we were talking about foreign exchange students. I said something about talking to James about those opportunities (not that I would really let him go, I don't think!!) because I think I would have liked that as a teenager had an opportunity posed itself. And James is a teenager now. Anyway, Jason said, "James would never go away for a year." We continued to talk about it for a few minutes, and he again said James would never go, so I asked him if he would, and he said he could never be away for that long. I said something like, "When you are older, you might think it would be fun. I would have enjoyed it when I was a teenager." To which he responded, "Mom, we are too connected to you to leave for so long."

I can't tell you how that warmed my heart. I know over the next seven years, he will grow and be ready to spread his wings and fly, but it brings me great joy that right now, he is so connected to us that he cannot fathom being anywhere else! What a sweet kid! I love him! I love them all, even when the weeks are difficult! This too will pass, but my relationship with my kids never will. They are still grounded, but I think after some time of venting with a friend and thinking through what's important, I owe them an apology and big hugs when they get home in a few minutes!!! Parenting is tough stuff! Those little glimpses that I am doing something right are precious!

I Proved Him Right!

2008-08-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

This evening while I was driving the kids home from swimming/gymnastics, James made the comment that he thinks technology makes us "dumber." His point being that we use so much technology that we don't have to use our brains like previous generations of people had to. I argued with him, though I did not have a good rebuttal. A few minutes ago, I was helping him with his algebra. I had no idea how to figure out the problem he was on, and none of the examples jogged my memory. In a very sweet voice, he said, "This is what I meant earlier when I said we are getting dumber. If you didn't have a computer to help you do all of this, I bet you would remember from when you were in school - no offense mom." I don't think he realized what he was saying until it had already left his mouth. Kind of funny! He caught me between a rock and a hard place because what I wanted to say is that I would never use that math even if there wasn't technology because, practically, it is unnecessary, but I don't want to say that and give him an argument for not liking math! I guess on some level he realizes it's not real practical because some where along the line he said, " . . . like when you do your taxes and stuff." I hope I am not making him seem sassy because he was really being sweet and just matter of fact in the conversation, not at all mouthy!

I don't know if James is right or not, but I definitely don't get an intelligence boost when I am helping the boys with math, either one of them, and Jason is only in 5th grade. And the thing is, I liked math and did well in it when I was in school. UGHH!!! How will I help them through high school, and how little will I remember when Sarah is going through all of this???

How Cool is Facebook!

2008-08-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

Several months ago, our great friends, Jeff and Courtney, got us signed up with Facebook. Some of our younger friends laughed at us after we joined because we are not using it for the intended purpose. I guess it wasn't so much set up to find long lost friends as it was to see what is going on and when and where the next event is, but I love it for the purpose that I use it. I love it when I find people I haven't heard from in a long time.

Yesterday I located a friend from high school, who I had not had contact with in probably 16 years - she's a little younger than I am, so I mentioned to her that it was half of her lifetime ago. The last time I saw her, she visited me at college my Freshman year. Years ago, finding people like her was unheard of, and yet we connected yesterday and got caught up on each other's lives. I heard about how God has been working in her and shared about how He has been working in me. We have both had a significant amount of heartache in the past 16 years and some amazing joys as well! I love the internet, and I love Facebook! Just wanted to share this fun little connection in my life that makes me smile!

If you happen to read this, Jenn, I'm praying for you, and I am so excited to have connected!!

First Day of School

2008-08-19T14:40:00.001-07:00

Here are a few pictures of our first day of school, which went very well. The first two are taken at home before they left for the day.

This was in his classroom at his desk. It was hard to believe David was going to kindergarten. He really liked it. My favorite part of the day was picking him up. I asked him how it was, he said, "It was awesome! But I missed you mom!" It made my day. I couldn't have asked him to say anything more perfect.
Sarah missed him terribly. She kind of just moped around the house. At one point I asked if there was anything I could do for her, she said, "Go pick up David." It was sweet and sad. She did better today.

Pics from Avila Beach

2008-08-13T22:44:00.001-07:00

Today we had a nice final family day before school starts - we went to Avila Beach, recommended by some friends. It was a really nice beach! The waves were not very big at all, which is a bummer for the older boys but nice for David and Sarah. While Sarah still wasn't sure about the water, she did get in up to her chest eventually. We had a lot of fun climbing in tide pools, finding sea urchins, swimming and digging deep holes. We finished with snow cones and a long walk down the pier. We had fun watching the pelicans diving straight down into the water after fish. I never realized that they sunk their whole bodies when they went after fish. It was fun to watch. We also saw a seal out in the water swimming. It was a fun day!

Yes, I'm Alive

2008-08-01T09:51:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I received an email asking this question!!! It's nice to know someone was wondering! We have had a busy, but good week. I thought I would post some pics. We are really trying to do a good job of taking a Sabbath for our family. We really need it after the hard weeks that we have. So we have been trying to do Sunday afternoon through Monday morning or all day Monday or something. It is going to be more complicated when school starts, but right now it is working well. Often we are so tired on Sunday afternoon that we (Brent & I) just sleep, but this week we decided to go and see the Kern Canyon. We have heard it is beautiful, and it begins at the northeastern part of town, so there really was no reason that we hadn't seen it, so we headed up there, and ended up driving through the whole canyon up to Lake Isabella. We got some good pics of the day.
This is one picture of the Kern Canyon and the Kern River. We have heard that it is one of the steepest rivers in the world, as well as one of the deadliest. It is beautiful, though!
Jason on top of some rocks on the beach of Lake Isabella.
All the guys on top of some rocks that were actually out in the lake, but not very deep.
James at the base of those same rocks.
Here are the kids playing on the beach.
Our intention was not for them to swim. I looked at a map before we went up and did not see any swimming beaches, but people were swimming when we got there, so plans changed. The kids all got in in their clothes. Sarah traveled home in her carseat in only wet panties!!! We wanted to stop and get ice cream - we ended up going through a drive through! It was fun, though!

We finally had approval from the insurance company to fix the wrap on Kaleo's ice cream truck, so Monday we had to take the truck down to LA to be left there for the install. Brent drove down in the truck and we followed him to pick him up and decided to spend the afternoon at the beach. Jason reminded me a couple weeks ago that he hadn't been at all this summer. If we are going to live that close to the ocean, we should be enjoying it, right? So we went to Santa Monica. The water was pleasantly warm for the Pacific Ocean. Even Brent and I swam. Sarah did not really like the waves, so she spent her time on the beach in the sand or cuddled under a towel. We ended the evening with dinner at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in Hollywood - a popular little dive. It was yummy!!! Here are a few pics from the beach.

We had something interesting happen at Santa Monica - there was a family swimming next to us. We noticed that the little boy was in his underwear, but we just figured he had forgotten his trunks (and probably he had). But when the parents got out of the water, they changed out of their wet clothes and into dry clothes, right there on the beach in front of everyone!!! They were not quick about it either. They took their time air drying and such. We concluded that they must be from Europe because they did not seem to think anything of what they were doing. There are some beaches around where that would not be unusual, but Santa Monica is not one of them!!! It was interesting. Amazingly enough, though they were right next to us, the kids never looked that direction. They never even knew it happened until we talked about it later.

It was a fun two days.

As for the earthquake, we did not feel anything. We didn't even know about it until Brent's dad called to check on us. Apparently some of our friends did feel it, but not us. My one friend who said she noticed it, said she did not really feel it, but she noticed her lights swinging randomly in the house. For those of you who wondered, thanks for thinking of us. Brent has felt an earthquake, but I have yet to experience one. There was one late at night one night when Brent was awake, but I was sound asleep and didn't feel a thing.

Brent, James and Jason are going overnight tonight on a day long mission trip to help build a house in Mexico. I am excited for them. You might say a prayer for their time away if you think about it!!! This is Kaleo's Gone for Good for the month! Pray for a friend who is going with them. It is a person who has really been asking lots of questions and seeking the Lord but who does not know Him. He wanted to go on the trip, though, so Brent will have some time with him. It's pretty cool. I have to go and work on getting things packed for them.

Fearless

2008-07-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

This has been the theme in my spiritual life lately. I think it is interesting how God places me in situations where I am learning the same concept in several areas all at once. Could it be that this is the only way I listen - I hope not, but I wonder . . . am I just like my kids????

So, here we go. I have to say that I feel that packing up my whole life and my family and moving away from the only place I have known as an adult and the longest place I have lived in my whole life was very bold. Especially to come to a completely unknown place to do such a risky thing - start something completely new without the budget that we really needed and without a lot of people to help us. It was a bold move, but after the last couple weeks, I realize it wasn't bold enough.

I was asked at the very last minute to go with a youth group of one of our sister churches to a Youth Conference called CIY - Move. While I enjoyed getting to know the teens better and being able to pour into their lives a bit, God did not make this happen for them. I'm quite sure he had the other leader drop at the last minute and gave Chris the idea to ask me to go because I needed to hear the words those speakers were saying. They spoke about so many things, but the two things that impacted me most was that the Holy Spirit gives us the power we need (Acts 1:8) and that we need to be bold in going out and telling others about the love of Jesus and the fact that he died and rose for our sins. What an amazing gift that is and I hide it for fear of scaring people away! For too long I have waited around for people to come and say to me, "I want to know about Jesus." Not many people actually use those words. How many people have said that in different ways, but I have not heard it? Or how many people never asked, but would have changed their lives had I given the opportunity? How many times has God wanted to use me in that way, but I haven't let Him, so He's given someone else that privilege? Ouch!

Interestingly enough, just before we left, I hit the bookstore to see about a couple books to read and a new Bible study book. I had heard that the afternoons were down times and good for reading. I did get a little reading done, but not a lot. Anyway, I picked up a study on Joshua called Live Fearlessly from the Fresh Life Bible Study Series, which I highly recommend. I wanted a study on Joshua because I just finished a study on Deuteronomy, not because it was about living fearlessly. I don't even know that I noticed the title before we got to the conference and I began to see the theme in my life. Again, just more conviction on how I really am not very bold when it comes to actually sharing the gospel with adults.

There are a million reasons why this is the case - some excuses, some probably legitimate reasons. When we were discussing boldness at the conference, we did talk about the types of bold we do not want to be - mean or bible thumping - we don't want to scare people off. That is probably my main reason, but there comes a time when that is no longer a legitimate reason, rather an excuse. I think when we really want to be bold, we are listening to God and waiting for opportunities and then seizing them. He provides those open doors all the time, if we are willing to walk through them.

I still struggle with this and am praying constantly that when there is an open door I will be bold enough to share. And praying for forgiveness for all of the times that I have failed to listen closely to God.

Dawn in the Dishwasher

2008-07-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what happens when you put Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher? Probably not - common sense probably tells you the answer without having to do the experiment; not in my house . . .
Tonight the boys were loading the dishes. There were two things that couldn't go in the dishwasher, so James asked what to do with them. I said to wash them with dish soap. At the same time, Jason held up the dawn and asked if it was the right stuff, so I answered yes. We have this communication problem in our house over and over - you would think that I would learn, but not yet. A few minutes later Brent yelled from the kitchen. The floor was covered with bubbles that were escaping from the dishwasher.
Jason was asking if the dawn was the right stuff for the dishwasher, and I was answering James question about what soap to use on the two extra things. Ugh!!! It wasn't a big deal, since we were home. We just got the shop vac and sucked it all up. We got a good laugh out of it, too. Maybe next time I will ask Jason to be more specific in his questions, but probably not - it was an innocent mistake on both of our parts.

We had a nice dinner with new friends tonight. Thanks Bill and Dominique if you read this. It's nice to get to know them better. They home school their kids and have a pretty cool philosophy on education. It was fun to hear a little about it and to talk to them about the vision God has given us for Kaleo. Then we went to set up church. We are definitely back in the swing of things after our long vacation. We had a nice time being gone, but we are also glad to be back.

We came back to some difficult news. Our neighbor died in a car accident while we were gone. He was at the top of Brent's list as far as people to get to know better and to talk to about Jesus. It is our understanding from the family that he did know the Lord, and we hope that is true, but it was heartbreaking. He has two or three children, one of which we had in our home a lot. Brent was already scheduled to teach on evangelism when we returned, and it was tough. He did an amazing job, though. It has really made us think about how little time we have and how we have to seize every moment we can. It is a fine line we walk. It's nice to be invited into somebody's life in order to be able to tell the story of Jesus to them, but we can't wait too long. It takes lots of prayer and really watching for every opportunity. This is my current conviction. I know that I don't seize every opportunity like I should. I am praying that I will see doors that God opens for me to speak truth to people who do not know Him.

At the last minute I was asked to go as a leader to a youth retreat down at Biola University this coming week with one of our partner churches. I think it will be fun. It's always a little stressful to leave the kids when Brent has so much to do, but we think it will be a good opportunity for me personally and a great opportunity for me to help CCV. So, five days without kids - it's been a very long time!! I will have to update when it is over. I'm not sure if I am looking forward to it or not (being away from the kids, that is.)

It's been a while . . . Some amazing blessings

2008-07-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

I have been so incredibly busy and have not had time to blog in almost a month, and not consistently for even longer. I wanted to just share some of the amazing blessings in my life in the last six weeks.

We had an amazing week at Pine Cove for family camp! I cannot tell you what a tremendous blessing this time of reflection, refreshing and encouragement this week was. We are so thankful for all of our friends at camp who are so encouraging and such great supporters of our ministry.

We had a great time in Bartlesville, Oklahoma with friends and family. It was busy and we did not see tons of people who we desperately wanted to see. There are not enough hours in the day. We are sorry for those of you who we missed, and we are grateful for every moment spent with those we saw.

Brent's back is still hurting, but he made the trip without too much more pain. He will see a back specialist on Tuesday, July 8th.

We missed our friends back in Bakersfield while we were gone. Might seem like a silly blessing, but I am so thankful that God has provided relationships here with people who we miss when we are away.

The kids finished school and finished well - we are about half way through summer - won't be long before we are starting again - this time with three in school.

God has provided more work for me through the adoption unit in Oklahoma. I am so thankful, as nothing here has worked out as of yet. I am still looking for something part time.

We've had new families visit the church and are very excited about everyone who is involved at Kaleo.

I'm sure the list could go on and on and as I think of things, I will add them, but I am off for now, as I still need to clean up the house before bed.

I've Been Tagged

2008-06-08T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is a fun little game that bloggers play, so I guess being tagged officially makes me a blogger! The rules are as follows:
1. Post the rules!
2. Answer the questions about yourself
3. At the end of the post, list 5-6 people you would like to tag and leave a comment on their blog letting them know.
4. Let the person who tagged you know that you posted your answers.

So here goes....

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
I had just gone back to work after a three month maternity leave when I had Jason. I was missing him terribly, and he was refusing to take a bottle. I went to work after feeding him, then ran to the babysitters at lunch to nurse him again, then ran after work and nursed him again. In between times, the babysitter worked hard to get him to take a bottle. It was tough! I was also realizing that doing adoptive placements was too much for me (I was making decisions only God should make - and I was struggling with it!) and I was missing the kids, so I was looking for other job options and had interviewed for school social work position, working teachers hours. (I learned a lot about "teacher's hours"! Our teachers do not get enough credit for the work they do!

2. What are 5 things on your To-Do list today?
It is 9:00, so hopefully not much today, but tomorrow - Continue with my cases, continue cleaning my house, get James ready to leave Tuesday for the Beach Bash with the youth, start packing for our trip, work on getting things done for the church for while we are gone.

3. What are some snacks you enjoy?
Ice Cream!!! I really like, and you may think this is crazy, the king sized Nestle Drumstick - vanilla with chocolate swirl.

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
I would be so excited that we could do ministry without a care in the world. Brent could drop his salary and we could build a really cool family life center/gym that could also be used as a church. I would also take a little of it and take our family on a cruise, which I have always wanted to do. I would give money to Pine Cove to cover scholarships, or probably just pay for specific families to attend. I could keep typing and typing ideas that pop in my head, so I won't.

5. What are 3 of your bad habits?
My worst habit is that it still bite my nails - yes, I'm 35 years old. It's horrible. I'm always in a hurry and fail to stop and smell the roses.

6. What are 5 places you have lived?
El Paso, Texas; Atkinson, Nebraska; Gillette, Wyoming; Bartlesville, Oklahoma; Bakersfield, California

7. What are 5 jobs you have had?
Retail, waitress, tutoring, social worker, Assistant to Children's Director at church

8. What is currently playing on your IPOD?
I don't have one.

9. What are the last 5-6 books you have read?
I'm a terrible reader - I start and do not finish most of the time. I did read two great books in the past year - Raising Kids for True Greatness by Tim Kimmel and God Never Wastes a Hurt by Jim Reeves. I have started some others that are listed to the right, but I have not finished them. I have read some great books to the kids. A Father's Promise was the most recent one.

10. Who do you want to tag?
Caroline
Katie
Becky C.
Becky P.
Rhiannon S.

Sarah's Birthday Came and Went

2008-05-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

and I just realized I never blogged about her like I did the rest of the kids. Things got a little crazy some time in April, and it hasn't slowed down. Brent did blog about each of the kids recently, and I think he described each of the kids marvelously. Rather than going back through it all, I thought I would just put a link to his blog about Sarah. So here it is.

She is such an amazing little girl. I am so glad that God gave her to us! She makes us all smile A LOT!!!

I'm sorry I missed a post on her birthday, but we did have a nice evening of ice cream and a trip to the park. It was beautiful outside that night, and we just enjoyed the evening. She is three, and I cannot believe three years has passed. Where does the time go?

Like a swarm of Locusts . . . a welcome swarm!

2008-05-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

To give a quick update on Brent's back, he is doing better, but he is still in pain and cannot lift much of anything. He can walk, which is a huge praise. He had a massage this week, provided by one of the people who attends our church (Thank you so much!) and he saw the doctor yesterday and will be seeing a specialist in a couple weeks. In the meantime, he is supposed to take it as easy as he can, which is hard, but he is doing it. The pain forces him to have to slow down. But life goes on and things still have to get done.

So tonight we were about 30 minutes from leaving to go and set up for church when we got a phone call from a man who has been so great to come from another church each week to help set up, and he usually brings some other people to come. We were counting on him tonight, and Brent had also gotten a call from a couple other friends who offered to help, so we had a couple extras, but we were down a couple also, as Bill is out of town this weekend, and Eric is not here. Anyway, the call at 6:00 was Rick apologizing because he had forgotten to tell us, but he was in Mexico on a mission trip and was just crossing the border back into California, and there was no way he would be here in time to help us. Brent got off the phone and we started trying to figure out what to do since he can't really lift anything, and now there would only be one other man and two women, and James and Jason, who can be very helpful but aren't always!!! Brent made four phone calls. The first - there was no answer; the second - there was an answer but he was at work; the third said he could come but he would be late but he would try to find some others; the fourth said he could come and would bring a few teens to help. We headed off to the facility to get started. Matt and Becky showed up pretty quickly and Becky and I got busy moving all the gymnastics equipment away while Matt and James unloaded stuff from the storage unit and brought it around to the gym. Pretty soon another man showed up and jumped right in. Then a couple showed up. Then a couple more adults. Then the youth pastor with about 8 teens/young adults and another adult. There were people EVERYWHERE to help us, almost more than we could to give instructions to. It was absolutely overwhelming (in the best sense of the word)!!! I cannot begin to thank all of them and to thank God for once again providing and meeting our needs. I am excited to see what tomorrow holds - maybe nothing new, but maybe something great! Who knows?

Thanks for all your prayers for Brent's back. It was a long week. Sarah ran a fever most of the week, from Sunday until Thursday. David had a fever for a short time on Thursday and then again on Friday, but he was never as sick as Sarah. James was home from school one day sick. I am loooking forward to a week of healthy children and hopefully a husband who is more mobile than last week! Right now I am just praying that he gets through tomorrow morning as I know the pain is pretty bad.

Brent's back

2008-05-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

Last night we were setting up at church and Brent messed his back up pretty bad. For those of you who do not know, he has had back problems off and on. A few years ago, his back gave out in Bartlesville and he was in bed for at least a week. I can't remember exactly how long it was now. We saw a neurosurgeon in Bartlesville whose opinion was that he should wait as long as possible for surgery but that ultimately he will need it one day. His dad had back surgery a few years ago, so it seems that it is genetic. The doctor in Bartlesville said he has the back of a fifty year old, plus he has two degenerated discs. So last night while we were setting up for church, he did something while lifting. After we were done setting up, we came home and he took a muscle relaxer and laid down. We woke up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready for church, he and absolutely could not stand without excrutiating pain - pain enough that it brought tears to his eyes. We were a little stressed to say the least. Eric's last Sunday was last week ,and while he probably would have come to help, he was/is in Seattle so he could not. We don't have anyone in our group that we know of who can teach, especially at the very last minute. We already knew that another "retired" pastor friend who has taught at Kaleo before was leading worship at his home church, so we were really at a loss. We thought we might show something of Craig Groeshel - what an amazing man who is willing to let others use resources from lifechurch.tv at no cost - but when we went to download it, it showed that it would take too long to download, so that option was out. So, we called our coach and friend, David, at 5:30 a.m. I got in the shower and started praying that if I was going to have to talk, God would give me something to say and settle my anxiety over all that was going on in our lives, all the time really praying that God would just fix the situation or make me sick also!!! My nerves were shot. But God provided! I received a phone call at 7:15 from a man at David's church who stated he would be willing to come and speak. He had just delivered a message at his church that fits with the new series Brent was starting today. What a willing servant - to come and give of himself at such late notice. We are so grateful for people who are just willing to say yes when God calls them to something. He got up and introduced himself and stated that he is not a great speaker. All I could think was that God was using him despite what he thinks are weaknesses, just because he was willing to go when called! So we made it through the morning, and all I had to do was stand up and tell everyone where my husband was and give a couple announcements. Yay!!!

Please pray that Brent's back would start feeling better quickly and that we would know what steps to take next. Surgery right now seems like bad timing, but when is good timing? I would rather he get to feeling better and get some exercise and see if it can just wait a little longer, though.

Ready for School to End!!!

2008-05-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

I am SOOOOO ready for school to end! I love the lack of schedule that we have to have when we are on summer break. I love waking up late and staying up late! I love not having to go to school functions! I love not having homework!!! I'm thankful that there is school to force me to be on a schedule and help the children with important disciplines that they need, but I'm glad we have three months off from the schedule!!!

This week has been incredibly busy. James school is having a book fair and Jason's school is having open house, which is a BIG deal, at least this year, as it is the first year for this school to be open. I have gotten myself very busy helping with parent club things, which is fun but exhausting also. So I have been working to sell raffle tickets and prepare for the raffle we will be having at Jason's open house in the morning, and going to James school to sell books in the afternoon. David and Sarah have been placed on the back burner this week, which is okay every now and then, but still hard for them. Brent has been able to be home working while they have been napping so I could go to the schools. I love it that my kids want me around and in their classes and I figure I should enjoy that. Some moms are not as blessed in this way! And it is a great opportunity for me to see the environment that they spend much of their day in and to see them around their peers. They make me very proud! They both have nice friends and a good group of them, and they are both living out their faith in a place that can be very difficult, especially James! It's been a huge transition for them, but they have done very, very well!!!

All of this busyness in my life is my reason for not blogging lately. I wll get back in the swing of things soon, but right now this is what is important, and the fact that I am tired at night but still need to cook dinner, clean a house and complete casework doesn't make for much blogging! However, after the last three comments on my previous post, I thought I better get something on here! It did make me laugh!! Thanks Dalene and Marci! I miss you guys - all of my Oklahoma friends! Can't wait to see you in June! Another great reason why I like for school to be out!

I Got FIRED!!!

2008-04-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

I've never been fired before - I guess there is always a first! But I didn't expect my first experience of being fired to be done by my own son, or by a five year old!!!! I didn't even know a five year old knew the concept of being fired, but yes, he used it appropriately. We were driving along in the car - that seems to be a popular place for him to get a smart mouth these days. That, in itself, is quite intelligent, as I cannot reach him in our huge van!!! I told him no about something. At the moment I cannot remember what it was. After a couple minutes - probably more like 30 seconds - he calmly said, "Mom, you're fired!" I never know if I should try to control my laughter or just let it out. Truthfully, he would be lost if I truly was fired. Of course, I tried to explain this to him, but he does NOT understand that part. He does not understand that he would not have someone to pour him juice or do his laundry or cook his dinner or lunch or any of the other MILLION things I do for him each day. He also does not understand how, on some level, being fired (for a day or two anyway) is appealing on some level (and even more so on a week when his dad is out of town)!!! Some day I will enjoy sharing all these crazy stories with him. Parenting note to self: If I am trying to raise him to be a respectable adult, he needs to learn that the can't just fire someone because he does not get his way, and maybe more importantly, that he cannot fire his boss!!!

What a Nice Weekend!!!

2008-04-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

I'm just sitting down after having cleaned a flat of strawberries, which I bought on the side of the road during our drive to the beach yesterday! I love strawberries! I have some in the freezer and some in these new "green bags" my mother told me about that are supposed to help fruit last longer, and a few I am eating!! They are delicious!!!

The boys are all in bed, but Sarah is lying beside me. She is usually out so fast, but she can't seem to settle down tonight. Brent is gone for a few days to the National New Church Conference in Florida. I am praying that it is an encouraging and refreshing time for him.

We enjoyed our weekend so much. We haven't had so much down time since before we launched the church, and it was very much needed. On Friday night we met some friends at the park for a picnic and let the kids play until after dark. It was nice. The weather was pretty. These are pics of the kids from the playground. The older boys spent most of their time on scooters, but the little ones enjoyed the playground.

Boys never cease to amaze me with their play. These contraptions are spinning things that if you stand up and pull yourself into the pole, you spin faster, but if you lean back, you slow down. David, Mason and Hayden decided to turn it into a knock down game. One of them would hold hold onto the handles. Another would start it spinning, then the one who was holding on would knock down the other two while spinning in circles. They were laughing and laughing. Kari and I just sat back and laughed, waiting for the laughter to turn to tears. Amazingly enough, it never did!!!

On Saturday, we went to Sycamore Beach in Ventura to meet with other church planters from Christian Associates. I have not even seen any of them since we made the move. It was a cloudy day and was quite cold outside, especially because of the wind. In the end, we left and went to a friend's house. But it was a very nice day! We just relaxed and enjoyed visiting with everyone and hearing where they all are in their ministries. All the families came and the kids all enjoyed playing with each other.

I never actually felt the water, but it is the Pacific Ocean - not really known for it's warm water. And, on top of that, the air was cool too, cold some of the time. But that did not stop the boys from getting in the water. They enjoyed chasing and running from waves. Steve and Linda's daughter is James' age, and the boys got along with her very well. Last July when we were near this same beach, just about a mile down, we saw a lot of dolphins, swimming very near shore. Apparently, this is a popular location for them because we saw a bunch again yesterday. I was even able to see two of them jump completely out of the water. It was gorgeous!

Here are a bunch of the kids on the trampoline together at the home that we ended up at. It is the coolest place. This family, who currently lives in Amsterdam on the mission field, bought this home with quite a bit of land and this old beautiful home. They have a huge barn that is used for parties and receptions. They rent it out for weddings. While they are away, they are renting it to some friends, who were so gracious to allow us to come over last minute and hang out. They even made us some delicious chocolate chip cookies. They are people with amazing gifts of hospitality. Brent and I had been there a couple years ago when we went through assessment with Christian Associates. It was much warmer here than at the beach!

I'm thankful for the relaxing day we had and for the people we were able to share the time with. Christian Associates is just full of fabulous men and women who are trying to make such an impact on the Kingdom! I'm honored to be a part of what they are doing!

When things are down . . .

2008-04-18T14:54:00.000-07:00

it makes you appreciate little, or big, blessings even more! It's been a tough week, as I have posted, but God is good ALL THE TIME!!! Even when things are "bad", we praise Him because of who He is. That is all that is important. I look at Job, which I have been reading lately, and all of the things that we have struggled through this week pale in comparison! While I don't always understand why things happen, I am grateful that I believe in a God who controls the universe, the big things and the little things. For whatever reason, He allowed our ministry vehicle to be covered with graffiti and did not allow us to find anything that would remove it. He allowed us to owe on our taxes, but as we studied in Crown Financial several times, "Everything in the Heavens and Earth are Yours, O Lord!" And he knew the other things that we would go through this week were going to happen, and He will use them to strengthen and stretch us as long as we allow Him to. So I continue to praise him and continue to see the good in the painful/frustrating circumstances.

I say all that, but I also want to tell you that God has blessed us immensely this week. We had set aside this week for Brent to get ready to go to Florida Sunday and for him to complete our banners as this was the last week of the free banners that we won. We were going to go ahead and have small group but then the thing with the truck happened, we were emotionally drained, so we cancelled. We spent some time that evening with our children, something they needed very much. Then Brent got busy on banners. He was up until the early hours of the morning two nights in a row trying to finish banners. Then yesterday, Brent called me while I was out with some beautiful news. The people at Group Imaging called. Our free banners are not over until June 30th. Brent won them at the National New Church Conference last year, which is what he is going to next year, so we just assumed it was over at the time of the conference, but we were wrong!!! We don't know where the June 30th date came from, but Brent was able to come to bed at the same time as me last night, we had some good conversation before drifting off to sleep and, and enjoyed our evening. Thanks to Group Imaging for the free banners. Thanks, God, for giving us something extra to smile about this week. You so didn't need to; we are not worthy. You have already done enough for us, enough that we should continue to praise You and exude the joy that comes only from knowing Jesus regardless of our circumstances. Hopefully we were doing that despite the feelings within of anxiousness, frustration and sadness!

Just wanted to share a bit of good news with everyone! Thanks for your continued prayers, especially regarding the circumstances with the truck. Please pray for the child who did it! I doubt he will be caught, but I want him to, not for the purpose of punishment, but for the purpose of help!

Graffiti - Why?

2008-04-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is a post from my blog on raisingbakersfield.com, a new website through the newspeper here that I and several other people were asked to blog on regularly for a few months until there is more site content and people aware of the site. Anyway, i thought those of you not from Bakersfield might want to know one of the things going on in our crazy lives right now.

What causes people to graffiti things? I know that sometimes it is gang-related, but often it is not. Is it boredom? Is it anger or hate? I just can't figure it out. Usually it does not affect me too often, though I don't like my kids to see it, but today was a different story. I mentioned in my introduction that we moved here to start a new church. One of the things we have for our church, donated by some wonderful friends and a wonderful printing company, is a very fun ice cream and events truck, equipped with a bounce house and portable video/sound equipment to show movies or play Wii. We saw this at another church and thought it would be a great way to be a presence in the community, to do outreach and service events. We take the truck to different places and give out free ice cream, set up the bounce house, and get to know new people. We have taken it to a school, to several parks, around neighborhoods, to the League of Dreams opening day baseball games, which was a fabulous event. There were several children, who would not otherwise be able to bounce in a bounce house who were able to that day. It is such a fun and wonderful tool. Well, today, my husband went over to the lot where we park it. Mind you it is behind a locked gate where a portion of the wall is cement. When he pulled up to it, he saw something that completely horrified (among many other emotions) him. It is covered with graffiti, and terrible graffiti at that. The people (who are pictured on the wrap) are now anatomically correct, outside of their clothing, and there is terrible language all over it, as well as racial comments. I don't understand why someone would have done this to something like this. We don't know that it can be cleaned off, and it will be terribly expensive to repair. It is something that we hoped would be used for so much good, and for a while it is unavailable for that. We are sad - sad because we can't use it, sad because someone did this. We keep wondering what kind of pain that person might be in. This does not appear in any way to be a gang related situation. In fact, it appears to have been done by a child. Anyway, we are bummed. We loved taking it to parks and giving out ice cream and having great conversations with people. I would love to get to the bottom of this graffiti thing, but I'm sure I am not the only one. I do hope we can figure out a way to repair the damage that has been done.

Satan's Working Overtime

2008-04-14T16:59:00.001-07:00

I can't get into a lot of details right now, but if you read this, will you please pray for us. It has been a crazy couple of days with so much stuff that I believe to be spiritual warfare. Just so you know, our marriage is fine, and our health is good, and all is well with the kids. So, in the whole scheme of things, we are really okay, but there is a bunch of other garbage going on that is difficult. Please pray for wisdom and patience and for God to decrease the anxiety. I know there is nothing helpful about worrying and being anxious, and I just keep repeating, "Be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, present your requests to the Lord." But moving it from my brain to my heart is always a struggle for me!

"The Other Becky"

2008-04-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

Some of you may be wondering why that is the title I give to Becky Casselberry who is listed in my "blogs I read" column, so I decided I would tell a cute story about James.

We have known the Casselberry's since James was three (what a privelege to know them!). David and Caroline joined our small group in Bartlesville, and Becky joined a teen small group Brent and I were leading when she was about 15, I think. Anyway, we were around Becky a lot, and James knew my name was Becky also. Somehow having two Becky's confused him. He always called Becky Casselberry "The Other Becky."

James has always had a very soft heart for the Lord and has always been much more knowlegeable about Scripture and spiritual things than a lot of children his age (sometimes than his mother). He asked Jesus to live in his heart when he was three. My other children had no clue what that even meant at that age, but we truly believe that James understood. Anyway, he knew Becky came to our house regularly for Bible Study. He knew the Casselberry's and their love for the Lord. When he was about five years old, the Franklin Graham Festival was in Bartlesville. Brent was involved with it, and we attended it most, if not all, nights. They recruited people, adults and teens, to go forward with others at the end of the night - to pray with them and be supportive. Becky Casselberry was one of those teens. So, this one night that we were there (I don't think we were sitting with Becky), James noticed that Becky got up and when forward when they gave the alter call. It was deeply concerning to James; he was just so sure that Becky already knew Jesus, so he could not understand why she would go up front. He did not really understand the whole concept of her going as a peer counselor. I remember him looking at me with concern and saying, "Why is The Other Becky going down there?"

We have enjoyed that story about James and Becky for many years and tell it frequently when we are all together! I love it that we have friends that our children cannot remember life without, and that those friends are people like the Casselberry's who have poured so much into our lives and in whose lives I hope we have been able to pour into also! We love them and miss them!

Unfortunately, James has outgrown his name for Becky and he has also outgrown his very raspy little voice that we all so loved! I can still hear it when I think back and remember. And now that my eyes are filling with tears over how fast time passes, I think I will be done!

Jason's Birthday

2008-04-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Jason's birthday came and went, and I failed to post about it, like I did everyone else's. March gets a little crazy around here with four birthdays! Anyway, we didn't have a party for Jason yet. It looks like it is going to be the beginning of May before that happens due to my lack of planning. We did take him out for dinner on his birthday and then to purchase his birthday present. He put all his birthday money together and had enough money to buy a digital camera, so we ordered one. Unfortunately, it wasn't in stock at the time.

I thought at one point that I should blog about my children's births, but I haven't, so maybe I will start with him. Of all my kids, Jason's delivery was my easiest. He was eight days late - UGHHH!!! But when it happened, it was pretty easy. I woke up early in the morning with what I thought were contractions. I went back to sleep and woke up again later. I decided to take a shower and get ready for the day. I continued to have contractions, so when I was all ready, we called the hospital. They did not have an available bed, so they asked if I could wait a little while longer. We got James around and took him over to Brent's sister's house. We called the hospital again. My contractions were now about three minutes apart. They said to go ahead and come on in to the hospital. But when we got there, they still did not have a bed, so they put our stuff in an extra room and asked us to go walk around. We did.

Before this next part, you must know that my small group members, as well as about every other person who knew me, were well aware of my desperation to not be pregnant anymore. For those of you who do not run late, it is miserable, or so it seems at the time. Anyway, as we were walking, we ran into Ann and Cindy. Ann teased us that coming to the hospital would not cause the baby to be born. I said I was in labor, and she didn't seem to believe me, so she just teased and talked to us, while I was having contractions. At one point, Cindy said to her, something like, "She's telling the truth - she's having a contraction." It was so funny! I love Ann - she's absolutely the best! She did finally decide that I must have known what I was talking about.

The hospital finally had a bed available for me - I don't remember how much longer, but we were maybe at the hospital an hour before we got a room. I went in, decided to have an epidural, got one and delivered Jason after just three pushes at 5:00 in the evening. I had no idea that having a baby could be so simple. I pushed James for something like three hours and he had a LOT of problems with his heart (as did David and Sarah), and it was scary and stressful. Jason did scare me a bit when he cried and cried for the next several hours. I was so afraid of what I was up against, but I guess he got it out of his system because he was a pretty good baby after that night.

He did actually have some heart issues, but his were after birth. We were awoken by the on call pediatrician at about 5:00 a.m. the next morning teling us that he was puttng him on a heart monitor for observation as there had been some concerns about his heart rate, but after he was monitored for a while, all was well!

The other thing about Jason's birth is that the day I arrived home from the hospital, I broke out in hives. They were covering my body, from my scalp to the bottom of my feet. It was the most miserable experience of my life. It felt terrible. It looked terrible. It lasted forever - off and on for 6 weeks - even with a bunch of steroids. It began a long process of trying to determine what I am allergic to - the decision - who knows? Even after a lot of testing and eliminating things - I broke out after both David and Sarah, too. I will hit those stories at a later date!

I think the coolest thing about giving birth to Jason was having a child put in my arms who was not going to need immediate ongoing medical treatment. James had a cleft lip - it was very minor and not a difficult fix, but we did not know that when he was first delivered. All through my pregnancy with James I prayed for a healthy baby. I was excited when we had an ultrasound and saw ten fingers and ten toes, but I don't think I ever really believed that anything could possibly be wrong with my baby. I was completely shocked when he was born with a cleft. God is good and He provided amazing people to walk us through the situation, and in the end, it was very minor, but I suddenly knew what it was to give birth to a baby who was not "perfect." It was a reality. I knew when I was pregnant with Jason, that anything could happen. Even though doctor's were pretty certain he was healthy, they could make no guarantees. I remember holding him and having such a great feeling knowing that there were no surgeries in our future. It was a very peaceful feeling - not to have to run home and start researching about medical conditions or for the best doctors.

Jason has grown to be such a charming little boy. He is a good friend to others most of the time. He is sensitive and includes everyone. We were able to be up at his school this week for his track meet. I am up there regularly, but he is always in the classroom, and I don't really watch him socially, like at the track meet. It was fun! A little scary at times - girls really like him - but fun! Luckily, he doesn't seem to care much about girls. He likes them but no differently than he likes the boys! They're just all chums!

Anyway, here are a couple pics of Jason and some of his school friends. These are the ones he spends the most time with at school. I am proud to be his mother!

Easter, etc.

2008-03-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

I was going to post a picture and write about Easter, but the pictures are not very good. The lighting was terrible, and really it didn't feel much like Easter. My poor kids didn't even get to hunt easter eggs. I did get them baskets, but I did not get any pictures of them with their baskets. It was just a bad year for any of that. It's a good thing that these traditions are not what Easter is all about. Thankfully, whether it's a "good" Easter or a "bad" Easter, Jesus still died for us and still rose again! That is what it is all about - the rest shouldn't matter. It's always a good Easter because I will be spending eternity with Jesus! (If you think I am trying to make myself feel better for not being more on top of it, you are probably right!) Church went well - we had at least seven new family units visiting, and regardless of what Brent says, I think his sermon must have been good. I was in children's ministry so I didn't hear it, but we have received a lot of compliments! We know that at least a couple of those families will be returning, so that is exciting! It was a beautiful day outside, and we were able to stand outside and talk with the visitors after church while the kids played on the bounce house. It was a great morning!

Beyond Easter, I have a couple funny David stories. To add on to the speech therapy blog. Today, he went for his second session. He was so excited to go to school. On our way home after that and after running a couple errands, I asked if he wanted to go to the park. He said he did not. I said it would be fun because he would be able to play with friends. He said, no because he had already played with a friend this morning. The only place we had been was to the school, where he is in speech alone with only the therapist, so I asked which friend. He said, "My friend at school who plays games with me!" Yes, that would be the speech therapist - they play card games to help with enunciation!

The second story is this. We were in the Dollar Tree today. Some music was playing and a new song came on. Only the opening few notes had played when David said, "This sounds like Everybody Dance Now." First of all, I did not know he was paying attention, nor did I know that he knew that song title, not to mention what music it went with, and he was ABSOLUTELY correct. It was that song. The lady behind the counter burst into laughter. Furthermore, David started dancing. And when I told him to stop so we could walk outside, he said that his body wouldn't let him stop dancing when that song was playing! This has become a new excuse for him. Yesterday his body wouldn't stop going to get the Gameboy when it was off limits. While it is cute at times, like when he was dancing today and not doing anything wrong, it is not okay when it is an excuse for disobedience. However, might I say that he is so darn cute in his disobedience. IT'S TERRIBLE!!!!

Now to talk about how proud I am of Jason. I was at his school today with David and stopped in to take some stuff to Jason's classroom. His teacher proudly announced to me that Jason made the HONOR ROLL. This is a HUGE deal! He has struggled so much this year and has worked hard to get caught up both at school and in tutoring. He did not think he could ever make the honor roll, and he did it! In addition to that, his teacher told me that Jason was supposed to be Student of the Month this month, but they could not get in touch with us to let us know. So, he will be Student of the Month next month. I am so very pround of him. He has worked so hard!

David Goes to Speech Therapy

2008-03-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that David's speech is at times less than intelligible! While it has improved, it is still tough to understand, unless you are us! Today was his first appointment with the speech therapist, who I just found to be wonderful! I took David to Jason's school, which he was sooooooo excited about. He thinks he should be in school since he turned five. We walked into the therapists office, and he (the therapist) stood up and said, "Hi, I'm John." To which David reached out his hand and said, "Hi John! I'm David!" as if it were a peer and they were 20 years old! They then did the little evaluation, which proved just as I suspected. I told them that David does not enunciate or say final consonants, which is exactly what happened in the evaluation. He can say all of his sounds correctly (even his Rs, which are usually last to develop - between ages 5 and 7), if he just takes the time to do it, but he just doesn't. There is no way to correct a child who does not say there final consonant on nearly every word. You would never get through a whole sentence without complete frustration on the part of the adult and child. John said that David has created his own dialect, and needs to be taught proper English. On the positive side, he said he can understand 75% of what David says, and with many children, he can only understand about 25%. I guess that made me happy. It's not as bad as I thought! He will continue to see David a few times, but also gave me some activities to do with David at home. David talked about school a lot today. He loved going and is excited to do the exercises, so I think it will be fun! David going to school is going to be so interesting. His teacher will either love him, or He will drive him/her crazy. It was nice that John saw the good in him even though he was wiggly and up and down in his chair and changing subjects, etc. David kept him laughing through much of the one hour session with all the little things he says. I pray for a teacher who will see the positives in David in order to make up for the thinks that drive many teachers crazy. He CANNOT sit still. We practice, and it is terribly hard! And he talks A LOT, and apparently in his own dialect!! But he is one amazing kid, and I truly can't imagine our home without the joy that he brings!

Pictures!!!!

2008-03-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

These are pictures of David's birthday party. We had it in our backyard and the kids played in the newly built sandbox! Brent finished it about 30 minutes before the party!!! He has always wanted a sandbox for the kids - he has fond memories of his when he was a child! They are enjoying it (all four of them), as you can see from the pictures below.

This is what Sarah looked like when she woke up this morning. This is not terribly abnormal, although this morning it seemed extreme! It is amazing how much different curly hair is in the morning, as opposed to straight hair!

Finally, here is a picture of "a lot of Davids." David is fascinated by how many images of himself he can see when he puts the mirrors just right! He always says, "Look, it's a lot of Davids!"

My sister-in-law, Kylee, has been asking for more pictures. She has so many of her kids on her blog, but I get frustrated waiting for them to upload. Hopefully, you will see this Kylee!

A Refreshing Weekend AND a Good Monday

2008-03-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to everyone for your encouraging words on my last post. I am doing okay, really. And while I say that church planting is hard, it is rewarding and wonderful too! I hope I didn't give anyone the wrong impression!

We had a really, really nice weekend. We were able to get out for a few hours on Friday evening with some friends (the owners of the facility where we meet for church). It was such a nice time. They are a fabulous couple with lots to teach us and who are very encouraging to us also. We had David's birthday party on Saturday. He has never had a birthday party with friends, so he was excited. We invited the kids from church that are his age, the kids in our neighborhood, and a friend from soccer and basketball. We just had a party at our house. I will upload pictures as soon as I find the cord to the camera. It's been lost, which is frustrating! It was great to have our neighbors in our home, as well as our other friends. It was nice for them to meet each other as I keep praying for our neighbors to attend church. Now they will know more faces than just ours. A couple of the neighbors who we have really been trying to build relationships with did not come, but the others did.

We decided to build David a sandbox for his birthday. Our backyard is not really big enough for a swing set, but it is big enough for a sandbox, so Brent worked on that all day while I prepared for the party. It was nice to have a day NOT doing church stuff and accomplishing something big at home. I wanted David to have something to do in the backyard because otherwise he ends up watching too much television when I have casework to do. So, now he has a great activity! He loves it! The one downside - there is sand all over the house. Even in our bathroom, don't ask me why, the floor is covered wth sand. I hope it is because Brent was building it and this will not be a regular occurrence. But it is worth it!

I hope I don't sound like I am complaining, but having that day of "rest" was so refreshing! We did have to set the church up that evening, but I felt so ready to go and do it. I was eager and excited for Sunday, even though I knew the attendance was probably going to be lower because we knew of two families who were out of town. And Sunday was good - low attendance and all!

Then today I was at the park. I ran into a lady who knew we had started a church, and she was asking some questions. Come to find out, her husband is very skeptical of churches, but he has recently decided he wants to attend, so she wanted information. It was a great conversation! Who knows if God will lead them our direction, but I am excited for the opportunity to talk to her and to pray for their family!! I also ran into another lady who lives very near us (yet we were both at a park 20+ minutes north when there are parks all over the place down here) who is new to town from Longview, Texas, where her husband worked at Le Tourneau (the school Becky Casselberry attended). I was on the phone with Caroline when they arrived at the park! It's funny how God puts us in certain places at certain times. I didn't get to talk to her as much as I hoped, but I hope to run into her again! David really enjoyed her older son.

Thanks again for all of your sweet comments and words of encouragement and thanks to God for a few days of refreshment and encouragement!

Church Planting is Hard!

2008-03-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

We were told this when we began this whole adventure, and I believed it, but it is so much more real now that we are in the midst of it! I shouldn't complain because I do believe it is where God wants us to be. My husband has an incredible vision, and I love to watch him as he makes this vision clear to others, and I know that he would not be happy if this was not the journey we were on. And the truth is I like Church planting - I like what it can become - but all the steps that have to be taken to get there are not fun for me. The hard thing is that it is not always fun for Brent either, even though we are where God has directed us. God does not always take us down paths that are fun and easy. In fact, often he takes us down very difficult ones so that we can learn and so that others can learn and so that He can be glorified. I look at my own history; I look at the lives of my friends and family; most importantly, I look at the Bible. I read about Paul. His path led him to prison on more than one occasion. Jesus's path led him to the cross. And there are many more examples, all of which we can learn from.

My question is, "What am I supposed to be learning right now?" Sometimes it is so easy to look for what others should be learning. I need to just look inward! However, while I know that, it is still hard, and I feel like writing about it and not necessarily about what I need to be learning, just about the frustrations. It will be interesting to look back on this one day.

Sometimes we feel discouraged not because of what people say but because of what is not said or what is lacking. We have been experiencing some of this. On the other hand, people can also use their words to be so discouraging without probably even meaning to be. I am grateful that we have a lot of encouragers in our lives, but we have a lot of discouragement also. It seems like it often comes from the same place over and over, which is a struggle. Sometimes I just want to slap people and say, "Do you NOT get it?" Why is it that the discouragement always speaks so much louder than the encouragement. My opinion on that is that we are not listening closely enough to the encouragment and hearing God's voice in it. If we did, it would be much louder than anything else! God does not discourage; He corrects, He teaches, but He does not discourage.

Another area that is hard is trying to figure out what to do next. What does God want us to do? If He would just write it on the wall or email us, we would be so obedient. I want it to be so obvious, but it isn't always. We are seeking to do God's will in every step, but we are having such difficulty seeing clearly what our next steps should be. The church is not where we dreamed it would be after two months, so we are trying to figure out what is next. How do we reach the people? What people does God want us to reach? What strategies should we use? We have tried to build relationships, and I feel we have done a good job of that! But it takes time, a long time with some of the non-christians that we have relationships with, such as the Sikhs who live across the street. We have taken the truck out and given out a lot of ice cream, as well as cards about the church, but that has not produced results yet, either. What is next? Everybody has different opinions about that.

The schedule that we are keeping is hard, too. I so wanted to have a few days away at Spring Break, but that is not going to be possible, I don't think, which is frustrating to me. When you are church planting, and don't have a large launch team, it is impossible to work only five days. Pretty much, Brent works five very full days and two partial days. There are nice things in that he can take breaks here and there during the day and he is around the kids since he is officing at home, but it is not ideal. It would be much better if his office were not here, but that is not the situation in which God has put us for now.

The final thing that is hard is that I feel like everyone thinks I am trying to befriend them in order to get them to attend our church. I seriously doubt that is the case, but that is how I feel. I feel like all of my life is about recruiting, and I don't like it. I hope people realize that I am just like everyone else. I want friends, people who I can enjoy life with, who I can share with and who I can learn from. If they want to attend our church, that's great, but it is not my reason for befriending people! I have kind of shyed (sp?) away from inviting people, which is not good either. I say this a lot, but this is another one of those places where there is a fine line to walk on in order to keep balance.

So, now that I have finished that, Lord show me what it is that you want me to learn from all of this. How can I grow to be more like you as a result of church planting? And what should our next steps be?

David is 5!!!!

2008-03-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

Today is David's birthday - it's not been a very exciting day, but we did take him to Chili's for lunch, which he requested. We had gift cards left from Christmas, so that was nice!!! We opened a package from Brent's parents. We are going to truly celebrate next week with a party at our house with a few friends. He really seems a lot bigger to me - I know it is part psychological, but he is growing up. These pictures were taken today in the new Sooners jersey Grandma and Poppy sent. He was so excited to have a jersey "like his brothers."

He really needs a haircut. Jason had a haircut this week, so I tried to convince David to get one too. He usually likes to be like his brothers, so I said something to him about getting a haircut like Jason. He said he did not want one, so I said, "Don't you want to be like Jason?" He said, "No, I just want to be like myself!" I thought it was sweet, so no haircut, at least for now!!!!

FAITH

2008-02-28T23:28:00.001-08:00

I've started a new book that was recommended by my friend, Jan. It is about Faith. So far, I really like it. The most recent chapter went through the definition of faith and all the different meaning of the word according to different ways that it is used. The last thing that the author states I really liked. His wording is excellent. Thought I would share it. He said that faith is "the vital link between God and man. It is God activating in man such assurance and conviction regarding His will that one cannot but do the things that He asks." It is amazing when we are really paying attention to what God wants for our lives and really trusting HIm how much easier it can be to know the next steps to take. I say that on a day when I really am struggling with some decisions that we (I) have to make. The catch with this whole thing is that I am not sure there is always only one right answer. God gave us free will, and sometimes I think he provides options for us. I am struggling right now with that. Is God providing an option or is He specifically wanting me to go in one direction? If there is only one right answer, what is it?

We need to generate some additional income. The weekend after this realization, the doctor across street who has also become a friend, talked to me once again about working for him as his office manager. The timing of the conversation and the potential really excited me. But as time passed and the job began looking a little different than what I had imagined, I was not so excited. Today was the day of the interview, and to be honest, I was very, very nervous and really feeling like there was no reason to go because I just did NOT want to do the job. I felt a lot of pressure surrounding the whole situation for many reasons. My prayer all morning was that I would communicate well my strengths, my weaknesses and my desires and ask the right questions, which I think I did. There are three other doctors in his practice, so I met with him and two of them. The interview went well, and afterward, I felt much, much better about the possibility again. These waves of changing emotions are always the things that confuse me. For starters, I find it scary to rely on emotions when making decisions. (Of course, I have done it.) If I did it always, who knows where I would be right now, but definitely not right here. But I also know that God created us and made us with the emotions that we have, so maybe I should listen to them some, and sometimes they have steered me correctly. But how do you listen to something that changes like the wind. I am so thankful that God is unchanging and stable and wants what is best for me. I don't know at this point what I will do or even if they will offer me the job. That is left to be seen, and in the meantime, I will be praying a lot that God will make it very clear to me what I am supposed to do. I want nothing less than to be in the center of His will!

On another note, we are finally well in our house!!! YAY!!!! We had small group tonight for the first time in three weeks. Brent is actually out of town, so it was just me and two other couples (and of course all the kiddos running around). It was a nice evening. We had good discussion about God using our past to make us who we are today and how to forgive the hurts. I plugged the book I finished reading not too long ago, God Never Wastes a Hurt. I love small group. I love it that one of the couples does not profess Christianity but is willing to engage and be a part of the conversation. I love what I can learn from others. I realize how much I have missed not having a small group! It's good to have one again!

Tired of Sickness

2008-02-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

We've all been sick now for over two weeks. First James, then David, then Brent, then Jason, now me and Sarah. It's bronchial and fever stuff. It's tiring, and we are all ready to be well. Please pray for us! Maybe in a couple days I will have something more exciting to write, but lately it's been quite mundane - chicken soup, hot Tang and sleep!!! Forgive my complaining, I have much to be thankful for!

My funny children

2008-02-14T23:25:00.000-08:00

A couple of stories that made us laugh:

Earlier today, Sarah wanted to watch Winnie the Pooh. She really doesn't watch TV or movies yet, but when she thinks she wants a movie on, it is always Pooh. The thing is, we put it on and she watches for two minutes before leaving the room, rarely to return before the end of the movie, when she asks for it to be played again. So often, we don't put the movie on for her. Tonight when she went to ask for it, she said to Brent, "I want to watch Pooh. I'll be your best buddy!" She's not even three yet!

This afternoon I decided to wash the boys' sheets and comforters. It's time, plus I need to kill all the germs that are infecting my family! At bedtime they were not finished yet, so I told the kids to grab their sleeping bags. (I know we have extra sheets somewhere, but I don't know where, plus their blankets were not ready either.) Now, I do wash the boys' sheets regularly, but I definitely wash David's more than everyone else because he wets the bed occasionally still. At bedtime, when he walked in his room with his sleeping bag, he looked at me and questioned, "Jason and I wet the bed?" I guess he thinks the only reason to wash sheets is if there is an accident!!! (Note: he did not have an accident last night!)

I love my kids! They make me laugh!

A few things

2008-02-13T22:12:00.000-08:00

I finally finished the book, God Never Wastes a Hurt. I loved it, thought it was fantastic. It took me so long to get through it that I will have to go back and remember the main highlights, but one thing I read today that really hit me was a chapter called, How to Turn a Little into a Lot, in wich Jim Reeve talked about the widow in 2 Kings 4. This is the widow who went to Elisha for help when she had nothing. He told her to go and gather jars from her neighbors. When she did, he took the little oil she had and poured it into all of the jars. It just kept increasing until all the jars were full. I have heard this Bible story since I was very young, but had never stopped to think about it other than to realize how powerful God is and how He provides for us in the most unsuspecting of ways. I appreciated all of the principles that Mr. Reeve pointed out from the story. I could type for a long time about all the things he said, but I would instead recommend that you read it. The main thing I got is that she went to Elisha for help, probably expecting/hoping that Elisha would just fix her problem. Elisha didn't just fix it himself. Instead he had her go and do part of the work that would enable him to help her fix things. So often we sit back waiting for God to fix our problems. We pray, which is important, but we have to figure out our next step. What should I do to help in this situation? I think most of us probably go ahead and "do" because that is human nature, but for me I "do" because I feel like I have to in order to make something happen. I take control away from God. I am a person who likes to fix things, to the detriment of letting God at times. I go ahead and "do" by myself, all the time wishing God would just step in and fix it, rather than doing while praying that God would take what I am doing and make it even better than I could ever hope. I wonder what the widow hoped Elisha would do for her. Did she hope for something amazing or did she just hope not to starve? I know when I am in need, I hope that God will cover the need, but I don't necessarily hope for much more than that. It was convicting. I need to talk to God about my needs/wants, then listen for what He wants me to do, move forward with the next step and watch how he takes what I do and makes it so much more abundant than anything I could ever dream of.

On a lighter note, here is a picture of James at his birthday party. It was very simple with just three friends over. They opened some presents (this was a favorite!!!) then watched a movie on the big screen outside and the watched some more on the big screen inside. It was fun and loud!!! Now he is really sick, so pray for him if you think about it. He has bronchitis and sounds terrible. I took him to the doctor yesterday. It is viral in nature, so there is no medication, but he was put on two inhalers to try to help his lungs. The doctor was concerned about pneumonia and did chest x-rays, but it was just bronchitis. Also, Brent is feeling poorly now, and he could use some prayers. Eric is out of town this weekend, so he really needs to be well enough to make it through Sunday.

Here is our sweet daughter with her Daddy! Yes, she has him wrapped around her finger most of the time!

Jason had a field trip today to La Purisma, a spanish mission on the coast. We left his school at 6:30 this morning and traveled 2 1/2 hours (It actually took longer on the big charter bus) to this mission. It was a fun day. This is a picture of Jason with one of his friends in the soldier's quarters. It was a cool field trip! They are studying California history and the establishing of the Catholic Missions. This was especially fun for us because last year when I was homeschooling, we studied this also, so it was neat to be able to be with him. it was also fun to watch him interact with his classmates. He is a normal boy and I had to settle him down some, but he is also a very sweet gentleman. At one point, he gave up a "game" because there was not enough for everyone in his class. He passed it off to another student and waiting. Yet he jumped into the circle and participated as much as he could without the tool - silly little things make a mother proud!!!

I feel like I should say something about David, since there is something about the other kids. He is just David - sweet and onery!!! I have been working with him on reading, and he is doing quite well! That's exciting!!! It's so delightful and so difficult (all at the same time) to watch your kids grow and change. I love it when they are doing new things, but I wonder so much where the time went - where are my babies.

The mother of a teenager!

2008-02-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it, but I am now the mother of a teenager! James was born 13 years ago now, at 12:02 a.m. on February 10th. It's amazing to me how long ago that seems and yet how recently it seems. I can hardly believe thirteen years have passed! I have to tell you that he is an amazing kid. Yes, he is a teenager, and at times he drives us crazy, but he is a child who loves the Lord and truly wants to follow Him. What more could we ask for? The rest will follow. My greatest prayer is that his convictions and love for the Lord will stay strong as he moves through these next several years, which I think can be so difficult. I know he is really missing his friends from Bartlesville right now. It is a hard time to not have any close friends nearby. He will have his three closest friends here over tomorrow night to spend the night (school is out on Monday). His request for his birthday was pretty cool. He wanted Kevin to come over and talk about his plans for leading the teens in a Bible study at church because he would like his friends to be a part of that. Then he wanted to play Wii and watch movies on the big screen in the backyard. Our weather has been perfect for that, so that is our plan for tomorrow night. Although, I don't know that Kevin is coming over.

Speaking of Kevin . . . he is such a HUGE answer to my prayers. One thing about moving at James's age was that we had been given some advice a long time ago that was difficult to follow at the time of our move. That advice was that you should really encourage a connection between your child and an adult that you trusted so that during their teen years, when they were mad at you or just wanted someone different to talk to, they would hopefully approach this other adult. We had several people in our lives that could have fulfilled that role in Bartlesville, but we came here and knew no one. On top of that, we did not have a youth group for him to attend at our church because of the size. We knew that we wanted a youth program as soon as there was a need. Well, thank you to Kevin who pointed out that there is a need already. We have James and he should have a youth program. In addition, Kevin stepped up and said he would do it. We think so much of Kevin and his wife, Jill. They have been a huge blessing to us and to Kaleo and to Eric and now to my kids. James really looks up to Kevin and is so excited that Kevin wants to do this. James is excited to invite his friends also, which is way cool! I'm excited to see where this goes for James and for the church in general!

So, today we start this ride of having a teenager (though I feel like in a lot of ways, it already started). In some ways, I am excited; in others I'm not, but I am eager to see how God carries us through and shapes us as we learn to be the parents James needs us to be during this time of his life! I feel so blessed that overall, I have a really great kid with a really great heart and with good priorities.

"I just a four year old!"

2008-02-06T18:04:00.000-08:00

So yesterday David got in trouble - can you believe it???!!! He had been told he could not get on the Wii and was found sneaking on to it twice! Yes, twice! And it's in the living room, not in some hidden location, but obviously he thought he could be inconspicuous. So, after the second time, it was time for a spanking. I sent him to his room and went to talk to Brent. We called David into the office and were talking to him before the spanking. He was teary and looked up at Brent and said, "But, I just a four year old!"

I had to hold back the laughter. At the same time, I thought, "That's exactly what went through my mind when you were SNEAKING!!!" How could it start so early?

By the way, we were both giggling, but he did still get the spanking!

Happy Birthday Ishaan!

2008-02-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

Today we went to a birthday party for the little boy across the street, Ishaan. He turned five years old, and he and David are friends. His parents are from India and are Sikhs. I have blogged about them before. They are both doctors and are very sweet people. When they celebrate a birthday, it is not a two hour ordeal; it lasted from 3:00 until I don't know when - We left at about 8:00. They had pizza and sodas when we first arrived, then there was a clown that came and entertained the kids, then they had cake. Then after about another hour and a half, they served dinner with Indian food. They had a few family members there, and then there were a lot of other friends who are also Indian who came to the party. So many of them are so far away from family that they have just become a new family to each other. It is pretty cool! The people who were not Indian (parents of Ishaan's friends from school), left after the clown, but they really wanted us to stay and have their food. So, we stayed as long as we could. Brent did not get to eat dinner there because he had to go set up for church. I stayed and visited and had dinner. It was very interesting to be in the middle of this completely different culture. Everyone was speaking Punjabi, except for whoever was right next to me. The men and women separated (guys outside by the fire, women inside with little kids); Brent said the men hardly spoke in English at all. He said one of the men apologized but continued to talk in Punjabi. He told Brent they never get to speak in their native tongue like that. If it wasn't for the very American toys all over the house, I would have felt like I was not in America. The food was good - very spicy - and they were so excited that we were there and tried it. They asked over and over if it was good. They made a huge plate for Brent and sent it home with me - actually she carried it over here for me!

This is such a great ministry opportunity for us. When we were in Bartlesville I remember feeling so convicted about how few non-Christian friends I had. There were acquaintances, but not even very many of those. There are so many here all around us. There are all the people on our block. Some of them claim a faith in Jesus, but they are not living the lives we are called to live. Some of them do not know Jesus at all! There are people in activities that the kids are involved in and people at their schools. It is just really cool! My prayer now is not that I would find people who need Jesus, but that I would live my life in such a way that others can see a difference and that they will want to understand that difference. The hard thing about our Sikh friends is that they live really great lives. They have such a great community within their culture. They love each other and take care of each other. They are happy and kind and reach out to others. They are also perfectly happy with the fact that we believe in God. They think that what we believe is great, just like what they believe. I think this will be a long term opportunity to live our lives in a different way. Please pray for them and for their hearts to be softened and for them to be curious and want to know about our lives. They know Brent is a pastor and think it is great that he is "spreading the love of God." I pray that they will want to know more about that and invite us to share it with them. It was a huge step that we were invited into their home and into their culture! Now it is time for us to have them over here, so they can experience ours!

Our New Small Group

2008-01-25T11:52:00.000-08:00

We had such a wonderful small group in Bartlesville. We were in the same group from the time we joined Grace Community Church until about six to nine months before we moved away. It did change a lot over the years, different people, different times, etc., but it was the same group with some of the same people. We spent ten years in a small group with the Rumph's. The Casselberry's were in the group since shortly after Jason was born. We were mentored, held accountable, loved and nurtured by these people. We were with each other through new life and the loss of life, laughed with each other a lot and cried with each other some. We formed amazing friendships, which have and will continue to influence us for the rest of our lives! I miss the group so much!

When we decided to start a new small group here, on Thursday nights, which is the same night we met in Bartlesville, I felt extra homesick. But we have now met for two weeks, and it is so exciting and so fun to form new relationships. I try to imagine our friendships with these people in 10 years. When we joined our small group in Bartlesville, we were by far and away the youngest in the group. Now, in this group, we are the oldest! I think of what those "older" relationships (sorry to use the word older!) have meant to me, what I have learned from those who went before and even the opportunities God gave me to teach them, even though I am so much younger. We have those same opportunities with this new group, and I look forward to teaching and learning from them.

I have a really cool story about the group that I want to share. There is a couple who decided to join our launch team just a week before launch. Their names are Alex and Rhiannon. They are fairly new believers (maybe three years or so), and they are so excited about how God is using them and so excited to play a role at Kaleo. I don't know her real well yet, but I believe she very likely has the gift of evangelism. Well, she invited a friend of hers and her husband to join us last week. We were just having a social time to get to know each other better. I don't know where they are in their walk with the Lord, but I don't think they attend church, and at the risk of sounding judgmental, I really don't think they know Jesus. Anyway, they came, and we had a nice evening. We did not do anything real "churchy", but we did talk for about 10 minutes about what people wanted out of the group and then Brent closed in prayer. When this couple left, they were nice and said they enjoyed meeting us and gave me their email so I could let them know what was going on, but then the husband told the gal who invited them that he just isn't into church stuff, so I never expected to see them again. So I was ecstatic when they came last night. I had prayed that God would lead them back if He so desired - I prayed about it all week. I had emailed them and told them that we would be meeting for fellowship AND Bible study, so they knew what they were coming to. It was fantastic. They participated and asked great questions and just seemed really at home. Even better, they offered to bring dinner for the group next week, so apparently they are coming back. I am excited to be a part of what God is doing in their lives and in our lives through them. I am also just so excited about the boldness of Alex and Rhiannon, who invited them. Please pray for our group as we are witnesses to this couple and all the people who we run into who do not know Jesus!

It has been crazy busy with church stuff since launch, so my posts are so infrequent. It's nice that there are some of you who still check to see if I am out here in Blogland!!!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

I wanted to upload some more pictures, but right now this will have to do! It is exciting to get a good picture of six people!!! This was only try number 2 - not bad! This was taken at home after the Christmas Eve service.

We spent the last day of 2007 at the San Diego Zoo. Both Brent's parents and my mother gave us some money to go toward a day out for our family. We were originally going to go to Sea World, but at the last minute we decided to go to the San Diego Zoo. We were able to purchase season passes for our family and will be able to go several more times during the year. My grandmother and aunt and uncle and cousins are in San Diego, so we go down there periodically. We are excited that we will be able to use this Christmas present all year! It is a huge blessing. In my experience, since Brent entered ministry, it is hard to really get a break unless you leave town and DON'T answer the cell phone! We got home last night at about 10:00, before the drunk drivers were on the road, which was our goal, then just rung in the new year with the kids. Jason fell asleep moments before, and James and Brent and I were dealing with "some issues" right up until midnight! I love having a teenager (almost)!

As I was thinking through 2007, the main thing that kept coming to mind is all the changes that have taken place. I'm sure that is true for most everyone. I have especially thought of the changes in my kids! James is almost 13 (1 months, and 10 days to be exact - he keeps reminding us!). That comes with all the good and bad. His attitude makes us crazy sometimes, but his tender heart and his true love for us and for the Lord is amazing. He has handled all of the change in our lives so incredibly, even though he hates being away from Bartlesville. He has learned to adapt and to adjust, and we are so thankful! He has some things to work on, as far as his attitude, but he wouldn't be human if he did not!

Jason is almost 10 - double digits! I think the move has been hardest on him actually. Sometimes I am not sure if I am right about that, but last night we were talking with him, and I heard myself say some things to him about what has changed negatively in the last six months in his behavior. I realize that the six months is pretty much the time we have been here. He also has some things to adjust in his attitude, but we are working on that. He is no longer a little boy, though, and we can see him entering the pre-teen stage. He has improved so much in school, and he has worked hard to make this happen. We never doubted he was smart, but he has always been less motivated and much slower to learn to things. Now, as I volunteer in his classroom, I see all that intelligence shining through. He is proud of his new found abilities and so are we!!

David is not a toddler anymore - I don't know how that happened. He will be five in early March - five - that means kindergarten next year. Where did the time go? I well up with tears as I type this. He has probably changed the least, however. He continues to just run and play all the time. He loves his friends and has several on our street. He loves balls - any type - and continues to be very talented athletically. We will see where that takes him with a family on non-athletes. We are trying to be sensitive to his abilities while knowing that we do not want our lives dominated by sports. He is a very loving child, probably the most affectionate of all the kids! He is also very smart, and we are excited as we watch him pick up on new things all the time.

I would say the first of the two most exciting changes in Sarah is that she is Potty Trained!!!!!!!!! There is nothing like potty training the baby of the family - no more diapers in this house!!! The second is that she has become a much friendlier little girl. I think I posted about this in the beginning of my blogging. She just did not like other people - kids or adults. She is still slower to warm up, but I think it is healthy now. She does play with other kids and she warms up much more quickly to adults that she did before. It is good! She has also developed quite an attitude! She knows what she wants and when she wants it and does not necessarily take no for an answer so nicely anymore. She does not put up with much from her brothers either.

I can't really speak for Brent about his year, but I can say that he is amazing and is doing a great job depending on God as we follow Him in starting this new church. It is hard at times, but I think we both agree that the hard times only help us to grow more dependent on how God wants to use us! As for myself, I have been stretched this year, particularly in the move for sure. Moving is not new to me. I grew up moving all of the time and making new friends every time I turned around. I went to 12 or 13 different schools before I finished high school, but I had been in Bartlesville for 16 years and moving was hard. I thought I would stay put and my kids would finish school in the same town where they started. I don't necessarily like it when my plans are changed, but I definitely felt a peace about moving, and God has been faithful to help me as we have adjusted to this new city. I am thankful that He has helped me to be bold in building new relationships, with complete strangers. He has helped me to be the hostess I never dreamed I could be, to cook and to clean and to enjoy entertaining. (Not something I really wanted to do before.) He has provided amazing friends and has helped me to be able to maintain my friendships in Bartlesville (something I was terribly afraid of losing). He has also provided amazing opportunities for me to have to be completely dependent on HIM - both in good ways and in very difficult ways.

Some of 2007 was very hard, some of it was incredibly wonderful. I have great memories, and am so thankful for all of the opportunities we have had. Have and wonderful 2008!!

Merry Christmas - A Couple Days Late

2007-12-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I posted anything. There are several things to account for that. The first is that I watched the first two seasons of 24. I have never watched the show but have so many friends who are addicted to it. I have to say that I like it, but it is addicting. I only have two seasons in my house, but I am sure if the third had been here, I would have started watching it also. I think I will wait to see the third for a while. We were also busy planning and preparing for the Christmas Eve Service. I had several adoption cases to finish before Christmas.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We did. It was somewhat stressful until Christmas day, but we had a very relaxing Christmas day. We missed our family and friends, but it was still nice. We did not shop until just a few days before, but that was nice. Brent and I got away overnight, which we needed so much, and we shopped part of the time. We did not buy nearly as much this year. We have decided a couple of things. One is that we are going to buy one together gift for the kids at Christmas, plus stocking stuffers. Hopefully it will eliminate all of the junk that accumulates in our house. It also allowed for better use of our money. We did not spend as much and purchased two oxen and a plow for a village in a third world country with the extra money we would have spent. This year we bought the kids an Air Hockey Table. They are enjoying it.

I cooked Christmas dinner. I don't really like to cook a lot (although I have gotten better), but the meal turned out nicely. I was a little nervous about cooking a turkey for the first time, but it was good, and even my gravy turned out. That is a huge deal around here - I have never made gravy that had the right consistency. Eric came over to eat, then afterward, we were just all exhausted and laid around on the couch while the kids played. I dozed off a couple times!

Christmas Eve we had a service with all of the Independent Christian Churches in the area combined. We did the majority of the planning and preparing, and it was held in our facility. It turned out nicely, but I will say we were thankful when it was over ane we could relax.

As I look back over the year, I feel so grateful for all of God's blessings! I am completely humbled by the fact that he took the form of a man and came to this earth to live and experience life like us and then be sacrificed so that you and I can live eternally with Him. I am so undeserving! I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! I will try to post some pictures later.

So Much Happening

2007-12-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

It was a crazy week last week. We had our preview service on Sunday and had great friends, the Bergs, here to visit. It was a good week, but just incredibly busy. I don' t know even where to start.

Our visit with the Berg's was not what I had hoped, though it was such a huge blessing to see them! I wanted to just be able to spend lots of stress free time with them, take them up to the Sequoia's and talk and share life. Well, they definitely shared our life and got to be an important part of the very first actual service for the church, which was way cool! But I felt terrible that we did not have the time to take them to the Sequoia's or anything. Friday and Saturday they were a tremendous help for us as we got things prepared - cleaned children's toys, set up cabinets in the children's ministry room (They won the race and even helped with a second cabinet!!!), set up chairs, bought last minute things, etc. Then they attended the service and helped us tear down. We fed them late meals and worked them to death. We did get to enjoy Sunday and Monday. We hoped to get away, but things did not work out. However, our friends, the Limiero's kept all four of our kids from the time church was out until after we got back from the airport the next day. We showed them around Bakersfield - the beautiful parts and the really ugly parts. Then we returned to our house and sat around debating ministry issues before we played board games. We were up late, then slept in the next morning. We then went down to Burbank for lunch and to get them to the airport. Because of a huge wreck on "The 5" we were routed to the 405 and ended up at Santa Monica. They were able to see and have a picture by the ocean, then we had an excellent italian lunch before heading back up to the airport. It was a nice day! Jeff and Courtney, I hope you guys know how much you mean to us!!! I know it was a hard weekend, but we love you and appreciate you!

Our service went amazingly well! There are things we will adapt and change, but overall it was great! We had five families attend that had not been involved with our launch stuff at all. There were lots of volunteers from the other churches with a total attendance of 68. We were thrilled, considering we did no advertising for this one. It seems like children's ministry went well, and the kids enjoyed it. Our facility is wonderful!!! We are so incredibly blessed! One person that attended the service told Brent he did not understand the preview service and thought we should just continue on every week. Parts of me wish that was possible, but right now we have so much to get done before January 13th that we need the time. It was encouraging, though, that someone was so excited! People expressed excitement over the Service Sundays, which is good, too. It's a little out there to actually not have a regular service one Sunday a month, so we have wondered how people will respond, yet we feel convicted that this is incredibly important to help keep the church outwardly focused, so it's nice to hear someone catching the vision.

The final thing I want to touch on is Spiritual Warfare. We have been warned over and over about spiritual warfare in church planting. We have felt pretty blessed in that things have flown smoothly for the most part. There have been moments, but I don't think all of that has been spiritual warfare. But I definitely think I experienced a lot of it this past week. While I tried to prepare myself, I didn't do a very good job. This time it came in such an unexpected way. I know that the next six weeks could be filled with even more. I guess I would just ask for extra prayers surrounding this. We just want to be good tools, and even today I have felt so emotionally overwhelmed with things that I have not been able to accomplish things that need to be accomplished. I'm sure that Satan is just smiling from ear to ear as he watches me being paralyzed in my emotions.

2007-11-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I did not get any good pics on the actual day of Thanksgiving while we were down with my relatives. I don't know what I was thinking. We had a great time, and it was such a cool deal to be able to spend a holiday with them. I know it will happen more now, but it has been since my childhood that I actually was with those cousins for a holiday, other than Memorial Day. We had a good time!

I did, however get pictures of us with the Weichbrodts on the following day at the Getty Center Museum. Here are a couple. It was such a fun afternoon, and it has been a long time since we have seen that many of the Weichbrodts. With everyone growing up, it is hard. Noel and his wife, Elissa, were not there, but everyone else was.

While my dad was here, we found a beautiful park in Bakersfield that we had not run across yet. It is up where the river truly runs. For those of you who we haven't told, Bakersfield has a river bed that runs through it. Only if there is enough water, is the river running. They actually pump the water out of the river and to somewhere (I'm sure Brent knows where.). If there is enough rain, then the river is "turned on" at Memorial Day. Yes, they actually say "turned on", and when there is not enough rain, like this past summer, the news anchors say things like the river cannot be turned on yet. It is so strange. Anyway, the river is beautiful if you drive Northeast enough to see it! The kids loved throwing rocks in the water, even Sarah!

Here is a nice picture of my dad with the kids. I have been trying to get a good picture of all of them for a while. Finally! We had a nice visit with him. I'm glad he got to see our house and the location for the church and the city we live in. He was able to discover that there are some very nice parts of Bakersfield! It was fun for the kids to have their grandfather around. They spent quite a lot of time wrestling with him. While he was here, we got out most of the Christmas stuff. I love it when the house is decorated for Christmas. It seems so warm and inviting, so I took some pictures of that too!

Finally, a quick note to those of you who read my post last night - there was no crying while tinkling today!!! That's quite the note to end on!

Another Day in the Life of Potty Training

2007-11-27T22:34:00.001-08:00

Quickly, I just wanted to say that today was a good day. Sarah wore panties all day with the exception of naptime and a quick run out to the store this evening. Things are improving! However, she hates to go. I have never experienced anything like it. She holds it as long as she possibly can, then when she finally can't anymore and she starts to tinkle, she cries and cries, like she is in pain. But when she goes in a diaper, she does not cry. It's like it scares her or something. I can't figure out what the deal is. By the time she went before bed tonight, she did not cry, but she did the rest of the day. I told Brent that if it doesn't stop, I will have to call the doctor. Has anyone ever been through something like this?

Potty Training - A Small Step Forward!!!

2007-11-26T22:14:00.000-08:00

Before we made our move back in May (over six months ago), Sarah was working on potty training herself. We decided not to push it because of the long drives in the car and figured that when we got here, we would just get it done quickly. However, she often went on her own, removing her diaper, then running to tell us when the potty chair was full. So, when we got here, I was bummed to find out that she wanted nothing to do with her potty chair, or any toilet for that matter. I know that kids regress during big changes, and that is exactly what happened to Sarah. In our almost seven months of being here, she has only used the toilet on two occasions (plus tonight) that I can remember. She was doing that each day in Oklahoma. But, even more frustrating, she has been wearing underwear part of the time but absolutely would not go on the toilet or potty chair. When she had to go, she would cry and beg for a diaper. If I sat her on the potty, she cried even harder. So, I decided to just let it lie for a while. I would mention that big girls use the toilet and stuff like that, but did not put panties on her or put her on the potty.

Tonight, however, I picked her up to leave, and she did not have a diaper on. I was running late, so I just left her that way and told her not to go in her pants. We know she can hold it based on the begging for diapers situations. We took Jason to tutoring, then ran to the store, then picked Jason up from tutoring and stopped at Albertson's before coming home. We stopped once to try to go to the bathroom, but she did not go. While in Albertson's, I was paying, and she started yelling that she needed to go potty and holding herself - made a lot of people laugh. I ran her back to the bathroom, but she did not go. We came home and tried again. She still did not go. She asked for a diaper but I decided we were going to sit on the potty chair instead. I grabbed some books and into the bathroom we went. She sat there listening for a few minutes, then she stood up and started crying and begging for a diaper. I told her she could not have it and sat her back down. Obviously, she had reached her limit on ability to hold it because she went. She cried like she thought she shouldn't be going in her potty chair, but when it was over, she was happy as could be and got a little reward. It was bedtime by this time, but she did not want a diaper on and wanted to get another reward. I made her go to bed - we will see what tomorrow holds, but I feel at least a little encouraged and hopeful.

Sorry if this is more information than most of you wanted to know, but there are silly joys in motherhood, and this is one of them. It seems worthy of sharing!!

Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

We have so much to be thankful for!!! My dad is here, and we have enjoyed his visit. It's so nice to have him here to see where we live and to just catch up. It is so much niceer to talk in person than over the phone. We spent Thanksgiving Day at my aunt and uncles down in San Diego. It is so beautiful down there!!! It was nice to be with family. I have three cousins who were there, as well as their children. Two of my cousins wanted us to write down for them what we are thankful for. My list could have gone on and on, and it just made me stop and think about how incredibly blessed I am. I have a wonderful, healthy family. My husband is fabulous and he loves the Lord and wants to be obedient to the Lord, and he loves me! My children are fun! The oldest two are committed to Jesus and are doing their best to be the boys that God wants them to be. My youngest two are just sweet and loving and smart. My parents love me and my family and want the best for us. Brent's parents love me, too, and are so good to us! We have had a huge transition this year with very little difficulty. We have made friends and are enjoying all of the new relationships. We have amazing friends in Oklahoma and around the country who we miss so much! God supplies all of our needs and more, financially and otherwise! I could go on and on. I am most thankful for the sacrificial love of God. I look at my children and can only begin to imagine how hard it would be to give them up, yet He did so eagerly for me and you. It's uncomprehendable.

We had an incredibly special treat yesterday. On our way down to San Diego on Thursday, I remembered that the Weichbrodt's (great friends and mentors to us) were planning to be in LA with their son for the holiday. We called them, and sure enough they were there, so we were able to meet with them yesterday at the Getty Center (a beautiful, and FREE, museum in LA). We spent about four hours with them. Everyone in the family was there, except their oldest son, who is married and lives in St. Louis. We have not seen all of them in a long time. It was a great afternoon!

My dad leaves tomorrow, and we will miss him. I feel teary already. Luckily the week will be drowned in the busyness of preparing for our preview service on Sunday and preparing for our anticipated visit with the Berg's. We cannot wait for them to arrive! I definitely think Christmas will be hard. I already feel some pangs of loneliness. Christmas music and Christmas trees just make me think of Bartlesville and family and friends. I am missing traditions, like cookie baking at the Casselberry's, the cookie exchange we used to have with ladies in Bartlesville, sitting around in a circle on Christmas Eve while Stephen read the Christmas Story, and I know there will be other things that crop up. But, again, I am so thankful, and I don't want to get down. We will start our own traditions here, and I am excited to see what those will be.

I'm off for now! Have a good night!

"I love myself!"

2007-11-18T23:06:00.001-08:00

I have a few things to post about, but I just have not felt motivated to type. I thought I would start with this very cute story about David!!! For those of you who do not know him as well, he is my most trying pre-schooler, but he is also my most vocally loving and affectionate child. He is incredibly grateful and incredibly complimentary, which has really been a blessing to him when he has been completely destroying something or being totally mischievous!!! When he gets a gift, it can be underwear, and he still says the sweetest, most endearing and sincere thank you! It makes you want to buy and buy for him. The other night, he asked Brent for a movie, and when Brent came home with the movie, he ran to Brent, hugged him and said, "You are so awesome!" He does this regularly, and he particularly likes the word "awesome", which brings me to my current story.

Last night we had a family game night on the Wii. We played boxing and dodge ball and tetherball. Anyway, in the middle of the game, he looked at Brent and said, "Dad, you are awesome!" Then he told me I was awesome, then James, then Jason, then Sarah! When he was finished there was a pause, and he said, "I love myself!" It made us laugh. I don't know if he was waiting for a return complement, and when he didn't get it from us, decided to do it on his own or what, but it was so funny! I'm glad he has a healthy view of himself. Hee! Hee!

Maybe it is not as cute on a blog, but it was precious at the moment! It's moments like those that just make being a mom the greatest joy in the world!

Swimming and Scenery

2007-11-17T14:33:00.000-08:00

These are pictures of David and Sarah at swimming lessons. They aren't the greatest, but they give you some idea! They have been loving it. Although, Sarah was very attached to her instructor, who left for the coast guard. When she got her new instructor, she cried for three lessons, but I think she is better now. David is pretty much swimming on his own. He will be excited to show Gramma Casselberry when we are home in the summer!!!

My mom was here to visit, so we went back up to the Sequoias. My friend, Courtney, who is coming in a couple weeks, asked if we were so tired of going there that we would not want to go with them. I don't know that we can get tired of it. It is absolutely so beautiful!!! the trees are amazing, but so is all the scenery when you are driving up and down the mountains. God is such an amazing Creator.
I have some other stuff to post about, but we have to get ready for church in the morning. Christ's Church of the Valley is commissioning some of their people to go with us to help with the church plant! We need to finish the information sheets that we are taking. It has been so busy that we didn't get it done before now. We decided to take most of this day and rest and hang with the kids! Maybe I will post a little more later!

A quick update

2007-11-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

My mom arrived yesterday! It's great to see her. We have not seen her in over a year - the longest I've ever gone without seeing her. We are glad to have her here. She is only able to stay until Monday morning, so we are just enjoying our time while we can. She makes great salsa, so I took her to a highly recommended Mexican grocery store today to buy veggies and such. I could not believe this store. They had produce and meats and all sorts of stuff that I have never dreamed of. Did you know that some people somewhere (apparently in Bakersfield) like to buy cows lips. Seriously, in the meat department there were cow's lips, and a lot of them. I have to think it is not because they are old and not selling but because there is a demand of some sort for them. I could not stay near the meat department for very long. Some of the things that I saw turned my stomach. The produce section, on the other hand, was amazing. There were so many different types of fruits and vegetables. My mom, who lives in Michigan, was so excited about all the different types of peppers one could buy there! They had several different types of bananas. Forgive me if I have been missing something all of my life, but I never knew there was more than one type of banana. I guess I was wrong. They had these tiny little bananas that were probably no longer than three inches. It was a fun little shopping excursion, and my mom enjoyed it. Saturday we will take her up into the mountains to see the giant trees! Tomorrow will just be a quiet day, I think.
The kids are all doing well. Mom was able to attend James gymnastics practice tonight, and she was able to go to David's swimming lesson. Both are doing well in their activities. James moved quickly through Level 1, but Level 2 is definitely a challenge. He is great in the area of strength, but his flexibility is lacking. Most kids start when they are so young and flexible, and that is more of a challenge when you are older. He is giving it his all, though. I imagine David will move up to the next level in swimming after this term. He has improved greatly. He is all about the competition (and this is not competitive swimming), so when I told him there was a higher level class, but he had to follow all his teacher's instructions and learn to freestyle swim (only I had to describe that to him - he doesn't know that word), he went to his class that day and swam freestyle, taking breaths like he was supposed to. He wouldn't even try before the little pep talk. I just assumed he couldn't figure out how to do it. It seems he just didn't understand the reason for doing it!!! That's David!
Sarah got a new swim instructor, and she is having adjustment difficulties. She loved her previous teacher, a young college-aged guy named Tim. He was so good with her and she just laughed and smiled the whole lesson. Last week, she started working with Misty, and she cried the whole time. I watched, and Misty was very good with her, so I decided something must have happened that I just didn't see, like she swallowed a lot of water or something. So, we went back yesterday. She was excited and wanted to go. When we checked in at the desk, the gal said, she'll be with Misty, and Sarah immediately started crying. I really like Misty, but that just made me wonder. Sarah is not usually like that, so I watched real closely yesterday, and Misty was great with her - encouraged her, hugged her when she was too upset, etc. - but Sarah just cried. We will see how things go next week. It's a little strange, and Misty knows that she never cried with Tim. She mentioned it yesterday. I am hoping it will get better! She still swims and does what Misty asks, so I guess that is good! Jason's on a break from activities right at the moment, but can I brag on him a little? He has had such a hard time learning to read. It has been a struggle as long as he has been in school. So when school started this year, I got him into tutoring. God is so good, He provided someone in our launch team who is a fourth grade teacher and does tutoring for extra income. Jason has moved up a whole grade level in his reading abilities in only eight weeks. He actually goes and gets books out of the library and finishes reading them now, and he is so proud of himself. He is still not quite at grade level, so he continues in tutoring, but we are proud and excited for him!!!
Brent and I are just busy, busy, busy. As I have said so many times - there is just so much to get done and so little time, but we're moving along! We are excited for our upcoming preview service on December 2nd. That is the biggest deal with the church plant right now. I am trying to develop more and more relationships, and have gotten involved with a mom's group, which has been fun, and I have met some really neat people. My quick update is not so quick - I should be done, so I will be. Good night everyone!

A New Book

2007-11-01T22:38:00.000-07:00

Since I made it through that last book, Raising Kids for True Greatness, and really liked it, I decided I would try to continue reading something besides child abuse cases! I did not know what to read next, though, and had picked up a book that hasn't really captured me. Today Brent came from with a bunch of books that his Church Planting Coach, and more importantly friend, gave to him from a conference he attended. One of them is called God Never Wastes a Hurt by Jim Reeve. I liked the title, so I decided to start reading it. Then after I had thrown a really lousy dinner together, Brent told me to take the book and go to Starbucks for a while and have some time alone, which was incredibly nice because I was really tired of being a mom today.

I ran to Costco and got a few necessary groceries, then went to Starbucks for an orange frappucino (I hate coffee!!) and read the first chapter of the book. So far, it's really good! You can kind of gather from the title what the book is about, and I have certainly, like most of you, experienced a lot of pain in my life. I know that God uses those painful times, but it is always good to read about that and be encouraged. Several things stood out in the book tonight. First of all, Romans 8:37 says, "No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." the author pointed out the "more than conqueror" part. In Greek, these three word are one and the prefix for it is the word from which we get the word "hyper." He says that we are "hyper-conquerors." He said, "God does not declare His children to be victors on occasion or by the slimmest of margins, but rather champions who relentlessly defeat their opponents." That is encouraging to me. It may take a while, but with Christ I can conquer the painful times in my life.

He talks about our mountaintop experiences in our faith, which are so encouraging, but can almost become discouraging because of the long valleys between them. He said the key is not to forget what God said and did during the mountaintop experiences. Sometimes when we are stuck in the valley, those memories are so faint. While those experiences are amazing and wonderful, it is usually in the valleys that our faith grows and is strengthened. It is also important to remember that God is with us, protecting us during those valley times, even if it does not necessarily feel like it.

He also spent a lot of time talking about the Valley of the Shadow of Death. I had never thought about the fact that David says "Shadow of Death" instead of just "Death." He pointed out the difference and how crucial it is that the word shadow is there. Mr. Reeve said, "Shadows are typically bigger than the reality they represent." We need to remember that beyond the dark valley is light and during our valley look eagerly for the light ahead. Satan would like nothing better than to keep us in the dark! That is all easier said than done. I have had several times in my life when I knew there would be something on the other side. I remember one time, in particular, saying to Brent, "I can't wait until we can look back on today and know why God put us through this." I knew there was light ahead, but it still hurt and drug me down while I was in the midst of the struggle. But, those feeling of pain and anger and frustration and what made me choose to depend on God. If I could just, on my own, say this is no big deal because there is an end in sight, I don't know how much it would have done for my walk with the Lord. I hate those times, but they are times or great dependence on my Creator, which is awesome!

I think I am going to enjoy this book and am excited to keep reading it. It's cool how God cares about little things, even what books we are reading. He knows that I don't love to read. He knows that I want to read because it is good for me and teaches me a lot. He knew I was not really enjoying the book I had picked up. So he sent this book, via David, to Brent, had him sit it on the kitchen counter so that I would see it and pick it up. I know it's silly, but I think that is cool!

Update

2007-10-29T22:36:00.000-07:00

I have so not felt like typing lately. I don't know why, but at the end of the day, I just want to veg and not use my brain. But, I have a lot to update. Soccer season came to an end. We are looking forward to NOT waking up at 6:45 on Saturday morning. It was a good season, and we enjoyed getting to meet lots of new people. Here are some pictures.

As you can see, David was not the best goalie!!! I don't think there was enough action, so he was creating his own by climbing on the outside of the goal. He loved to play the rest of the positions, though, anything that allowed him to chase and kick a ball. The third picture is of him and his new friend, Max, giving each other a high five when the other team scored for them!!! We are still working on the good sportsmanship aspect of playing ball. Earlier in the season, however, he did gather a group of about five kids from both teams and had everyone put their hands in the middle and yell teamwork while rasing their hands in the air. It's amazing what kids pick up because we never taught him those things.
After the games on Saturday, we had an end of the season party. It was a lot of fun. We went to a park with the church's ice cream truck and blew up the inflatable, had hotdogs and cupcakes and ice cream. It was fun for the kids and we were able to visit more with the parents. Here are some pictures from the party.

James did not play soccer - we don't know why because he kept asking after the season started, but he was a good sport most of the time and enjoyed cheering his brother's on and helping watch Sarah. David and two of the boys on his team had siblings on Jason's team, so they became good buddies. This is David sitting with Samuel and Christopher. Sarah had a chocolate cupcake at the party. It was a mess, but she is still adorable!!! The last picture is of Jason receiving his trophy from his amazing coaches, Dad and Eric. Brent enjoyed coaching Jason, and he and Eric made a good team. Eric knows soccer, and Brent knows kids. It worked quite well.
James is in gymnastics and is doing very well. He worked his way through Level One quickly. He says that Level 2 is much more difficult, but he is enjoying it, and it is very good for his strength! He is so strong.
Next I have a quick picture of David and Sarah dressed for Halloween. We went to a party this morning for a mom's group that I am trying to be more involved in so that I can meet people and so can the kids. We had a nice time.

One of the ladies in the group asked me if I would lead a Bible study for some of the women, so that starts in the morning here at our house. Please pray that I would communicate effectively and that relationships will grow. As far as I know, there are only three other ladies joining us in the morning, but I am excited and hopeful that it will grow to more!
We did a service project with our launch team and Life Journey Church on Sunday morning. It was exciting. We will send out an email with pictures and more information, but it was a great day! We cleared a very long alley that had been being used as a dump. There were city officials out to help us. They were so excited that there were churches that were willing to go into that part of town and make a difference. Some of the neighborhood people came out and helped. It was incredibly exciting!
I guess that is about it for now. God is faithful and though we are struggling at times because our launch team is not as big as we were hoping or because there is too much to do and not enough time or any number of other things, He is wonderful to encourage us exactly when we most need it!!